WHAT DO GUYS THINK OF THIS...

So in my last blog I mentioned that I'm not smooth when it comes to talking to guys my own age. However, I did work up the cajones to go up to a guy and introduce myself. That's a huge step for me. HUGE!

I saw him at the airport. There was eye contact made several times so I decided to just do it! He seemed surprised but I think it's because he thought I was with someone. Which I wasn't. There was a guy from my flight that was talking to me. After I said I just met them on the flight he said he'd like to meet for a drink sometime and asked for my number.

It got me thinking, do guys like it when girls approach them? Do guys appreciate or do they get weirded out? May I add, I just introduced myself. It's not like I told the guy I want to see the inside of his britches! I'm not that kind of girl.

Honestly, I don't know what got over me in that situation. Maybe it was my time in Vegas that got my ego up a bit. Having people hit on me was very flattering. It was a confidence booster and I guess I thought I need to take more chances.

Now the big question is will he call? I hope so...let's just hope I didn't scare him.

And do guys find it sexy or scary when girls come up to them?

I'M SO NOT SMOOTH

So over the weekend in Vegas I discovered something about myself. I can flirt with little old men but when it comes to talking to a guy my own age I calm up.

I was at the airport and saw this attractive guy. He gets in taxi line behind with his buddy. So I'm told to go to taxi stand #1. They're told to go to #2. I soon realize that I'm at the wrong numbered stand and I turn to him and say "Sorry I can't count." Really? That's the best line I could come up with?

Then I hop on an elevator at the hotel. A little old man wearing a Loony Tunes shirt hops on with all of his bags. It's 9 pm and I thought it was a little late for checkout. So I say, "Did you decide you've had enough of Vegas already?" He starts a conversation about how he was leaving because he needed to go do a magic show.

I got off the elevator realizing that I have no problem talking to a lil old man but I get all sorts of nervous when it comes to striking up a conversation with a guy my own age.

Now after my big weekend in Vegas I get back to Houston and notice an attractive guy at the airport. There was some eye contact made. Now, there was a guy on my flight that was trying to talk to me but I wasn't really interested.

So I leave and the guy I saw is behind me. Well, I see that he's standing there by myself and I decide you know what...just go and introduce yourself. So even though I looked like death warmed over from getting 3 hours of sleep. I took a deep breath and decided to go over to him.

We talked for a few minutes and he got my number...which he actually asked for. I just didn't say "Hey take my number." So I guess I didn't make a total idiot out of myself. Now...will he actually call is the question.

Hey, at least I'm proud of myself for going out on a limb and do something out of my comfort zone.

MY PRAYER LIST

I suppose it sounds weird having a list of prayers, but to be honest there are some things in my life in more than one area that need some TLC from the man upstairs.

1. I need a miracle in my finances. I've never had a ton of money in the bank, nor have I ever really been in debt. So for the lack of debt I'm thankful. Right now I'm barely scrapping by. The holidays are always the toughest for me and I've never caught up.

When I moved here to Houston I was in a decent spot financially, I guess. I had a little money in savings. But when I took this job I was also taking a HUGE pay cut. It's over a 35% pay cut. As much as it hurt, I took this job thinking that this move would be a great step for me in the long run. You know, Sometimes you need to take a few steps back before you can move forward.

The only problem is my expenses became more once I moved here. My rent is $400 more than it was in Milwaukee and some other things are more expensive as well.

My small savings I once had is now completely gone. I'm so sick over it. Really, my body is ill over it. I live in a town where everyone is driving around in fancy cars; they work in oil and gas and have tons of money, while I'm struggling to get my electricity paid on time.

I wish I could tell you that I have a fancy shopping habit, but I don't. I haven't been shopping since Christmas. Sure, maybe a trip to Ross and buy a dress for $5.99 and one for $12.99, but that's about it. No $100+ shopping sprees.

I NEED A MIRACLE! If I lost my job tomorrow I just might be a person that lived in my car. That's a super scary thought to think. Brings me back to my childhood a bit.

2. Someday, I hope that GOD will bring me a great man.

I know you're probably surprised that it's not number 1. But let's be honest, I've been hoping for that for a long time and it hasn't happened yet. So why bother.

I was talking to a girlfriend and she was single forever. In fact, she's never really had a boyfriend until just a year ago. I asked her how she felt about all this time without dates. She said, "I had to just come to the terms that it just may never happen”. Maybe she's right. And as cheesy as this may sound, there are many beautiful flowers in a meadow that never get picked. Maybe I'm that flower.

3. That everything will all work out.

I know I have a lot of things to be thankful for. I have so many cool opportunities that happen because of work that so many people would love to experience. I know that I am so lucky to have a job in a career that I love (as uncertain as that is right now). I know that I have a great bill of health and I'm pretty physically fit. That, I am also thankful for.

I guess I'm just looking for that rainbow and heck; I'd love to have the pot of gold at end of it too. A blessing beyond one could imagine. A sign from GOD as to why I'm here...and what's my purpose.

Just a little sign of things being more than ok.

I FEEL LIKE I'M IN HIGH SCHOOL ALL OVER AGAIN

When I was growing up I never had a boyfriend. First of all, my parents were super conservative and wouldn't allow me to date until I was 16. Being that I was a summer baby, that made it so I was a junior in high school before I was allowed to go out with boys.

Going into high school at 14 started the era of school dances. Homecoming, Sadie Hawkins, Tolo...and the big one PROM! However, only juniors and seniors were allowed to go prom.

It was easy for me not to worry about school dances. First off, the boys never asked me to dances and when it was a girl ask boy dance I was poor and didn't have money to ask anyone. That, and the fact that I was afraid they'd reject me.

