THE AFTER EFFECTS OF THE "NO CALL"

What goes through a girls head after we have sex with you and don't hear back

The other day I was hanging out with a girlfriend of mine and I asked her about a guy she'd been hanging out with. They had went out about a month by the time they had sex. When I asked when the last time she heard from him it had been a week or so. Immediately I said how it sucks when you're dating or you just hooked up a guy and then you sit there wondering if you'll ever hear from them again. Every girl I know over analyzes why her phone hasn't at least chimed with a text message from him. Here's a little insight for guys on what goes through our head as we sit and wait.

Literally every possible thing that could've gone wrong is what we worry about. She and I sat there and listed them off.

Was I not good enough in bed?
Did I not pull out enough tricks?
Did I do too many tricks?
Did he think I was fat?
Did he not like how I looked naked?
Was my butt too big? Were my boobs too small?
Did I smell?
Did I make too much noise...or not enough?
Did I make weird faces?

That's just the stuff we wonder about ourselves afterwards and we're waiting to hear back from a guy. There's a ton of other things we think that have nothing to do with us.

Was he just using me?
Was it just because he was drunk?
Does he really have a girlfriend?
Was it just a game for him?
Did I do something wrong?
Did I sleep with him too soon?
Was he just looking to hookup?

I could go on and on, but you get the idea. This is just a taste of the mental torture that ladies put ourselves through when we are waiting to hear from a guy. Sometimes I don't think guys even realize that by their not calling or texting us that it sends us into paranoia. I think guys just do it and move on. Where girls are wondering if we did was bad/wrong.

I know the last time I wondered these things. He and I never dated, more like friends I guess. After we hooked up I sat there wondering if or when I'd ever hear from him again. Even though I know we aren't going to date it would still be nice to hear from them. Even if it's just a quick "Hey how was your day?" It makes you feel a little better. You know, less like a piece of meat and more like a person that has feelings.

Since that night I haven't heard from him. The next week I had all those questions go through my head. Especially, since it had been a while since I'd been with anyone. I guess I was feeling a little sensitive. I wondered if I was up to par or not. Was my body good enough? Was I good enough in the skills dept.? I tried not to worry too much about it, but I have a tendency to pick myself apart and over analyze.

So guys, the next time you hook up with a girl that you're dating, trying to date, friends with, or hook up with every once in awhile, please don't wait forever to get back in touch with her. Seriously, just send her a text and say hi or something. Save our sanity.

WHY IS THERE ALWAYS A BUT???

A while back I wanted to write this blog.  I had decided to put it on the back burner, but after a few things that have happened in recent months, I've decided that I needed to get this one off my chest.

I know a lot of single ladies will feel me on this one...

Picture this scene:  Girl sees boy she finds attractive at (insert place here).  She finds out his name and maybe tries to find him on Facebook. Then only to find out that he has a (insert obstacle here: ex, wife, girlfriend, fiance, baby mama). It happens every time!  Every guy that I find attractive has a giant "BUT!"

It doesn't always have to be the typical "BUT" either. Typical "BUT's" would be, as I mentioned earlier: wife, girlfriend, fiance, baby mama, or girl they've been dating for an extended period of time. Other "BUT'S" include: kids, job issues, past relationship issues, jail time, or any other life obstacle that would make them a possible undesirable person to date.

I don't want to fail to mention that these "BUT's" aren't always labeled by me or the woman.  These are "BUT's" that the subject puts upon themselves.  For instance, I once had a guy flat out tell me he wouldn't date me because he had too much drama in his life.  His drama included: ex, kid, and some financial issues. Actually, it really included several general life roadblocks.  Put those all together and this guy is not looking for a relationship. (Or at least not one with me)

They say finding someone has a lot to do with timing.  Sometimes I think that's a little bit of B.S.,but other times I think it's got some truth to it. How is it though...that every single person that I've been attracted to in the last 5 years of my life has a "BUT?" 

Let me think of some of the "BUT's."

• There's a hot guy at my gym...BUT he's married! AND his wife is pregnant! ---He's OUT!
• I met this guy when I was out with my friends...BUT...he doesn't want a gf because he wants to travel.
• I have this great guy friend I've always had a crush on...BUT he lives in another state.
• I know this guy that is a great catch. Smart, good looking, great sense of humour...BUT he has a baby mama...AND he's still hung up on her.
• There's this guy I think is super cute...BUT he likes blonds...AND big boobs!
• I dated this sweet guy...BUT he was at a bad place in his life when we dated.

Do you get my point?  These are just a few of the "BUT's" that I could come up with in 1.26 min.  If you gave me about an hour I could come up with a ton.  

When will I ever meet someone I'm attracted to and there's no "BUT?" Is there always going to be a "BUT" and I'll just have to settle? Will I have to settle with a guy that his "BUT" is that I don't find him attractive? (He's a nice guy...BUT...I'm thinking of someone else when we're in bed together.) Just saying'.

SCARED TO BE MYSELF

I'm sure I've talked about this subject before, but in case I haven't...here it goes. 

I was flipping around TV and caught a bit of The Bachelor Pad finale. Blakeley, one of contestants, said something that struck me. She comes across as a little rough around the edges. She's tatted up and is a little bit of a tough talker. While on the show she started dating a guy. A guy that thought she was gorgeous and was happy to be with her despite her tough exterior.

Even though I wanted to puke while watching her get emotional over finding this great guy, I couldn't help feel for her in a way.  Here's a girl that comes off tough, but still found a guy that loves her.  In fact, he popped the question on the show! Now will it work out?? In today's day and age it's tough, but I did appreciate that she found someone. (Although I don't believe for a second that she's ever had a shortage of boyfriends)

The part that stuck out for me is when she said thought it was all too good to be true. Through her tears she admitted that she didn't know what she did to deserve someone like Tony. She went on to say that he lets her be herself and can let her guard down.

Even though I kind of wanted to barf, I knew how she felt.  I've never been in a relationship where I could be myself.  To be honest, it doesn't even get to that point most of the time. Every time I go out with a guy I'm paralyzed with fear to by myself.

After years of being myself without any success with relationships I thought maybe I need to tone myself down.  So now when I actually do have a date I try to be a very vanilla and non-offending version that they might like.  The only problem is I then get anxiety because I become afraid that once the guy finds out that I'm sassy and tell dirty jokes that they will run for the hills and change their mind about me.

