MEN DATE ON THE SOCIAL LADDER JUST LIKE GIRLS

I always thought that women were the only ones that did this, but I'm starting to realize that some men date on the social ladder just like women have done for years.

What does dating on the social ladder mean? For women it was always wanting to marry the doctor. The guy that's a mover and shaker. Or dating a celebrity of some sort, whether it's the local celeb, the guy in a band, or the guy that plays some professional sport.

I've always wanted a man that did well for himself, but I don't think I have ever been the girl to seek out someone just because of how high they are on the social food chain.

In fact, I've always had my rule about guys that I wouldn't date. For instance, musicians and professional athletes. As talented and charming as I'm sure they are, I always saw them as guys that were so wrapped up in themselves and weren't really able to stay faithful on the road. Not saying that they're all that way, but I've met a musician that was married and he was giving me a hard core sales job like a used car salesman.

So let's get to how I've noticed guys dating on the social ladder. There's a guy that I semi-dated. For this story we'll call him "Name Dropper." Name dropper was a guy that lived up to his name.

He never really talked about anything of real substance but when he did talk about something, it was usually about himself or the important people he knew. When he would talk about his "good" friends he wouldn't just say, "Oh my friend Jack is going to be there." He'd say, " Oh my friend Jack that plays for the Houston Astros is going to be there." Keep 2 things in mind I've changed the names of the people and teams in this story. Also, the guy he always referenced this way, I'd met multiple times and each time that same guy also acted like he never met me before! NICE!!!

Now what's interesting about this guy is every person he associated with seemed to have a title of some sort. I remember thinking when we were hanging out that if I were some girl with a normal job, like working at a dentist office, he wouldn't have taken me out. What's funny is he's now dating a woman that used to be married to some pro sports player and you can always see her picture in the society section. Needless to say, it sounds like a match made in "who can use who more" heaven.

Now this next story I'm actually kind of embarrassed to admit. You see awhile back I met a celebrity of sorts and kind of developed a school girl crush on him. Ugh...this is where it gets embarrassing.

I actually had thought that this guy might like me!! How silly is that? Why would I ever think this guy would actually like me? Just because he got my phone number and he texted me a little? I think of it right now and I want to closed fist punch myself in the face because I feel so dumb. Where's Antoine Dodson right now?






Even one of girlfriends kind of had to tell me "Erin, I'm sure he was just being nice. He's a celebrity, he doesn't want people to think bad of him."

Unlike the first guy, who I would consider a "social ladder climber, this guy probably isn't seeking to climb the social ladder, but he probably would never go down the ladder.

Let's be honest, guys like him don't like or date girls like me. They don't date "normal" girls. Guys like him are used to dating actresses. Guys like him like/date girls that have 90210 as their zip code. Guys like him date girls that have a team of people to pluck, tweeze, and get them dressed in the morning. Guys like him look at girls like me as an afternoon snack. Guys like him probably just think of me as "that DJ girl down in Houston."

I guess I just feel silly thinking maybe, just maybe. Oy!

I'm not really sure where I wanted to end this and what my conclusion is exactly. I just know in the past guys didn't want to date me because they were afraid I'd talk about them on the radio. Now I find guys that don't think I'm cool enough to date.

I guess I just wish that someone great would find me at the top of their "food chain" (if you will) one of these days.

DEVELOPING THE "F#@* YOU" ATTITUDE!

I'm a girl that wears her heart on her sleeve. I tend to worry about things I shouldn't. Think about things too much and over think things too much. With that being said, I've had several people tell me recently that I need to develop a "F--- YOU!" attitude.

I've often taken this being "forever single" thing a little hard. Wondering if it's me. Wondering if there's something wrong with me. Wondering how and what do I need to do to fix myself if there indeed is something "broken." Hence, why I take things a little hard and over analyze.


