Wednesday, May 30, 2012


I got an email from Eharmony the other day that had a bunch of articles abut dating in it.  The once that jumped at me right away was one that doesn't even relate to me. I mean, you and I both know that I'm not dating anyone. Yet, for some reason I thought I should read it; if nothing else I thought I could use it in the future possibly.

Here is the nuts and bolts of the article with added commentary from yours truly.

10. You Feel Like You Can't Be Yourself

This has been a big one for me in the past. It all started with Mr. Dallas critiquing what I would say around his friends and co-workers. Or how I would address his parents. That definitely made a mark on me.

Since then, there's only been a handful of guys that made me feel like I was able to be myself. The guys that have critiqued me have made me feel when I meet someone knew that I need to give a much more reserved  version of myself in hopes that they'll like me or I won't get rejected.

9. You're Not happy

Everyone knows that you need to find happiness within yourself. However, your partner should at least be able to make your day a little nicer. If you're finding yourself more unhappy with them than without, that's probably not a good sign.

8. They Exhaust You

You're not exhausted from having such a great time with them; you're exhausted from them personally.  Everytime you hang out with them they complain about something or everything.  They have a negative outlook and are being a complete "Debbie Downer."

7. The Friend Factor

You've been with this person for a decent amount of time and yet you've never introduced this person to your friends.  Or for that matter, he's never introduced you to his friends. Either way, it's not a good sign.

6. You Never Envision The Future Together

After you've been together awhile it's natural to make plans for the future.  Whether it's a trip together or a bigger step.  If you've been together for a considerable amount of time and can't see them as a part of your future, you may want to reexamine what you want out of this relationship.

5. You Are Like Yin And Yang

This has been a tough one for me.  I'm a person that like to go to bed early and get up early and start my day. I've met a lot of guys that like to stay up all night and do God know what. Or they like to start their evening late when they go out.

I like to get out of the house and do things. Whether it's going to lunch or taking a trip, I like to stay busy.  My ex-husband liked to stay home all weekend and swiffer the house. Sure, the house was clean, but I was getting cabin fever just sitting in the house never going anywhere.

When you have fundamental differences it will make things harder.

4.  You Are Not Excited To See Or Hear From Them

It seems pretty obvious, but you'd be surprised on how many of us have stayed in situations we're not fulfilled in because we're too scared to be alone.

Granted, every moment together isn't going to be puppies and flowers, but in general you should be happy to be with them.

3. You Don't Feel Good About Yourself

We all can have doubts and  insecurities from time to time.  When you're in a good relationship you should have a good self esteem.  When you are around the person you're dating it should make you feel good not worse. You shouldn't be second guessing yourself and your relationship when you're in a good relationship.

Also, if you're with someone that cuts you down or seems to make you feel worse in situations, then you need to stand up for yourself. To me it's a form of abuse.

2. The Cons Of Staying Together Outweighs The Pros

If you're feeling like you're on the fence whether to stay together or not, put together a list of all the positives to staying together.  Then come up with a list of all the negatives on staying together.  Go over the lists and try and determine if the reasons to stay are better than the reasons to go.

1. Your Instincts Are Telling You - Get OUT!!

We all have an inner voice in us.  I know I've heard that inner voice in the past.  It's the voice that told me that I wasn't being treated the way I should.  It's the voice that told me that I wasn't getting the love that I needed and there had to be something better out there for me.

We all deserve to be happy and loved. Go and find that someone that will appreciate, love and make you happy. Find someone that makes you feel good about yourself.

1 comment:

Pea Pods Porridge said...

Wow...10 for 10 here. No wonder why I'm going to move to Temple...on Friday.