The only guys that have seen "Erin" in her true form are my guy friends from Milwaukee or guys that I work with at the station.  I've noticed that I'm totally myself around people at work, my friends (both guys and girls), and random people I meet.  I'm myself around pretty much everyone except guys that I'm trying to date.  I'm so scared that I won't be good enough or that I'll be too much for them to handle that I tense up.

I had a Jamba juice date with a guy recently and a guy at work asked me how it went.  When I told it that it went well, he responded back with, "Don't worry! You'll have another chance to scare him off."  And you know what; I think I did just that. Although, I'm not sure what I did. And trust me, I analyzed everything I said, did, and how I acted. To be honest, there's not one specific moment that I remember pissing my chances down my shorts.

I know some people are going to say, "Erin, don't change yourself to please others. There's someone out there that can handle all that you are." Yada yada yada...blah blah blah. I get that and I get that I maybe an acquired taste, but COME ON! I can't be that bad!! Or am I?  They say you should be true to yourself, but what if the real you is the reason why they don't stay?

SMH: SHAKING MY HEAD...AT MYSELF!

Do you ever have those moments where you just want to smack yourself upside the head for something you did? I had that moment where I wanted to shake myself like a crying baby for being a bit of an idiot. You're probably wondering what it is that made me have such a lapse in judgement. Actually, it's not something I did...more like something I let myself believe.

I'm not sure exactly how to explain it, but I guess I'm feeling a little bit like a stupid teenage girl.

I've been told I'm cynical. (No kidding right?) Although, lately I've been finding myself becoming a little more gullible. I'm falling in a trap where I'm actually believing something in my head, when it would probably never ever actually happen in the real world.

Here's a scenario that has happened several times and I still somehow fall for it. Say there's a guy that's giving me a little bit of attention. He sends flirty messages, possibly even a sassy text after a few drinks. He seems to be kinda interested yet, no moves are made.

I think most girls would be a little confused. Is he Interested? Does he just want to hookup? Whats going on here?

Well, I had tell myself then and when it still happens I have to remind myself that "You're probably not the only one he does this to so stop thinking you're so special."


Those nights where he's texting you...guess what? He probably sent the same text about snuggling to 3 others girls! You're not so special anymore.

The fact that he never really asks to hang out with you should've been another ginormous clue that "Hey!! The dude isn't really that interested!"

I've heard a saying, 'If he wanted to hang out with you, He would.' And as much as I would love to believe there is a lot of gray area there, I think that if man wants something he goes after it, and if he's not going after you it's probably because he doesn't want you...or at least not bad enough.

So, I just have to shake my head at myself for believing that that guy would ever like or date me. Its like high school Erin all over again. When Adam Stockman would talk to me in the hall and say something I perceived as flirty and thought maybe just maybe that he liked me! When in actuality I had some candy and he wanted a piece! (candy is not a metaphor for something. It's actually candy)

So, the next time I'm getting these cryptic messages that are semi-flirty in nature, somewhat generic, and it goes nowhere because he never does anything about it...I'll have to remind myself a few things. 1. He probably sent the same message to 3 chicks (at least) 2. If he wanted to see you he would. 3. He's probably just messing with you. So get over yourself because you ain't so special!

WHY DO I COMPARE MYSELF?

I wrote about comparing yourself to others several years ago.  I don't remember what I wrote, but I know that it's a bad habit of mine that I still have a hard time breaking.  I just did it again today in fact.  And when I did, it instantly made me sad.

You gotta love Facebook sometimes.  It's the perfect place for someone with any sort of insecurity about themselves to look around for 5 minutes and make themselves feel like poop.  What's even more pathetic, is that half the time you're looking around on people's FB pages not trying to feel worse. Then, it happens.  Someone pops in your head and you decide to go to their page.  Some might call it Facebook stalking. I call it scooping out the scenery or scoping out the competition.

Every girl does this. There's a guy that we're interested in....and....we ALWAYS look up THE ex.  We then sit there and compare ourselves to her.  (Are we prettier than her? Is she skinnier? What does she do for a living? How much money does she make? How big are her boobs? What color is her hair?) Most girls act like they are better than the ex, but I'm not like that unfortunately.

I may see something about myself that I think is better than her, but usually that doesn't work.  Because most times the ex still has the power over him.  I could be prettier, younger, funnier, with a cooler and better job, and not be a gold diggin' biatch, and yet I won't win.

I even compare myself to girls I don't know.  When I was in Milwaukee a couple of weeks ago for my birthday, my friend Melissa was telling me these stories about the girlfriends of her fiancés buddies.  They all sounded like bitches with the personality of a wet wash cloth and dead fishes in bed. Yet, these chicks had boyfriends hanging on their every word. Then there's me...who is funny, not a total bitch with the "skills"...aaaaannnnndddd NOTHING!

I compare all the time.  Sometimes I tell myself that I'm better, but a lot of times I tell myself that I'm not. Why do I do it?  How do I/you stop it? Can you ever stop it?  I know I shouldn't compare are myself, but it is something I've done since I was in elementary school.

BEING HUNG UP ON YOUR EX

I think everyone has someone that they are or were hung up on. Usually it's an ex. Sometimes it's someone that was a little more temporary, but for some reason you can't let them go. My theory is that we tend to be hung up on people that aren't good for us.

I've been guilty of being hung up on someone.  For the longest time I was hung up on Mr. Dallas.  Some may say I'm still hung up on him however, I disagree.  I think I was hung up on the feeling that the relationship gave me.  There were so many things that he did that made me feel special, appreciated, and loved.  I was just hoping that that wouldn't be the last time I felt it.

In the last several years I've met more and more guys that "seem" to be hung up on exes.  Since I can be a little cynical about "real" male feelings, I'm not totally sure how hung up they are, but whatever it is, they're too afraid to move forward with their lives.

I can understand that.  I was so hurt after my breakup with Mr. Dallas that I was paralyzed with fear.  Although, I felt as though I kept a pretty open mind that I may find someone again.  Then again, I'm still single and have my guard up a bit...or a lot depending on who you talk to.

OK...going back to the wounded boys. Who are these these women that hold their nuts hearts in their hands? Again, it's probably someone that isn't the right person for them, but for some reason these women have the power.  I don't get it.  I mean, I'd get it if these women had the cure to cancer, helped people, walked old ladies across the street...then I might understand.  However, all I hear is how they're money hungry, selfish, narcissistic,  bitchy, and sometimes lame in bed.  REALLY??? At least the guy I was hung up on sweet, affectionate, and liked to get it on!!!

