WHY DO WE WOMEN HATE OUR BODIES?

Sara Michelle Gellar recently admitted to having body dysmorphic disorder. Body dysmorphic disorder is a disease in which a person becomes obsessed with an imagined flaw in his or her appearance. She said that she thinks most women have it. I would tend to agree with her.

There's not a woman I know that doesn't criticize her body! She may do it just around her friends, she may do it in front of her significant other, or she may do it when no one is around. Hell, some of us do it in public like I'm going to do in second.

I'm not sure where distaste for our bodies came from. I know I was never self-conscious till middle school when everyone started developing except me. That's when I started to really pay attention to my appearance and what people thought of me.

Now that I'm older, I don't worry about my boobs so much as I do about my ass and thighs. Despite the fact that they're small I could look at my boobs all day. My ass is a different story.

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this but, I'll bend over naked in the mirror so that I can see what my rear end looks like. So I know what a guy sees if he's back there. (keyword is IF)

Recently, I've become so self-conscious about my butt and legs that I've started this daily regimen that I saw on Dr. OZ to reduce cellulite. I've even gone and had 2 consults about procedures that maybe could make my butt look better. I've stepped up the workouts to sometimes 2x a day, I've tuned up my eating, all in an effort to help make my ass not look a road map of Texas.

I just had a friend stop by my desk and tell me that she's been feeling down lately about her body. My other friend mentions how looking in her closet is depressing because she can't fit into her clothes.




All of us are obsessed with our bodies. The only women I've ever met that love they way they look and have no shame are Hispanic and black women. This is not a racist comment. It's true. I have yet to meet one of my ladies of colour that doesn't think she looks good. You know who I'm talking about too. These ladies are wearing an out fit that is just a bit too small for them but they are wearing it like they are the hottest woman that you ever laid your eyes on. Why can't more white girls adopt that attitude? Why can't white girls get that self confidence?

Instead every white girl I know is starving herself, skipping meals, pumping themselves up with weird diet pills, shots, and having nothing for breakfast but coffee just so they can say they're getting skinnier.

Where did all this start? Did we ruin ourselves with magazines? Did the media do this to us? Do women do it to each other? Did men make us self-conscious?

How do we go from analyzing our ass in the mirror daily to excepting that it may not be a perfect ass but at least you're healthy?

What's interesting is that none of us are ever satisfied. I can tell you all the things I hate about my body yet, I'll have someone tell me they wish they were as thin as me. They could say they're tired of having big boobs when I may have to get bigger ones someday because I've grown tired up stuffing my bra.

We are never happy...but when will we just be satisfied? Is that even possible?

DO GENTLEMEN REALLY PREFER BLONDES?

I don't know if it's because it's that time of the month or what, but today I'm feeling especially sensitive about the age old question: Do gentlemen prefer blondes?

If you were to ask my opinion, YES!!! YES THEY DO!

Everytime I see a sports player: girlfriend or wife - BLOND! 98% of guys that I think are attractive - They go for the blondes!! I can't tell you how many times my friends and I are talking and we see a guy that's attractive. Only to see him with a blond girl!

As a member of the brunette sisterhood, I'm starting to get rather discouraged that the most guys really prefer blondes. However, they may end up with brunette just because.

I see this scenario all the time. You have a brunette that's pretty attractive. Then you get a blond who has a *"butta-face" yet, she'll have guys humping her leg. While the brunette that's more attractive goes un-noticed. Why is that??

I know I have work to do on me, but in the process of doing the official "Erin makeover" am I gonna have to dye my hair, get fake boobs, eat nothing but celery sticks, and be a cheerleader?

My question is to the guys...Do you prefer blondes? If so, Why? What do they have that us darker haired lovelies are missing? Or do you prefer ladies more exotic looking?

(FYI no matter wha... I'm not dying my hair or getting boobs...eventually there will be someone that prefers a sassy brunette with A+ cup boobs)

*Butta-face: not attractive play on words. -used in a sentence That girl looked good from behind but had a butta-face. (Oh but her face!)

DO YOU EVER TELL YOUR SIGNIFICANT OTHER "YOUR NUMBER?"

