FINDING YOUR VALUE

There are times in your life where you need to take inventory.  You need to take inventory on the people in your life, on the things you spend your money on, on what you do with your time, etc.  Sometimes you just need to take inventory on your life, period.

I've been having that feeling lately.  In the past, I'd get the feeling to take inventory about every 2 years.  It usually would happen when I'd feel the need for a change. Most times it was triggered because of my job.  I'd sit and analyze where my life was going.  I'd ask myself, "Is this all there is for me? Where is my life going? What is out there for me?" 

What triggered it for me this time wasn't because I was wanting a new job, but it did come up because of work.  Something happened out of my control that made me question my own value. Let me explain.

For years I've been writing this blog.  It was something that I really wrote for myself and my own release.  Last year, I started reading my blog on HOT 95.7 with The Hot Show every Thursday morning.  I liked doing it because it made me feel recognized and a part of something.

You see, when I first moved here to Houston I was doing morning radio.  Mornings was a way that I felt I could be myself and express myself in radio.  Although, the situation I came into may not have been the best fit for me.  Things changed and I went to mid-days. Which is great! I get to sleep in a little and I still have a great job, but I don't have much of an opportunity to show "Erin."

When I started doing the Thursday blog on HOT, I felt valuable again.  Not only was I being recognized for my thoughts and personality, but I felt valuable because I was needed in another area.  Not only was I the midday girl on KILT but I did a segment on our sister station.  I felt wanted.

Then a couple of weeks ago my segment was cut. Our boss said he thought the segment was "good," but he wanted "great."  Suddenly I knew what it felt like to be an actor and have their character killed off on a show. It's not necessarily because you suck or are bad, but they just want to change things.

Even though I understood, I was still bummed. I started to get that feeling where I evaluate my importance. It may sound weird to some, but I felt that the more things I did, the more valuable I was.  Now I'm back to being a midday girl and am questioning my value and how important I am.  I wonder. Will there be something down the road to make me feel more of an asset? 

They say that when one door closes another one opens, but I just don't know what door can open that will use my talent and make me feel as if I have value and purpose.  I guess you never know what's around the corner or what the universe and God have in store for you.  I'll just keep chugging along and keep doing what I do and hope that it all works out the way it supposed to.