Why do we let people hold onto our hearts when they don't want them? They aren't in our present for a reason.  Yet, we let them hold on to our future because we're scared, we're hurt, and we let them.

ARE YOU A NEXT STEPPER?

A friend of mine told me a story about this couple that has been talking about getting married. The couple has been though their ups and downs, but recently bought a house together despite not even being engaged.  The guy said that now that they have a house together that the "next step" is to get married.

That for some reason sat so wrong with me. I immediately chimed in with, "Wow so he's a next stepper!" My friend said, "I don't get it. What's that mean?"

I told her that basically it's not a matter if he really loves or thinks they're meant to be, but more of a matter that they've been together this long and are here at this point that they should just go with the next step and get married.

I just thought how I never wanted a man to think that way about me. I never want a man to marry me because he thinks that's the next step since we made it this far.

That might sound weird to some and some people might take offense or wonder what the big deal is, but I got married because I thought that was the next step and I was wrong.

I remember thinking that since we were dating for a few years and since he didn't beat me or anything that we should get married. Not realizing that we probably weren't really a match, but more of a couple that was together it wasn't bad enough.

As much as I'd love to find someone and make a life with them, I don't want to do it with someone that isn't a good match for me or I'm not a good match for him. I don't want the only reason we're together is because it's comfortable or convenient. And certainly not because it's the next step.

It has to be and feel right.

HOW DO YOU EVER FIND SOMEONE?

There's billions of people in the world.  There's millions of people here in Houston.  So with all the people out there how do yo ever find anyone that is the one for you?

As my birthday hits next week, I think back to my last serious relationship.  It ended right before my 30th birthday.  When I got the "dump speech" he made sure to tell me that I'd have no problem finding another guy. I think the moment those words came out of his mouth he jinxed me.  Since then, I've had a hard time finding someone that makes me feel anything.

When I look back, I never would've guessed that I would have this hard of a time finding someone.  Considering how easy some people make it look. Jumping from one relationship to the next. 

Sometimes when I think about where I maybe in 5 years and the possibility of still being single, I envision people asking me, "How come you're still single? How have you NEVER really dated anyone?" I imagine that my answer would be the same as if I were to give it right now.  'I'm single because it just never happened for me. I never met someone that I liked that ever really liked me back.'

I've lived here in Houston 3 years now and haven't dated anyone more than 2 months maybe 3. And that was when I first moved here.  Flash forward....and sitting still.

I meet people all the time because of work.  I go about and live my life. I hang out with my friends for dinners, drinks or brunch on a weekly basis. Yet, I rarely met anyone that I'm interested in. 

You always hear stories about fate bringing people together by a chance meeting.  Like the couple that met on a flight or at the airport. Or in line at the grocery store. I always end up sitting on the plane next to the fat guy taking half of my seat and in line behind the 80 year-old woman writing a check.  I just don't understand how I can meet someone.

Most times when I go on a date with someone or meet someone for the first time, I have the "ehh" feeling.  You know...the feeling that if I didn't go out with them again it wouldn't make a difference.  The feeling where I'm sitting across the table from a guy having awkward conversation thinking about am I even attracted to them at all.

I'd love to meet someone and feel the butterflies. You know...the za za zoo! Someone I have an instant connection with and have that feeling be mutual.  I want to meet someone where it just comes with ease to be in their company.  and someone I want to spend time with and have no problem putting them in my schedule.

How do you ever find that person? Is everyone better at it than I am? Or is everyone else looking at what's on paper vs. the feeling they get when they're with that person? 

In a world with so many people, why is it taking half of my life to find him? 

HOW DO YOU MEASURE YOUR SELF-WORTH?

I had a co-worker hand me a piece of paper with some words of wisdom from the "Skinny Bitch" calendar. It read: "Don't you f$@&ing dare measure your worth by the amount of attention or validation you get from men. It's nice to be appreciated, but it's not a necessity. Love yourself and your looks, even if no one else seems to. In time, your confidence and self-love will attract a winner." As much as this is true, it's easier said than done. I have a few thoughts and questions.

 I know that confidence is key. People are attracted to people that are confident. There's a lot of men that aren't that attractive, but are confident and somehow get the girl. (Probably because he's rich) So I know that if you display that, you'll have more people come your way...in theory.

 In the "Skinny Bitch" quote it says "love yourself and your looks, even if no one else seems to." That is a statement that I have a hard time with. I'm a person that's especially hard on myself. I pick myself apart constantly. It's not always in an "I'm so fat and ugly" way, it's more like I compare myself. I tell myself things that I shouldn't to ease the blow if someone rejects me. For instance, say there's a guy that I'm attracted to and he dates someone else, I down play myself. I'll say "Oh no wonder he didn't like you, you don't make enough money." or "Maybe you're not skinny enough for that guy."

 Here's the thing, I know I'm not hideous. I know I'm not obese. I know that I'm not some lame chick to hang out with. However, I don't sit there and tell myself how pretty I am, or how hot I look in an outfit. I know I'm not a 10, but I know I'm not a 5.

 The "even if no one else seems to" is the toughest part of that statement. I have to say that I don't get a ton of compliments. I've never been one of those girls that had guys fawn all over them or received a lot of male attention. I do get compliments here and there, but it's usually from guys I would NEVER date. I'll give you 2 examples.

 I had drinks with 2 different guys. Guy #1 is a guy I'd never date. I just don't find him attractive at all. He asked me what my dating situation was. I told him that there wasn't one. I had nothing going on and no guys were in the picture. He just couldn't believe it. He started going off about how I should have guys all over me and blah blah blah. I kind of blew him off and dismissed his comments. Actually, it was kind of upsetting me because he's making such a production about how I should have guys from here to next Tuesday. When in actuality, the only guys that ever say that to me are guys like him.

 Now for the 2nd guy. He's very attractive. I think over the course of us having a few drinks he might've said one thing that could be perceived as a compliment. When he sort of asked about my guy situation, not once did he say "oh you're gorgeous you should have guys all over you." He just moved on from it. Granted, he did give me the comment that was semi-complimentary, but in no way did he sit there and start going off about it and fawn all over me.

 It just made me feel like, am I only attractive to guys that are not attractive? Is every guy that I find attractive not attracted to me? Do guys that I find attractive are they not the type of guy that will give a compliment?

 I guess what I'm trying to say is, It's hard to sit there and tell yourself that you're such an awesome package and have this great self esteem, when the only guys that seem to think you're so great are guys that resemble a garden gnome. 

Think about it, if you're on match.com and the only guys that ever seem to wink or send you an email are the guys that look like this guy...