The new movie with Anna Ferris "What's Your Number?" takes a comical look at the number of people you've had "relations with." In the movie, Anna's character reads a magazine article that says once a person has slept with over 20 people, that you've missed your chance at love. Not sure if that's a true statistic or not but it got some of my friends wondering, "Should you ever tell your significant other your number?"

The older I get the less important this is to me. When I was 20 and very inexperienced in the sex department, I remember that I had an issue with my ex's number. I had such a hard time knowing that he was with other people. Maybe because I didn't have any past lovers and I was slightly jealous in a way. Now I'm older and more experienced and don't really think about it anymore.

I think the more experience you have in the sex department; the less you care about where your partner has been. (unless they have herpes) However, I think that this is a double standard.

I think most women don't want to know where their man has been because most of us figure that the truth isn't pretty. We think that the number is high and there's probably a few crazy stories mixed in there as well.

Now when it comes to the past of the woman, guys are a little funny about things. I don't think men really want to know the number however, if they did find out the number they tend to think it's only acceptable if it's a low number.

I asked a guy at work what the average guys’ number would be. The parameters were: he was 25-33, went to a 4 year college, was possibly in a fraternity, and had a few serious relationships in his life. The number that he came up with was at least 50. Needless to say I was not surprised by that number.

I was surprised that the same guy said if he was dating a girl that had a number higher than 8 was unacceptable! What??? So the girl with the same parameters could only have sex with 8 dudes??? LAME!

I pretty much figure that most guys have slept with a great deal of women. That doesn't necessarily bother me. What would bother me is if I found out some of his crazy single guy escapades. For instance, there was a guy that I met who turns out goes home with girls from the bar and he and his friends tag team them. I'm sorry, but even if that was in the past I'm not sure if I could take that guy seriously.

How does this conversation even comes up within a couple? If it does, do you just lie and say a low number? Does it really matter how many people you've been with? Is it different for men and women?

WHAT'S THE WORST BAGGAGE WE CARRY?

Everyone enters a relationship with some sort of baggage. Unless of course you're dating an infant. We all bring some piece of luggage along for the ride. In some cases they bring "pieces" of luggage.

I know that I have baggage that I carry along in my dating travels. My divorce is probably the most obvious piece. Not only does the title of divorce itself have a negative connotation, but the emotional scars are baggage as well.

After I got divorced and started dating Mr. Dallas when it came time to meet his family I was very nervous. Even though his family was super sweet and so nice to me, I was afraid to ever say anything about being divorced for fear they would look at me a tainted goods. Now I'm not embarrassed of it. I'm not proud of it. However, it is what it is and I can't change it.

The emotional scars that we carry from past relationships are a big one. Once you get your heart stepped on a lot of times you're afraid that the next person will do the same. I have a girlfriend that was cheated on by her fiance and to this day she fears that any guy that she dates will do the same. I have to say I understand.

A type of baggage that I don't carry but also don't want to date something with is KIDS! I know men for years would not date a woman that had kids, now more and more women are steering clear it the baby mama drama.

I always had a rule that I would not date a guy with kids. People said I was being too judgemental and not giving people a chance. So, I opened up and went on a few dates with a guy with kids.

The guy was a great dad. The mom took off and left the kids with dad to take care of. He was complete Mr. Mom. He took the daughter to cheer practice and he took the son to his sports practice. All of this while having a full-time job and being a workout freak.

The problem for me was I came from a marriage where all I had to compete with was a job and I never was more important. Where dating a guy with kids there's more going on.

With life and relationships there's a "totem pole of importance." With my ex the totem pole was Himself, Job, Dogs, and then me. When you date someone with kids that totem pole gets a little lower for you. It's him, job, kids, the ex(baby mama), and then you. The reason I put the baby mama in there is because I can't tell you how many times I've heard the Baby mama says "Jump' and the guy says "How High?"

I know that there are great men out there with kids, I'm just not sure that's something I'm comfortable with.

What is the worst baggage that you think the opposite sex brings to the table? Is it the kids, the baby mama, the ex, mommy issues, or financial issues? We all have an experience that makes us answer this in different ways. What's your answer?

