I had started talking to a guy back in March or so. After texting and meeting up for drinks a couple of times he told me that he wasn't wanting to date anyone serious right now. Well...OK then! We were still friends, but it was more like friends that would mess around here and there. Like a total idiot I liked him and hoped that he'd change his mind.
Eventually, I grew tired of being the girl that he would say "Hi" to and would only want to hang out with maybe once a month. I felt as though I was wasting my time on someone that didn't appreciate me or give a crap about me as a person. So I stopped talking to him. I'm not really sure what he thought of me. I do think he thought I had some good qualities and I had things that he liked in someone, but I'm not sure if in his mind he looked at me as that chick he can text if he had no other options. By the amount I heard from him and saw him...it's probably a safe bet that that's how he thought of me. I feel like I was just a girl on the list.
Coming to terms with the notion that that's probably how he felt about me hurt a lot. I second guessed my worth and my value. I wondered if I'd ever find someone that appreciates me. I got mad at myself for taking the scraps for as long as I did. I even sat down and wrote a list of my good and bad qualities. Some of my guy friends helped a lot and shared what they thought were some of my good qualities, even some bad ones too. They thought of things I wouldn't have. They helped me see all the things that I bring to the table that this guy didn't care about. My guy friends also helped me realize that I wasn't getting treated well and that I deserved better.
Then, not long after I stopped talking to that guy, I met someone else. This guy was super nice and he asked me out on dates...REAL DATES! He seemed genuinely interested and you know what else? He actually gave me compliments and told me how pretty I was. WHAT???? This is crazy! (I don't think the other guy ever paid me a genuine compliment.) I'm not going to lie, I was wondering at first if there was something wrong with him because he seemed so interested. He'd tell me that he like to see me again and he'd actually follow through and take me dinner!
It's crazy to think that I'm the same person and have been myself with both of these guys, yet the one guy could have frickin cared less and treated me like I really didn't matter. Then the other guy enjoys hanging out with me and wants to get to know me as a person. How can two people treat you so differently?
It really is like what the one guy didn't care to have, the other is happy to have found it. It also just goes to show you that there IS someone who will appreciate you. It may not always work out, but it can at least give you hope and let you know it can happen.