What would you start telling yourself? Let me tell you, your self-esteem does take a hit. I wish I could say I was stronger than that, but I'm not going to lie. It kinds screws with ya.

 Especially when the guys you do find attractive seems to pass you by or just look at you as a friend or that cool chick that works on the radio.

How do you get/keep a healthy self image when most of what you attract is guys like that guy? <---------------

FOR YOUR CONSIDERATION

Has there ever been someone that you've been intrigued by or interested in, but had no idea where you stand in their mind? You're not sure if they're interested at all or if they've put in you in the "Friend Zone."

I've been in that situation. There was a guy that I guess you can say I was friends with. He's is someone that I found extremely attractive. We didn't hang out a lot, but we would text every once in awhile to keep in touch. I had drinks with him and got caught up on stuff. You know the usual. We talked about jobs, dating, his ex, my ex...blah blah blah. As I sat there listening to his stories I couldn't help having a voice in my head ask questions. "Why is this guy hanging out with you? Does he find you attractive? Does he think of you as just a friend? Are you just like one of the guys?" These were all questions I had spinning in my head for the rest of the night. I remember leaving that night saying to myself, "What just happened?"

Most of the conversation was two people sharing stories and sharing opinions. There was a little bit of flirty talk, but nothing that was obvious as to indicate if he was interested or not.

One thing that I remember was when he talked about his ex. She really did a number on him. Despite the fact that he broke up with her, he still kind of missed her. Almost like if she promised to change her ways he'd take her back. However, I think if that ever happened, it would be because it was convenient and comfortable for her.

After hearing about her and some other people he dated a little, I couldn't help but feel a little sad. Like "What is it about these chicks that he'd date them, but not me? Why are they so special?" That's when I had the voice in my head start asking about being in the fabulous "friend zone."

What did I want from him? I'm not sure. I do know that I want a lasting relationship. Was I wanting that from him? Not necessarily. I think I just wanted him to consider me as someone he'd date. He didn't need to make me his girlfriend or anything. I would've liked to be an option as a person he could possibly date. Someone that he could see potential in dating vs. a girl he just wanted to bang. Or a girl that he considered to be a good girl friend, but that's it. "Oh Erin? She's just a cool chick."

I guess I would've liked the chance to see what could happen. Especially, after hearing stories about how he got screwed over, it would've been nice to prove that I was not the typical girl he was used to. I mean who wouldn't want to be considered? Do you want to be the last kid picked on the playground for that kickball team?

FINDING YOUR VALUE

There are times in your life where you need to take inventory.  You need to take inventory on the people in your life, on the things you spend your money on, on what you do with your time, etc.  Sometimes you just need to take inventory on your life, period.

I've been having that feeling lately.  In the past, I'd get the feeling to take inventory about every 2 years.  It usually would happen when I'd feel the need for a change. Most times it was triggered because of my job.  I'd sit and analyze where my life was going.  I'd ask myself, "Is this all there is for me? Where is my life going? What is out there for me?" 

What triggered it for me this time wasn't because I was wanting a new job, but it did come up because of work.  Something happened out of my control that made me question my own value. Let me explain.

For years I've been writing this blog.  It was something that I really wrote for myself and my own release.  Last year, I started reading my blog on HOT 95.7 with The Hot Show every Thursday morning.  I liked doing it because it made me feel recognized and a part of something.

You see, when I first moved here to Houston I was doing morning radio.  Mornings was a way that I felt I could be myself and express myself in radio.  Although, the situation I came into may not have been the best fit for me.  Things changed and I went to mid-days. Which is great! I get to sleep in a little and I still have a great job, but I don't have much of an opportunity to show "Erin."

When I started doing the Thursday blog on HOT, I felt valuable again.  Not only was I being recognized for my thoughts and personality, but I felt valuable because I was needed in another area.  Not only was I the midday girl on KILT but I did a segment on our sister station.  I felt wanted.

Then a couple of weeks ago my segment was cut. Our boss said he thought the segment was "good," but he wanted "great."  Suddenly I knew what it felt like to be an actor and have their character killed off on a show. It's not necessarily because you suck or are bad, but they just want to change things.

Even though I understood, I was still bummed. I started to get that feeling where I evaluate my importance. It may sound weird to some, but I felt that the more things I did, the more valuable I was.  Now I'm back to being a midday girl and am questioning my value and how important I am.  I wonder. Will there be something down the road to make me feel more of an asset? 

They say that when one door closes another one opens, but I just don't know what door can open that will use my talent and make me feel as if I have value and purpose.  I guess you never know what's around the corner or what the universe and God have in store for you.  I'll just keep chugging along and keep doing what I do and hope that it all works out the way it supposed to.

DO PEOPLE THINK ABOUT YOU

I don't know what triggers these moments, but I sit and go down memory lane. I think of the people that I've met over my life.  I had one of those moments over the weekend.  Maybe subconsciously I was feeling lonely and thinking of the times when I felt wanted.  I sat there and thought of guys I dated to the guys that I wanted to date, but didn't. My memory took me back all the way back to high school.  A time that was a lot more innocent and I was a lot more naive.

One person popped into my head because I met someone that went to the same college as them.  It's someone that I hadn't thought of in years. Then other people started popping in my head. As I sat there and filed through my memories, I wondered how these people were.  What ever happened to them? What did they make of themselves? I even went as far to see if I could find anything thing out about them or if they were on Facebook.

I found one person and saw that they look pretty much the same and seem to be during pretty good.  I decided to I send them an email to say hello.  I kept it brief and just explained who I was in case they didn't remember me.  Much to my surprise they did remember me.  Although, not sure how well they remember me.

While reflecting on my past, both old and more recent,  I couldn't help but want to know if anyone ever thought me.  If they ever do, do they get a smile on their face? Do they ever wonder what happened to me and want to know what I made of myself? Do they ever wish things might've been different or are sorry for how things turned out? Are they sad or happy that I'm not around?

I think about people all the time.  Certain people I think about more than others.  There's even a few people that I think about almost everyday. There are times when I reach out to let them know, but most of the time I am too afraid of what will happen if I do. What if I call and they don't remember me?  Or what if they don't want to speak to me?


Although some my memories were foggy and some were more painful, all of them were filled with a curiosity.  A curiosity if I made an impact on anyone's life and their memory.