I BLAME MYSELF

I decided to write this after I got a comment just today which was aimed to hurt my feelings immensely. Since reading my blog with "The Hot Show" on HOT 95.7 a month or so ago I've seen an influx of hurtful comments and negativity directed at me. In a way, I can't say that I'm surprised. However, as strong as I try to be and as thick I try to make my skin, sometimes you can't help but have it bother you or make you sad.

The comment that I got today read like this:

Having a blog makes assumptions that others actually care what you have to say. When you say the same thing over and over again it gets rather boring. Perhaps if you covered a variety of topics the reviews about you would be less personal. For instance, you could talk about why radio in Houston sucks so bad. Or you could bring up why people might want to avoid giving animals as gifts. Be more multi-faceted Erin. Or even great places to go on a date.

The drama that seems to be your life is boring. You do not come off well. The comments mostly reflect that. Aside from the guys who want to get into your pants and your girls, nobody is very complimentary about this blog. Have some mystery about you! Be happy rather than bitter! Stop trying so hard to prove you are right and the rest of the world is wrong.

Angry people don't get second dates. People who wear their emotions on their sleeves don't get second dates. And people who write blogs about their relationships get NO dates. Think of it like this: Most normal people have insecurities. You are not alone. If you thought a guy might blog about your date, and what he perceived as your flaws, how likely are you to go out on a second date? Or even a first date with that person?

Shut down the blog or expand your topics away from yourself. The only one you're impressing is YOU. Your stories are nut funny or interesting. I predict that you are thinking of some clever retort to once again try to make yourself look witty, confident and misunderstood. The real proof will be to see if your girlfriends defend you or quietly retreat. Guys who just want to sleep with you don't count. Let's help Erin be more interesting. Shame on your friends who refuse to tell you the truth.

Comments like this have always bothered me. Sure, the fact that they're hurtful doesn't help. But, the fact that this person feels the need to rip me to shreds, yet doesn't have enough balls to name themselves. Even if it's just a fake name.

Do they possibly have some valid points? Possibly. Do they bring some things up that I'm afraid of myself? Sure. Does this person get off on bringing others down? I would put money on it.

The beauty about having a blog is that you can talk about whatever you want. If I want to write about cupcakes for the rest of my life then so be it. I personally enjoy talking about relationships and all that comes with it. So, if you don't like it...then read something else! No one has forced you to read this. You don't comment on a sports blogger and tell them to write about other things that sports!

Have I always wondered if this blog will be the death of me when it comes to dating? Absolutely!! And now that I'm on "the Hot Show" on Thursday mornings it's crossed my mind even more. However, when I start dating someone I don't write about them. Usually, I don't write about them till after it's all done with (if they even make the blog at all). Also, I write about my friends' dating life so, I have that to work with too.

I post my blog with open ended questions at the end so that if you have an opinion on the topic you can give your 2 cents. I didn't intend for people to use it as an opportunity to chastise and bully me. Hence, why I blame myself.

I blame myself because I put myself out there. And let's be honest it's always easier to criticize than to compliment. When is the last time you called a restaurant to tell how great your dinner was?

I blame myself because I write to entertain and yet it gives people an avenue to be mean.

I blame myself because something that started because a boss of mine wanted to me do for this work has turned into something that I get great pleasure from. Something that is a bit of therapy for me. Yet, it makes it a place for people give their opinion on me, rather than the topic at hand.

At the end of the day, I have no one to blame for it because I put myself out there and when you make yourself vulnerable, people will take advangtage of it.

AM I ANYBODY'S TYPE?

I was talking with one of my best girlfriends the other night and she made a comment that stuck in my head. She said, "I just don't think I'm anybody's type." Right then I knew exactly what she meant.

I knew what she meant because I feel the same way when I walk in a room. (there's just another girl) Or when a guy walks in the room that I find attractive. I pretty much figure he's looking at the blond girl behind me.

Everytime I turn around I see more and more people getting a boyfriend/girlfriend, engaged, or married. And all of it makes me question everything about myself. My clothes, weight, body, hair, face, boobs, my personality. I question all of it. I'm starting to think that I'm just not anybody's type. Almost like God made several someones for everyone else but when it came to making my match, God took a nap that day.

I consider myself an acquired taste and realize that it will take a special type of person to be with me. I guess I didn't realize that whoever that "special" person is would be this hard to find.