I had someone recently send me a nice message about having confidence and self-esteem. 2 things I know I could work on. I think a lot of times since I'm out going and rambunctious that people think that I have a super fabulous self-esteem. When really, I probably use that as my defense mechanism. Crack jokes and act wacky so at least they're laughing at me in a different way.

One thing that this person touched on was basically a lot of things I worry about or get sensitive about, I shouldn't. For instance, when I get bothered that a guy doesn't respond back the way I wanted, it probably has nothing to do with me. Or why do I care what people think of me? Screw them. When I tend to let it bother me that they didn't text back and wonder if it's because of me.

I was talking to a girl I work with about something that bothered me and yes there was a guy that was the source. It probably seemed so small to her and most people, but it was something that hurt my feelings a little. After I get done venting and asking her what she thought about it, she told me a couple things that I needed to hear.

First, "The guy is a douche, and you need to stop thinking he's so great." She also told me that I need to think of 3 reasons why he's not so great. Second, She told me, "Erin you need to get a F--- YOU attitude and not let things bother you so much." That is something I've always needed to work on.

So how do you develop this "F--- YOU attitude?" How do you go from the girl that gets bothered if you don't respond back, to the girl that pulls a Mike "The Situation" and doesn't give a crap if they like this package or not. Screw you if you don't call me! Screw you if you don't want to date me! Screw you if you're lame!! Screw you if can't see that I'm STONE COLD ERIN FRICKIN' AUSTIN!!! God...that felt pretty good!

DO ALL MEN THINK THEY'RE GOOD LOOKING?

Now follow me on this topic because I may go in a couple of directions.
First direction: Does every good looking guy know that they're good looking? And does every guy think they are good looking?


The male ego is a funny thing. Most men I think have a very high self esteem. I can only think of a couple men where they're either self-conscious or lack confidence. Where as a woman, we tend to always either be self-conscious or have a low self esteem in some way, shape, or form. Sure, there are women that think they're hot and their shiz doesn't stink, but most of the time they lack confidence somewhere.

I bet if you were to ask most guys how they rate themselves on a scale of 1-10 they would rate themselves closer to 10. Where if you were to ask most women they'd probably rate themselves lower and then pick out what they don't like about themselves.

For instance, say there's a good looking guy like Ryan Reynolds. Does he ever sit at home and look in the mirror and think that he's ugly? PROBABLY NOT! However, if he did...I'd love to know.



Now when it comes to women, I can think of so many girls that pick themselves apart. When these girls are pretty girls. Yet for some reason...and I know I'm guilty of this, we look ourselves over with a fine tooth comb and down play our attributes.

For instance, I know I don't look like the back end of a horse however, I also don't classify myself as a 10. Maybe on a good day I'd say I'm a 7-8. I just think that a guy that's a 8-10 knows it and has no self esteem issues whatsoever.

I was just thinking of the good looking guys that I've come across and all of them seem to outwardly KNOW that they're good looking. Almost like they know that they could get any chick they want.

Now, let's talk about the guys that are average looking. A lot of these guys tend to think they're pretty hot stuff as well. For example....


This guy sent me an email on MATCH.com a year or so ago and he posted this picture on his profile. Obviously he thought he was pretty hot stuff standing there in his underwear.

Now I give him snaps for not caring what people may think, but really??? Did he honestly think this was attractive?


I guess the moral of the story is I know a lot of pretty girls that don't think so highly of themselves but, I sometimes wonder if every guy "thinks" they're hot and the guys that are pretty hot...know it.

Do guys ever lack self confidence?

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!

This is a a day that most single people hate! It's not my favourite day, but I don't hate it per say. I just know that for the last 4 Valentine's days I hung out with the girls or did my own thing.


Yesterday was a big big day!! Our sister station HOT 95.7 and The HOT Morning Show asked me if I'd be a part of their 1st annual "Shot Through The Heart" Valentine's video. I was soo excited. I'd never shot a gun before!!! This was a chance for me to get rid of some things in my past and let some aggression out.