10 SIGNS YOU'RE WITH THE WRONG PERSON

I got an email from Eharmony the other day that had a bunch of articles abut dating in it.  The once that jumped at me right away was one that doesn't even relate to me. I mean, you and I both know that I'm not dating anyone. Yet, for some reason I thought I should read it; if nothing else I thought I could use it in the future possibly.

Here is the nuts and bolts of the article with added commentary from yours truly.


10. You Feel Like You Can't Be Yourself

This has been a big one for me in the past. It all started with Mr. Dallas critiquing what I would say around his friends and co-workers. Or how I would address his parents. That definitely made a mark on me.

Since then, there's only been a handful of guys that made me feel like I was able to be myself. The guys that have critiqued me have made me feel when I meet someone knew that I need to give a much more reserved  version of myself in hopes that they'll like me or I won't get rejected.

9. You're Not happy

Everyone knows that you need to find happiness within yourself. However, your partner should at least be able to make your day a little nicer. If you're finding yourself more unhappy with them than without, that's probably not a good sign.

8. They Exhaust You

You're not exhausted from having such a great time with them; you're exhausted from them personally.  Everytime you hang out with them they complain about something or everything.  They have a negative outlook and are being a complete "Debbie Downer."

7. The Friend Factor

You've been with this person for a decent amount of time and yet you've never introduced this person to your friends.  Or for that matter, he's never introduced you to his friends. Either way, it's not a good sign.

6. You Never Envision The Future Together

After you've been together awhile it's natural to make plans for the future.  Whether it's a trip together or a bigger step.  If you've been together for a considerable amount of time and can't see them as a part of your future, you may want to reexamine what you want out of this relationship.

5. You Are Like Yin And Yang

This has been a tough one for me.  I'm a person that like to go to bed early and get up early and start my day. I've met a lot of guys that like to stay up all night and do God know what. Or they like to start their evening late when they go out.

I like to get out of the house and do things. Whether it's going to lunch or taking a trip, I like to stay busy.  My ex-husband liked to stay home all weekend and swiffer the house. Sure, the house was clean, but I was getting cabin fever just sitting in the house never going anywhere.

When you have fundamental differences it will make things harder.

4.  You Are Not Excited To See Or Hear From Them

It seems pretty obvious, but you'd be surprised on how many of us have stayed in situations we're not fulfilled in because we're too scared to be alone.

Granted, every moment together isn't going to be puppies and flowers, but in general you should be happy to be with them.

3. You Don't Feel Good About Yourself


We all can have doubts and  insecurities from time to time.  When you're in a good relationship you should have a good self esteem.  When you are around the person you're dating it should make you feel good not worse. You shouldn't be second guessing yourself and your relationship when you're in a good relationship.

Also, if you're with someone that cuts you down or seems to make you feel worse in situations, then you need to stand up for yourself. To me it's a form of abuse.

2. The Cons Of Staying Together Outweighs The Pros


If you're feeling like you're on the fence whether to stay together or not, put together a list of all the positives to staying together.  Then come up with a list of all the negatives on staying together.  Go over the lists and try and determine if the reasons to stay are better than the reasons to go.


1. Your Instincts Are Telling You - Get OUT!!


We all have an inner voice in us.  I know I've heard that inner voice in the past.  It's the voice that told me that I wasn't being treated the way I should.  It's the voice that told me that I wasn't getting the love that I needed and there had to be something better out there for me.

We all deserve to be happy and loved. Go and find that someone that will appreciate, love and make you happy. Find someone that makes you feel good about yourself.

ARE YOU ALWAYS SECOND BEST TO THE "BABY MAMA?"

The older we get, the more of us are having kids. And with the way things are going in our society, many of us become divorced with kids. Frankly, past the age of 30 there's more and more of that.

So how does it work when dating a person with kids? There's a few things that I wonder about.

Say I meet a guy that has a couple kids with another woman. We start dating and things become serious. In his heart and mind are you always second best when it comes to the baby mama?

For instance, a couple that was together for years and then gets a divorce or whatever, is the woman that he ends up with him next never as good as the woman that gave him children?  Does the mother of his kids always place number 1 in his heart?  What if the relationship ended horribly?

The reason I ask this is because I've never really known if I wanted kids. When I was married I didn't want them with him. Mr. Dallas on the other hand, I thought he would've made a great dad; but since him, I haven't really dated anyone long enough to even go and think of kids. So I haven't.

Nor have I really dated a guy with kids.  Typically, I've shied away from it because I've always felt there was going to be more drama then I wanted to deal with, or frankly, deserved to deal with. However, the years are ticking away, and it's becoming more and more apparent that I may meet a guy with kids one of these days. And then what?

(Side Note: Kids to me are a huge decision and if I ever had them I'd want a partner that would be a great parent and be there…period.  Kids are not something I take lightly.  They are for the rest of your life.  And I refuse to have kids with just anyone and do it part-time.  I want the father of my kids (if I ever were to have them) to be best man I've ever met.  Because I'll be connected to them forever.  I don't want to be connected to some douche just to get my 2.5 children. )

Back on topic here...

I know that for the most part you're always gonna hold a place in your heart for people that once meant a lot to you.  The mother of your children should.  However, I think most women want to be with a man and have them think of her as the "greatest love of his life."  No one wants to go into a relationship with anyone where their heart is with someone else. 

So when the man finds someone new, does the new woman have an uphill battle when it comes to his love? Is she ever going to mean much to him? Or does the mother of the kids always rank first?  

HOW LONG HAVE YOU GONE WITHOUT "IT?"

And what I mean by the word "IT" is sweet loving, the horizontal mambo, you know...bumpin' uglies.  Well, as much as I hate to admit this, it's been awhile for me.  Yeah! I'm starting to feel like I might be growing some cobwebs pretty soon.

We all have our dry spells, but what's the longest you've gone without it? Currently I'm at 5 months.  And prior to that it was a couple months at least.  This isn't my longest dry spell for sure. However, it's well on it's way to be that way.

After Mr. Dallas and I broke up it was at least 6 months before I think that men were even attractive.  I was so hurt from that break up that the last thing I wanted to do was to be with a guy.  After that break up I even got off birth control because I knew I wasn't going to get any action for awhile.

Now, I'm at a decent dry spell that has no end in sight.  I have no guys in rotation or even a possible date. Granted, I know it could be worse. I'm sure my dry spell of 5 months is nothing.  Even my longest dry spell is child's play compared to some people's.   I'm starting to wonder when will it end, When will the dry spell be over?  

