Monday, August 13, 2012
ARE YOU A NEXT STEPPER?
A friend of mine told me a story about this couple that has been talking about getting married. The couple has been though their ups and downs, but recently bought a house together despite not even being engaged. The guy said that now that they have a house together that the "next step" is to get married.
That for some reason sat so wrong with me. I immediately chimed in with, "Wow so he's a next stepper!" My friend said, "I don't get it. What's that mean?"
I told her that basically it's not a matter if he really loves or thinks they're meant to be, but more of a matter that they've been together this long and are here at this point that they should just go with the next step and get married.
I just thought how I never wanted a man to think that way about me. I never want a man to marry me because he thinks that's the next step since we made it this far.
That might sound weird to some and some people might take offense or wonder what the big deal is, but I got married because I thought that was the next step and I was wrong.
I remember thinking that since we were dating for a few years and since he didn't beat me or anything that we should get married. Not realizing that we probably weren't really a match, but more of a couple that was together it wasn't bad enough.
As much as I'd love to find someone and make a life with them, I don't want to do it with someone that isn't a good match for me or I'm not a good match for him. I don't want the only reason we're together is because it's comfortable or convenient. And certainly not because it's the next step.
It has to be and feel right.