I met everyone at the gun range with my marriage license, wedding photos and a card that my ex husband gave me that talked about he wanted to make things work. HAHAHA

Now there are times when I come across as a little bitter. And maybe there is a part of me that is, but most of the time I do for comedic effect. Sure, there are things that happened in that relationship that still have me scarred. I'm working on that and trying to not let that bother me in future relationships.

Here's the final video! What's great about this is that my ex husband soooo anti-gun and here I am shooting up the memories!!! AWESOME!!!

THE GAMES THE SEXES PLAY

I've never been able to figure this out. Seems like everyone plays games but apparently I'm not very good at it. And let's face it. Guys play games just as much as the ladies do. So how does this work? And why do I feel like I'm horrible at it.

Let's give you a little insight on how I used to be and at times probably still am to a certain extent. I feel like I've always been the chaser. Not that I'm really aggressive by any means, but if I like I definitely make myself available.

So if a guy "were" to ask me out, and I'm interested in them, I always seem to try to make myself available. Now if I have plans with my friends I don't cancel, but if there's something else going on, I may try to rearrange it. As much as I try to "play the game" on this one I can't seem to figure out how to be "unavailable."

How about when a you exchange numbers with a guy. I don't want to be the first to text or call. I don't want to come across too in your face. Yet, when I sit and wait for them to txt me or call me I feel like I shouldn't be holding my breath.

It's so funny because most of my girlfriends wait for the guy to call them, and it works. The guys call, yet I feel like if I do that they forget about me. I almost feel like I sometimes need to jump up and down with I sign that says "I'M STILL HERE! NOTICE ME NOTICE ME! I'M FUNNY!"I remember my ex Mr. Dallas after we broke up was giving me dating advice (AWKWARD!!!)in which he said, "Erin, you gotta act like you don't care. When you don't care then the guy comes after you." WRONG!!!!!!

I know this works for my girlfriends. Trust me, when I act like I don't care, the guy usually scurries off like a scared little kid. They fall off the face of the planet.

So no matter if I play hard to get it doesn't work, I play cool, it doesn't work. I play available, it doesn't work. How do these games work for so many other people, but I fail at them just like I did Algebra!!!!???

When I text a guy to see how he's doing am I making myself look pathetic? When I give my number to a guy should I pretty much ALWAYS expect that he'll never actually call it?

No matter how you slice it and dice it, I'm not very good at playing games. I wish I knew the magic formula. And don't get me started on having sex with a guy!! SHEESH!!! You're damned if you do and damned if you don't!!! Are they gonna call you or not???

OY VEY!!!

THROWING UP MY WHITE FLAG

If you read my blog on a regular basis, you know that I usually write about love, relationships, and the interaction between the sexes. My last couple of blogs has talked about what I'd like to find in a guy and chemistry. Nothing has changed there. I still want those things. However, I think I'm throwing in the towel for a bit.

You see, I've been putting my best dating foot forward for about 5 years now, and I'll be honest, I haven't had a lot of luck and I'm just a little burnt out. I'm to the point where, like I stated in my last blog, if you don't knock my socks off, I don't want to really put forth the effort.

I've even decided to take myself off every dating website that I've joined. And trust me...I have tried them all! I even joined J-Date.com and I'm not even Jewish! Although, I would convert to become a Jew! I'm not opposed to that. Shalom!

The dating websites proved to be good entertainment at times, but after awhile it was just fatiguing. I've been on match.com on and off for several years. I have not gone on a date from Match.com in about 6 months. I joined e-harmony about 5 months ago, and have yet to go on a date from that. I just don't find anyone that interesting and I really don't care at the moment.

As I've stated before, I haven't gone on a date that went past number 2 for some time now. And I'm not great at serial dating. There's really only so many times I feel like telling you how many brothers I have and where my family lives. After awhile I am OVER IT!