I remember getting sad a lot because all my friends had boyfriends. The cute boys in my classes were asking out girls that I didn't think were all that great. Sure, the cool boys would talk to me but they'd rather talk to the girl that was already developed. I was a late bloomer.

I was a person that talked to everyone. I wouldn't consider myself a popular kid, or a nerd. I was all over the place. I wanted to be liked by everyone. I was friends with most popular girl in school to the kid noone talked to because he was too shy.

But when it came to the opposite sex and dating, I was no good. I had crushes on boys but they never were returned. The only guys that ever asked me out or made themselves known were the stoners or the foregin exchange students that I was friends with.

I feel like that all over again.

Since being on the single scene again I feel like the only guys that are attracted to me are the ones that aren't good for me. Ones that don't have their stuff together. Or ones that simply are just not my type and it's really really obvious.

I could walk into a bar with dozens of attractive men and the one that will talk to me is the one that lives with his mom and hasn't finished school. Now, I know a bar isn't the best place to meet someone but it could be worse.

I remember thinking when I was younger that I probably never would get married. Not because I didn't want to, but because I never saw myself being asked. Guys didn't like me then...and I'm feeling like they don't like me now.

I DON'T CRAP RAINBOWS!

I've always had a feisty personality. That's just how I am. I sometimes have a potty mouth. I say random things. Tell dirty jokes. I'm always trying to make people laugh. Let's just put it this way...I'm not Tenley off of The Bachelor.



Here's what's been bothering me. I feel like guys like girls that are the sweet "teacher type." They like girls that act like they came out of a Disney movie. I'm not that girl. I act more like I came out of a SNL skit.



I try not to get down about it but it's a little hard. Especially when you have someone tell you that a guy may not want to date me because I don't act like their mom! Really? You want a girl that acts like your mom?

Hey I have my moments where I act a fool, but it's not like I go to a business function and tell poop jokes.

I know I'm random but I hope one day I find a guy that finds it endearing. I mean, LBS (let's be serious), I like to keep things spicy and fun. Who wants the predictable? Well...Unfortunately I guess a lot.

Does everybody want to play it safe?

A SIGN OF THE APOCALYPSE!

So as you may or may not know my ex-husband recently got married. Now as much as I should be happy for him, you know, happy that he found someone that could handle his nuratic butt. I'm not happy. Because he is nuratic and how did he find someone that can handle him? I mean REALLY?

When that happened, I was feeling a little sorry for myself. Wondering when I was going to find that special someone. Wondering when will I find a someone that will be around for longer than a month or two.

I got over it. Of course, I had my moments when I'd feel a little lonely but I just kept telling myself, "I'm not going to settle and it'll all work out."



Well, just last week I found out that one of the guys that I dated in Milwaukee for a few months just got engaged for the 2nd time. The first time he was engaged was before I met him.

Anyway, we dated for a few months and then it was this odd here and there kind of thing. He's always had a girl in the picture. One girl for a year. Then another couple. Now it's the girl he's engaged to.

Here's the thing. He's been dating her since maybe November!!!! SHE was engaged to someone else a few months before she met him! Now, the 2 of them are engaged after dating maybe 3 months. HOLY CRAP! FAST MOVERS! Although that's kind of his M.O. His last fiancé he asked to marry him after maybe 6 months of dating.

When I heard this news I was like WTF? for various reasons. The main reason was, "Is here something wrong with me?" I really haven't had a boyfriend in 2 and half years...almost 3. I started thinking "Is there something I need to fix about myself that is really broken?"

The next thing I thought was, "Ahh hell! If I find out that Mr. Dallas gets engaged anytime soon, it’s a sign of the Apocalypse!"

That's the guy that said when we broke up, "Erin I just think the next step for you is to get married and I'm not ready." I asked, "Are you just not ready to get married to me or to anyone?" He said, "To you or to anyone. I'm just not ready."

At least he wasn't totally lying when he said that. I mean, he's not married yet. Although if he ends up getting married before I can even find a boyfriend, I'm going start looking for the seas to turn red and skies to fill with flying locusts!

ARE WE ALL TOO AFRAID OF BEING HURT?

Having your heart broken or being hurt in a relationship is something that happens to most people at some point in time. It hurts, sometimes for a short time and sometimes it seems like it never goes away.

I've been hurt plenty of times. Some hurt has lasted a moment and other times I think there's a part that still lingers in me. Yet, I still try again. Sometimes I get myself out there against my better judgment.

There are a few relationships that I refer back to when I think of being hurt deeply. Of those times, I can say that the scars I earned from it I still carry in a way. They're not completely healed yet. However, I still want to find a lasting relationship. A deep, caring, and meaningful relationship.

I still try to love without bringing too much hurt to the table. Which I think is pretty normal. You do your best to clean the slate. It's very hard. I know that I've learned things from my hurt that I won't allow to happen again.

I've met people both guys and girls that won't allow themselves to get into another relationship for fear that the person they are involved with now will do them wrong just like the last one. So they put up the walls.

I know a girl that is afraid that she'll get hurt so she self sabotage’s her relationships. Or she finds something wrong with the guys she dates in a way to protect herself.

I've also met a few guys recently that have been hurt so they move slowly with new relationships. Which is totally fine. I know I was that way at one time or another. My only thing is when you move really slow do things ever progress?

Are they so afraid of being hurt that they don’t let the new person see the real them? They've got a wall up and won't allow the other person in.

I know I’m afraid of getting hurt. In the last few years I’ve had my fair share of rejection. It’s gets kind of old. Guy after guy…issue after issue. With the classic line…”You’re a great girl.”

I know have SO much to give in a relationship. Problem is, I’m not finding any takers that aren’t already afraid of something. I'd would love to have someone give me a fair shot like I try to give them.