I know some people will say, "Oh you're a girl. You can get laid anytime you want."  Sure that maybe true. However, I'm not interested in one night stands.  And I'll be perfectly honest, usually the sex in those situations is not beneficial for the woman anyway.  At one point, I hadn't had an orgasm from sex in over a year because what I had be getting wasn't good.  So if all I'm going to get is exercise out of it, I'd rather hit the gym.  At least I know I won't get pregnant or a disease from doing squats.

I'm not sure how long it will be before it the no lovin' fest will be, but it's not about quantity it's about quality. Maybe one these days I can sing this song.

MEN SHOULD CRY MORE

Some people have said that I'm a "manhater" or that I'm bitter about guys. That may or may not be true, but there is one thing that I think would help the male species a little more...and that is crying.

I was watching "Dancing With The Stars" the other night and they featured a man that was a pro dancer but had a brain hemorrhage and wasn't able to dance, or even walk anymore. After extensive therapy he was able to dance again. His first "in public" performance was on 'DWTS' and when he finished he cried as the audience cheered for him.

It was that very moment when I realized that men in this country should bare their souls more.

When I saw that man on 'DWTS' cry, I almost started crying myself. I immediately felt for him more and felt as though he was more human. That may not make any sense to some, but so many men don't act as if anything affects them. And to see this man be so touched that he started crying was almost kind of beautiful.

Too many times things in life happen when guys just shove it under a rug. They show no emotion what so ever. Like when I got divorced. He acted as though "Next please!"

It would've been nice to see him kind of act like he gave a shit. Granted, he didn't have to act like he wanted me back, but at least he could've acted like that being divorced was going to be a little tough. Does that make sense? I just wanted to see that he kind of cared a little.

On the funny side, imagine if men started crying more all the stuff they could get out of it! Think of all the stuff that chicks get out of with crying.

For instance, getting out of speeding tickets. Could you imagine a cop rolling up to a dudes window and the guy is balling his eyes out? If I were the cop I'd let him go. Or maybe when your boss yells at you. If I were the boss I'd probably go easier on the guy.

Lastly, if guys cried more think of what they could get from their ladies. Maybe a little more sweet love making. Maybe a couple wouldn't fight as much.

This may all be a little far fetched for some, but if men maybe started showing a softer side and became a little more emotional, maybe they would no longer be thought of as dicks all the time.

DO I FREAK GUYS OUT?

I've always described myself as "an acquired taste," but I never thought I was that much of an "acquired taste" till just recently.

In the two and a half years of living here in Houston my dating life has been on life support. Part of the reason is because I've been pretty burnt out on dating, but when I do have enough cajones to date I think I freak guys out.

I've always thought that guys deep down want a girl that craps out rainbows, never swears, and acts like the damsel in distress. All of which are things that I don't act like. I say what's on on my mind, cuss like a sailor, and have no problem doing things without your help.

A few weeks ago I had a couple first dates and one of those dates I can say I could tell that he couldn't wait until he was out of there.

I will say I was pretty much myself. Granted, I didn't sit there and tell him penis jokes or anything, but I was very comfortable on being my authentic self.

I'm not sure at what point I freaked the guy out. All I know is at the end of the date it couldn't have been more clear to me that I was NOT getting a call for a second date.

"Wait Erin, how could you tell?" Well, let me tell ya! The first hint was the "side hug" that he gave me when we were saying goodbyes. A guy that gives you a side hug never wants to go out with you ever again.

My next clue was when we were walking towards our cars he was 10 feet in front of me already at his car waving goodbye and I wasn't even close to my car. Yeah, take a minute and visualize how that went down. It's another massive clue that he is never going to call me again!

As I replay parts of that night back in my mind I can't think of why I'd freak him out exactly. I know that I was a bit chatty, but that's who I am. However, I thought I was pretty good at asking questions.

I know my job and blog freak guys out. Although he seemed rather interested in my job. So not sure what freaked him out. It could've been that or a combination of anything.

All I know is that after dates like that I overanalyze everything I do and did, then convince myself that it must be something about me that is keeps these guys running to their cars after our date.

"I LOVE YOU" 3 WORDS THAT CAN RUIN RELATIONSHIPS

This may come off as weird, but hear me out. The 3 words "I love you" are very powerful words. They are 3 little words that most women crave to hear. They are 3 words that make or break a relationship. In my opinion, they break the relationship as soon as they are uttered from one's lips.



In the early stages of a relationship "I love you" has yet to be said. At some point one or the other person is going to say it. For instance, if the girl says it first and the guy doesn't say it back, things in that relationship are never the same. Even if he says it back because he feels he has to, the guy looks at that relationship in a whole new light. He'll probably become distant and start back off.

Then there's the guy that says it first. He's the guy that says it first and then never says it again. You become the girl that now always says it first only to hear him say "I love you too." (Listen you idiot! I'm tired of saying it first...so maybe just maybe...you can say it sometime...and say it first!)

Then you have the guy that says "I love you," but says it all the time. And says it like it's the period on the end of his sentence. For instance, here's a conversation that I had once with my ex. Him: "What are we having for dinner?" Me: I don't know. What do you think about chicken marsala?" Him: "Yeah that sounds good. OK, Love you." (click) Gee, not feeling the love on that one. Nope, not at all.



When someone says "I love you" all the time and then never does anything or says anything else to show you that they love you, when they do say it at the end of a sentence it makes those 3 little words become rather meaningless.

I'm not saying that people shouldn't say "I love you." I wish I had someone saying that to me. What I am saying is, is that those 3 little words change the dynamic of the relationship. They change it for better or worse. And when it changes it for the better, you have to pay extra attention that you don't take it for granted.

IS DOUCHEY THE NEW NORMAL?

Many times when my friends and I get together and talk about dating horror stories the phrase "Where are the normal guys?" is uttered. I'm starting to believe that the weirdos and douche bags we're finding are the new normal.



You may wonder "How many different kinds of douche bags are there?" The stereotypical douche bag is the guy you'd find on Washington Ave. He's freshly spray tanned and is wearing either a tight shirt with wings on it or some v-neck 2 sizes too small. Oh, let's not forget about his Louie or Gucci belt. Then there's the guys that just behave like douche bags. Whether it's boning lots of chicks or sending girls pics of their wang.

Let's talk about the second dude for a moment. I know we've talked about people sending naked pics before, but this is just about the guys that do it. I thought that this was abnormal behavior, but now I'm starting to think that so many guys do it and it's the new normal.

For instance, I had never received a wang picture until about about 6 months ago. It was from a guy I "dated" in Milwaukee and hadn't spoke to in almost a year. Then, bam there's and picture of his wang. It happened to me a couple of months ago with another guy I "dated."