I will say that I have met some great friends from match.com. My best guy friend who lives in Chicago, I met off match. We went on several dates before I realized I wasn't quite ready to date after my last breakup. Love ya Lake Drive guy!

I don't want you to think I'm being negative about throwing up my white flag, because it's not to be negative. It’s just a matter of me realizing that I'm giving things a rest and going to focus on me for a while vs. focusing on me being with someone.

This will be difficult no doubt. I know I will be really lonely at times. I know that may mean that I'm not kissing anyone for a while. There will be no spooning, no evenings out for dinner and drinks. That also means that I'm not getting laid for about 6 months or longer. That kind of sucks!! BUT... whatever. Most of the time guys are pretty selfish anyway.

I guess we'll just wait and see what happens! Hopefully, I don't start growing cobwebs! Sheesh!

WAITING TO BE WOWED!

I was talking with a friend of mine that's in the single boat as well, and we talked about how we're just not meeting anyone that we find interesting. There's just not a lot out there that trips our trigger at the moment. We both meet people all the time, but most of the time the guys that are asking us out are not the guys we need to be talking to. DOUCHE BAG CITY!!!!

There was a guy that I went on a couple dates with when I lived in Milwaukee. We went to a sushi restaurant and the people there made balloon hats for the kids. I thought it would be fun to have them make one and make him wear it. I thought the date was actually fun. At the end of the night he comes to my place and stands in my living room and proceeds to tell me that he didn't think I was "the one."

Fricking really??? ON DATE 2!!!

Was it something I said or did? Was it the ballon animal hat? Actually no...He said it wasn't. He then told me what I think is the lamest thing I've ever heard. He said, that he thinks when he meets the girl he supposed to be with that he'll just know right when he sees her. Like, he really thinks that when he meets "the one" she'll have angels singing around her and stars over her head or something!!! I'M NOT KIDDING!!!

Again Fricking really??

I told him that was ridiculous. He told me not to ruin his thought of what love was supposed to be. Alrighty then.

Now as ridiculous as I think he/that is...I do have to say that I agree that there needs to be a certain amount of chemistry. For instance, when I meet someone I want to date, I want to find them attractive!! IS THAT SO WRONG??? And no...they don't need to look like an underwear model. They just need to be attractive to me.

I can't tell you how many times I sat across from a guy on match.com date half listening to what he's saying because I'm too busy staring at him wondering if I could even see myself making out with him. If I need to stare at you that long...the answer is "this probably will be the last date."

I can think of someone I've met in the last year where I thought, "Who is this guy?" I met him at a work function and he walked up and started talking to me. He sat down and asked me, "So what's your deal?" I remember looking at him getting slightly flustered because he was so adorable. Yet, I replied in typical sassy Erin fashion, "Um...I'm not sure what you mean, but I'm single, I like long walks on the beach and I have a dog." We talked a little bit more before he had to go to another function. But I kinda felt a spark...

You see, he's a person that I met and I thought "WOW! What's his story? Where did he come from?" I'd like to meet someone where I look at them and think that. I'd like there to be an instant attraction.

Some people may think it's shallow but I don't care. Just as much as I'd like to meet someone that I get an instant spark from I don't want to be with a guy that when he sits across from me he needs to think about it. Like, Can I see myself kissing this chick? I want to be an instant for him too. I don't want to be with someone where I'm thinking..."Ahhh he's ok." AND...I'd hate for any guy to think I'm just o.k.

Now if someone tells me, "Erin there's more than just physical attraction." True. However, you do need to be attracted to your mate. Hey, I was with someone once and I'm not saying who, but I never really found them attractive and I was with that person a long time. Of course, I loved them, but never did I think, "Oh I wanna see them naked."

I WANNA SEE MY MAN NAKED AND LIKE IT!!! I wanna look at them and think I can't wait to get frisky. Again, IS THAT SO WRONG??? What? TMI?