When I was growing up I never had a boyfriend. First of all, my parents were super conservative and wouldn't allow me to date until I was 16. Being that I was a summer baby, that made it so I was a junior in high school before I was allowed to go out with boys.
Going into high school at 14 started the era of school dances. Homecoming, Sadie Hawkins, Tolo...and the big one PROM! However, only juniors and seniors were allowed to go prom.
It was easy for me not to worry about school dances. First off, the boys never asked me to dances and when it was a girl ask boy dance I was poor and didn't have money to ask anyone. That, and the fact that I was afraid they'd reject me.
I remember getting sad a lot because all my friends had boyfriends. The cute boys in my classes were asking out girls that I didn't think were all that great. Sure, the cool boys would talk to me but they'd rather talk to the girl that was already developed. I was a late bloomer.
I was a person that talked to everyone. I wouldn't consider myself a popular kid, or a nerd. I was all over the place. I wanted to be liked by everyone. I was friends with most popular girl in school to the kid noone talked to because he was too shy.
But when it came to the opposite sex and dating, I was no good. I had crushes on boys but they never were returned. The only guys that ever asked me out or made themselves known were the stoners or the foregin exchange students that I was friends with.
I feel like that all over again.
Since being on the single scene again I feel like the only guys that are attracted to me are the ones that aren't good for me. Ones that don't have their stuff together. Or ones that simply are just not my type and it's really really obvious.
I could walk into a bar with dozens of attractive men and the one that will talk to me is the one that lives with his mom and hasn't finished school. Now, I know a bar isn't the best place to meet someone but it could be worse.
I remember thinking when I was younger that I probably never would get married. Not because I didn't want to, but because I never saw myself being asked. Guys didn't like me then...and I'm feeling like they don't like me now.