Friday, October 30, 2020

I'M AT A CROSSROADS

I've come to an interesting spot with my blog and newly launched podcast.  While I've only had the podcast going maybe a month with 10 episodes, I've received some great feedback and some not so great feedback.  I've had several girls tell how much they like it with one even telling me that she thinks I should look into being the new co-host for the "Call Her Daddy" Podcast.  * Then I looked into that podcast because I never really researched other podcasts before and let me just say OMG!  So they are connected with Barstool Sports.  When I googled them I found their videos on YouTube.  Here is the host, this gorgeous young blonde named Alex.  She appears to be reading a letter or something from a girl talking about her boyfriend and her having sex.  Then Alex goes on to read that this girl got up to get an after towel for her boyfriend and instead goes back and licks it up.  I watched and listened with excitement and horror at the same time.  Here were these two girls talking about some pretty nasty stuff and while part of me was like "Holy crap these chicks are getting nasty!"  The other part of me was like, "Yessss!  These chicks are getting nasty!"  

What's even more interesting to me was my girlfriend that has a great job in TV was the one that knew about this podcast and thought I'd be a fit for it!  

So then let's go to the not so great comments.  Well, I can tell you one person that's not really a fan of the podcast is the guy that I talked about in the last episode.  Needless to say, he wasn't too happy.  For the record, I wasn't trying to make him mad, hurt his feelings, make him look bad, or upset him; but clearly, I did because he let me know after he heard and said a few things that felt like he was trying to hurt my feelings.  In any event, let's move on to the other comments and thoughts I received. 


I had a couple girlfriends tell me they weren't the biggest fans of the podcast.  They both had several points that were similar.  One friend was a little harsher than the other, but both were pretty much saying the same thing.  I thought we should go over a couple of those points and discuss them.  Also, keep in mind both of the friends that had the criticism, did so unsolicited.  

1.  Both mentioned the direction of my podcast.   Now starting off this podcast I was talking about me losing my job and my mental state.  It wasn't until the last couple of episodes did really focus on the relationship aspect.  The last episode was probably the most about relationships.  So both of these friends knew me back when I started my blog.  Much of that blog was revolved around my dating life and my thoughts and observations surrounding it.  Both of them were telling me that I should go a different direction with my podcast.  One said that my blog/podcast talking about sex and relationships wasn't a "good look for me." While the other friend said I essentially had a man-hating podcast.  

So how do I feel about what they said?  Well...I was rather taken aback by their comments.  Especially, since both were very passionate and both unsolicited.  That being said,  I didn't really agree with the notion that my podcast sounded like a man-bashing podcast.  Now, I'm sure the guy I spoke about probably felt picked on, but I felt I was rather fair to him.  I just said that I felt like it was a jerk move not that he was a jerk or asshole.  In fact, I ended it with a compliment. So there.  

2. Both mentioned that it would make it harder for me to find a job.  One friend said that an employer would "cringe" at it.  while the other said, "your podcast is not going to do your future career any favors."   

Alright, this one I'm torn about.  I have felt at many points in my career as though I haven't able to express myself and truly be "Erin."  So having my blog and now podcast, I have felt that this is where I can be myself.  Granted, I'm still not unleashing all I could at this point, but it's a start.  Now as far as me having a hard time getting a job...I think that's a bit up for interpretation.   I mean, I'm not trying to get a job as a school teacher or something.  And maybe the one friend is right, maybe this would make it harder for me to get into TV, but at the same time, I'm not looking to be the anchor of ABC News.  If I did TV, it would be light and fluffy stuff, you know more personality-driven and opinion-driven.  As for radio, well I think that would depend on the station format and the person in charge.  

3. Both mentioned the dude I referenced.  Now both of them that several things about this.  They didn't understand why I let it/him bother so much.  Both mentioned how this guy essentially was a flash in the pan in my grand scheme of life. Ok...true.  Both friends thought that I shouldn't have called him out.   In fact, one friend said she's probably given a fake excuse every time she broke up with a guy.   Maybe the other said it made me look like a psycho.  

Where do I start with this one? Let's start with calling him out.  While these 2 friends thought it was a bad idea, I had plenty of others that totally thought I should've done it.  I even had one friend tell me that I should do another podcast talking about the things he said to me afterward.  Now, she is a hardcore bitch and is a girl that if you do one thing wrong...one time...you are DONE!  So for her, that guy would've probably been out the first time he didn't keep his word.  She doesn't mess around. Me on the other hand, I'm probably overly forgiving and give too many chances.  Now as for me looking psycho?  Well if it that's the definition these days then whatever.  I'm pretty sure that I could be so much worse.  And clearly, I'm not psycho...so we need to stop throwing that word around so carelessly.  

After getting both of those harsh reviews,  I seriously questioned myself.  Here I was thinking that I was starting to get a groove going, and then I get that.  It got in my head.  It made me feel like I have no idea what I'm doing anymore and I should just give up.  It made me feel like rethink everything.  It also made me feel like I wasn't talented and was wasting my time.  

And you know what's sad is that I let those 2 unfavorable critiques outweigh all of the other favorable comments. I had dozens of comments and compliments from women that loved it and can't wait for more.  Yet somehow I let the negative stick inside my head.  Isn't that funny?  However, it's always easier to criticize than it is to compliment.   While those 2 friends comments stung a little, I also took into account where they are in their lives vs me and who would listen to the podcast.  Both girls are married with children living the suburban life.  They also have their hands full with kids stuff, so I'm sure to them my dating life and single girl woes are something they can't even being to fathom...and thankfully they don't have to because it's not a pretty world out there. 

So what do I do moving forward?   While I'm not dating anyone or anytime soon, I do enjoy talking about that stuff.  Even if it's not my dating stories.  I love dissecting people's behavior and why people do what they do.  That's something I've always tried to figure out.  I will say this though,  this podcast and blog will have a variety of topics...dating will just be one of them.  

No comments: