Thursday, May 31, 2012


I don't know what triggers these moments, but I sit and go down memory lane. I think of the people that I've met over my life.  I had one of those moments over the weekend.  Maybe subconsciously I was feeling lonely and thinking of the times when I felt wanted.  I sat there and thought of guys I dated to the guys that I wanted to date, but didn't. My memory took me back all the way back to high school.  A time that was a lot more innocent and I was a lot more naive.

One person popped into my head because I met someone that went to the same college as them.  It's someone that I hadn't thought of in years. Then other people started popping in my head. As I sat there and filed through my memories, I wondered how these people were.  What ever happened to them? What did they make of themselves? I even went as far to see if I could find anything thing out about them or if they were on Facebook.

I found one person and saw that they look pretty much the same and seem to be during pretty good.  I decided to I send them an email to say hello.  I kept it brief and just explained who I was in case they didn't remember me.  Much to my surprise they did remember me.  Although, not sure how well they remember me.

While reflecting on my past, both old and more recent,  I couldn't help but want to know if anyone ever thought me.  If they ever do, do they get a smile on their face? Do they ever wonder what happened to me and want to know what I made of myself? Do they ever wish things might've been different or are sorry for how things turned out? Are they sad or happy that I'm not around?

I think about people all the time.  Certain people I think about more than others.  There's even a few people that I think about almost everyday. There are times when I reach out to let them know, but most of the time I am too afraid of what will happen if I do. What if I call and they don't remember me?  Or what if they don't want to speak to me?

Although some my memories were foggy and some were more painful, all of them were filled with a curiosity.  A curiosity if I made an impact on anyone's life and their memory.


Anonymous said...

There are people in your past who probably wonder the same about you and whether you think about them.

If you're truly curious, just send an email or a simple hello via other means. You maybe pleasantly surprised.

Erin Austin said...

OMG!!! You sound like a fortune cookie!

Seriously though, there's a good handful of people that I think about quite frequently. Whether we just lost touch or things ran their course. I'd like to reach out, but honestly I'm scared.

M biggest fear is that they won't answer or return my phone call. That sometimes I think would hurt more than just not knowing.

Although, I'd hate to live and regret not ever knowing.

Maybe one of these days I'll get the courage.