A friend of mine is on match.com and 3 out of the 5 guys that she's talked with (keep in mind, she didn't even go on dates with these dudes) have sent her pictures of their wang and one even sent a video of him playing with themselves. WTF? Is this the new normal? Does everyone send masturbating videos?

When I was at the hair salon today, my stylist was telling me that she has a client who is 65 and on match.com. This lady is a grandma and men that are her age are sending pics of their wang. Frickin EWWWW. Who wants a pic of a 65 + yr old penis?

OK OK enough with the winky pic talk. Douchey behavior goes beyond that. It's dating 4 chicks at once. It's cheating. It's any man behaving badly action. The question is, are there so many men behaving badly that it's become the new normal? Are the guys that once "normal" so out numbered that instead of saying I want a "normal" guy I need to start saying I want a "weird" guy?

Where did all the normal guys go? Are there no normal guys anymore?

WHERE DO YOU FIND PEOPLE TO DATE?

How many times have you heard from your friends that are married or with somebody all their suggestions on where you should go to meet someone? The grocery store, church, a charity function is what they say. What they don't tell you is that more than likely none of these places are where they met their mate. So, where are you supposed to go and meet people anymore, besides the Internet??

I started thinking about this after an encounter at the store the other day. I was doing some bargain shopping at Ross when a guy said, "Excuse me." I was a little startled and started thinking "What in the world is this guy going to ask me? Is he going to ask me for money? Does he need help?" I had no earthly idea and I'm sure he could tell by the weird look my face might've been making. He then said, "Can I give you my phone number? You can use it if you want or you don't have to, but I would like to take you out. I think you're beautiful."


UHHHH What? Wow! That's not what I was expecting at all! Again, I'm not sure what I was expecting, but not that. I awkwardly started scrambling for something to write with because I had no idea what to do. I got his number even though he's not really my type and walked away thinking about that whole scenario.

First thing I thought was, "Wow that took some serious balls to come up to me and say that." Next thing I thought was, "I appreciate him offering his number instead of asking for mine." It made the whole thing less awkward. Lastly, I admired his confidence. It also had me thinking, "Boy, you never see men do that anymore."

When is the last time you had a guy approach you like that? Anytime I've had something similar happen it's been where a guy walks up to you and asks for your number and makes you feel on the spot. That guy giving his number and then having the confidence to say, "I'd like to give you my number and you can you it or you don't have to." was a nice change.

On my way home I started thinking, 'Where do people meet anymore?' How do you ever find someone besides online, at work, at a bar, or at school?

Let's see, I'm not in school. So that's out. Although, I guess I could go back for a few classes. There's not a single person that I work with that I'd ever want to see naked, so that's out. Every guy I've met at a bar has never turned into anything that's lasting or meaningful. (Not saying that it can't happen, just saying the odds are stacked pretty high against you.) So, online is what I have left. Well, not to pour salt on my own wound, but since Mr. Dallas and I broke up over what...4-5 years ago? I've pretty much been on match.com, jdate.com, pof.com, eharmony.com... (just about every dating website known to man) for about 4 years. So far, not a ton of luck.




I'll admit that I'm shy when it comes to approaching guys I'm interested in. Usually I try to crack some joke because I'm nervous and then it goes down in flames. Or they have a girlfriend, or they hit on my friend after I walk away. (that happens a lot)

Where do you meet anyone anymore? I wish I could say the gym, but it hasn't worked for me. I wish I could say church, but I'm sure God doesn't want me using his house as a meat market. I wish I could say a charity event, but those guys usually come with their WIVES!!!!

Where have all the single people gone? According to this map...there are a lot of men in Houston and Texas in general. WTH? (they're probably are all into blonds)

AM I BITTER?

The other day I had an interview for a dating reality show. No it wasn't for "The Bachelor." In the interview they asked me about my past relationships and what my dating life is like now. One question that stuck with me after all my story telling was, "Erin are you hopeful about love or do you think you're just bitter?' Ouch!! That stung a little. However, it made think. Actually it made me paranoid. I starting wondering what I come off like to people.

I'll admit, there is a part of me that is bitter. Although, there are several other parts of me too. Let's start with the positive.

I am hopeful about finding love. I mean, why in the world would I still keep looking? I still keep trying. I still throw my money down for my match.com membership. I still look for an attractive guy when I'm out. Granted, My tenacity has faded, but I still keep hoping and praying to sweet baby Jesus that all my effort isn't in vain. Hell, I still write about love in this blog. If I'd given up all hope on love I'd probably start writing a blog about knitting sweaters.

I'm part cynical. I've seen too many of my friends and heard too many stories where girls were cheated on or where the was some shadiness going on. I guess I think I'm no better than they are. So why wouldn't that happen to me? Maybe the other part that makes me cynical is I've been friends with a lot of boys that behave badly and know how they treat girls.

I'm scared. I'm absolutely petrified that if I let someone in that they'll just hurt me. That's actually a reoccurring dream I've had for years. I remember when I was married having a dream where my ex would do something to hurt me and when I would confront him about he wouldn't care. I had that dream a lot over that course of the marriage. When I dated Mr. Dallas I didn't start getting that dream until the end of our relationship.

Since I haven't had a long term relationship in years I haven't had the dream a lot. It's happened a few times, but usually the person is faceless.

Now, I'm sure there are a few people reading this thinking, "Wow this girl sounds like a hot mess!" And I'm sure there is a t least one person reading this that is saying, "I totally get it. You sound just like me." Whatever way you perceive me, know that there are many layers.

My bitter side. I have some bitterness towards my ex husband. It started when one of the reasons I wanted to get separated was because he pretty much stopped having sex with me. Then he immediately started banging some young college girl that worked at Old Navy. (Maybe he wanted the discount.) That made me bitter.

After my divorce I wanted to find love again and maybe get married again someday. I found it for a bit but it didn't last and I found myself back at square one. Since then I haven't a relationship last more than a few months, while my ex husband has gotten remarried and has a family. Mr. Dallas has been in one serious relationship after another and for all I know he could be engaged. Things that both of them told me they didn't want, but now have or are well on their way and I'm no closer to it than the day we split. My bitterness is because I don't understand why. Why do they have something that I want when they acted like they never wanted it, yet I want it and can't seem to find it to save my life?

It just doesn't seem fair and I have a hard time with that. So, am I bitter? Maybe. I am I hopeful? Yes. Am I scared? Yes. Am I fearful that I may never find true love and that there isn't someone out there for me? Yes. Without a doubt. Does the long wait to find him make me impatient and sometimes doubtful. Yes. And that long wait combined with past experience makes me a probably bitter about love. Although, I'm still gonna try and find it.

In the meantime, let's enjoy a good bitter bitch song.

ARE WOMEN ALL CRAZY?

If you were to ask a man of course he'd say yes. Men think anything with a vagina is crazy. And I'll say that we can get a little wacky at times, but I also think that most times woman act crazy it's because a guy made them that way. Kind of like the Miranda Lambert song 'Baggage Claim' that has the lyrics, "Behind every woman scorned is a man who made her that way."


If you're a single woman and have tried dating a guy that's been married before or has children, he'll say that the woman in question woman is crazy. In fact, I think most men married in the past or not will say that one of their exes is crazy. Why is that? Has it never crossed one man's mind that the reason she may be a tad bit wacky is because of him?

So many times men have a "ehh it's not important" type of attitude. When women are the types of people that like the details. If only men would pay a little more attention to detail, then we wouldn't be so crazy or be such nags. What's so funny to me is that when we hear from a guy that his ex is crazy, we automatically agree with him. Instead of waiting to see what her side is.

I know that when I went through my divorce it was the first time in my life where i ever experienced panic attacks. I felt as though I couldn't catch my breath. Like my head was spinning. It sucked. However, I never felt as though I was out of control. I just felt frustrated because I couldn't understand what went wrong and why he had such a "screw you" attitude.

Women have a tendency to get more emotional when it come to the end of a relationship. Especially when we're the one getting dumped. Men move on and move forward, but women sit and wonder what we did wrong. We sometimes obsess.



HERE'S THE THING THOUGH.

Despite the fact, that women can act a little wacky and obsess about things; why is it that men are the ones that commit most crimes and are the most violent offenders when it comes to crime? Why is it that men are typically serial killers?


I'm not saying that all men are whack jobs and are serial killers. However, if every guy can declare every woman "crazy" then every woman can call every man...._________fill in the blank.


Why is it that men can have such irrational behavior, (i.e. marrying a woman half their age) and it's all looks pasted and not discussed.

Point is, men and worn are equal whack jobs and are equally crazy. Yet, for some reason women are the ones that get the bad rap. Although, I think most men would say that's because we bled for 5 days and don't die.

I WISH I HAD A REAL MAGIC 8 BALL

We've all seen the magic 8 ball that you shake to get the answer to your question. Usually you ask it a question about your future. Most of the time girls ask about relationships. And most of the time we shake that thing until we get the answer that we like. So what if you had a REAL magic 8 ball that could tell you REALLY what you future was? What would you ask?

I have 3 things that I would ask about. Like everyone I'd ask "Will I ever find love with a real human being? Will I find lasting love?"




People tell you, me, and everyone that once you stop looking for it you'll find it. People say that there's someone out there for you and you'll find them when God thinks you're ready. OK. first of all, not true. If that were the case, why do some people go from relationship to relationship? Because God thinks their ready??? Sorry not buying it. Maybe he'll bring the "right' one into my life when he thinks I'm ready, but I'd like to know if he'll ever think I'm ready. Can I ask the magic 8 ball that question?

People tell me that I worry too much about being single for the rest of my life. That may partially be true, but I think that if I knew that one day I would find love I wouldn't sit here and constantly wonder if I'll be lonely for the rest of my life or wonder what I'm doing wrong that I can't find anyone. I'd like to know that eventually it'll alright.

On the flipside, if the magic 8 ball told me that I would indeed live a life of singleness till I'm old and gray I'd go out and make the most of it. Of course after the initial shock and sadness wore off, I'd be out there enjoying every meaningless man I could find. That and I'd stop putting things in my life on hold because I wanted to have someone else to share it with or do it with. I'd go out there and just do it all.

My next magic 8 ball question would be, "Will I ever be successful in my career? Or Will I ever feel like I've arrived?"




I'm not sure if I'm looking for one definitive moment or just the overall feeling in general. I know that money plays a part to the measure of my success. Not that I make bad money know, but it's not comfortable enough for me for have a sizable savings account.

My last question for the magic 8 ball is "Will I be financially secure or will I always be struggling?




Growing up poor is something that gave me character and an appreciation for the underdog, but it's not something I want for myself or my possible family in the future. I'd love to be able to buy my own place. (Especially if the magic 8 ball tells me that I'll always be single.)

Knowing the future can be a scary thing to some. And trust me when I say I don't want to all my future, but I'd like to know that the things I worry about the most will turn out alright. So if you had a magic 8 ball what would you ask?

IS ONLINE DATING GOING TO BE THE END FOR ME?

About a month ago I decided to get back on match.com. Well, I was always on there, but hadn't really given any thought or hadn't been a paying member for about a year. After not having much luck with dating on my own I decided that I wasn't getting any younger and that I needed to see if the 10th time would be a charm. Not to mention, the guys that I've met over that year's time were a constant reminder of the book "He's Just Not That Into You." Because well...they weren't that into me.

I'll be honest, In my month of being on match.com I'm starting to get rather disappointed. I've had 1 date and a lot winks from dudes that are about 55 years old and look as if they haven't seen a shower, razor, or their toes in about 7 years. Needless to say, I'm starting to wonder if God is playing a horrible joke on me.

The 1 date I did have was fine. Nothing bad, but nothing super fantastic either. I think some of his actions prior to our date made it hard for me to consider him as a match for me. (We'll get to that in another blog) The thing is, after that date I got a little gun shy to date more. Every time a date goes down in flames, so to speak, I wonder if I'm ever going to find anyone.

What's more frustrating is the times when I actually have the balls to wink or email a guy myself, I don't seem to get any response back. Or if I do get a response back they email back once and then vanish and aren't to be heard from again. I'm starting to feel like the 55 year old men that I don't respond to. Or the guy that hasn't seen his toes in years. Am I that hideous that that's the reason I'm not getting any responses?

I don't understand. Is God testing my patience? Because if he is...it'd be nice if he'd throw me a bone here and there. I've always kind of thought it, but I'm really starting to think that there really is something that makes me undateable. Or is God trying to tell me that the man of my dreams is in his 50's and smells like KFC? What is wrong with me?

I'm going to try to keep my head up and hope that at the end of all these frogs there's going to be one great prince. If not, then I'm going to need a few more vibrators...and batteries!

Best of luck on our quest for love.