The other day I was at the airport getting my luggage. When I looked down at the name tag I noticed a date on it. It said May 2006. It hit me that was the last year I took a trip with a boyfriend. That's over 5 years ago!! It made me sad... Because let's be honest...that's pathetic.

I know I'm being hard on myself, but it's really hard for me to imagine there being ANY man thinking when he sees me or meets me, "That girl is my type!". I just can't ever see it happening. It's hard for me to fathom a guy saying that a 30-something radio gal with a dirty sense of humour that has long brown hair with blue eyes is HIS type. In my mind, I guess I think every guys type is blond, with big boobs, skinny little legs, cheerleader type, and laughs at everything you say because she doesn't know what else to do. Oh and wants a man to take care of her.

Are there some people that aren't made for anyone?

HOW MANY 1 NIGHT STANDS IS TOO MANY?

Now if you were to ask my super conservative Christian parents they would that 1 is too many. And...that may be true morally. However, we all make mistakes, have our moments, or just need to get laid. The question was brought to me, how many 1 night stands is too many? My question is it different for guys and girls? Is it better or worse if you don't talk to them anymore or if y'all stay friends?


I'm a girl that could be considered a late bloomer. Till the age of 28 I'd only slept with 1 man which was my husband. After the separation I started dating Mr. Dallas and he was #2. Since breaking up....1, 2, 3, HOLY CRAP 4 YEARS AGO I haven't had a really serious boyfriend. I might date a guy for a couple months, but honestly, since moving here to Houston 2 years ago I haven't dated anyone longer than about 4 dates.







Getting back to the point. I'll admit, in the last 4-5 years of being completely single I've had a 1 night stand or 2. Am I going to give you the number? HELL NO!!! Am I necessarily "proud" of them either? Not necessarily, however they do make for a good story! Actually, some make for a pretty good part of my tell-all book.



I'll let you chew on this too. What if you're dating someone and when you get down to the deed they are just awful? I was dating a guy for a bit and when we came down to the business....he was just HORRIBLE! (I should've known because he was a horrible kisser.) Let's just say that it was the 1st and last time we did that. Is it bad if you don't give them a second chance at their performance?

I mean, what if you sleep someone one time but remain friends and keep in contact? Does that count as a 1 night stand?






What about men and women, is it more acceptable for a man to have a higher number of 1 night stands? And Why?



Say a woman that's 29, who's had a few long term relationships but has slept with 15 guys in her life and half of those were 1 night stands. Is she a whore or slut?



Say if a guy the same age with the same amount of dating experience has slept with say 40 women and 30 of that total number were randoms or 1 nighters. Is he a douche? Or is it normal? Is he acceptable?



I have a girlfriend that got married in that last 2 years. Her advice to my and friends and I was, "Girls, sleep with as many men as you can before you get married." God knows I think I should've sampled a little before I got married. Then again, at least I'm not married anymore .

How many 1 night stands does it take before you become "that girl?" Or do you become "that girl" the first time you have a one night stand? Also, can a guy even be able to judge any girl when it comes to this?

I can't wait for your input!

LADIES: IN YOUR 30's IS IT HARDER TO BE SINGLE?

My friend over at Fox 26 Natalie Bomke, did a segment with Mary Jo Rapini about single women in their 30's. Asking the question is it harder for women to be single in their 30's? Do we feel pressure to get married? And how is the selection for men?

Well I'll tell you this is right up my alley.

To address the first question. Is it harder for women to be single in their 30's? Absolutely!! Let's be honest, men always go for the younger girls. Once you hit 30 it becomes really apparent how old you're getting when out in the dating world. It's almost like men have a 6th sense and can tell that you're eggs are cooking.

I'd like to think that I don't look my age, but it's tough going out with my single friends and being the oldest girl in the group. Sure guys talk to me sometimes but most of the time they're younger than me and pretty immature.

Another factor is the guys that are in my typical age range are few and far between. It seems like any guy that I think I'd like to get to know, he's either seeing someone or has girlfriend. Oy Vey!

Not married yet??? I feel the pressure. Every time I look at my friends that are getting engaged, married or are having babies I feel an instant feeling of "you're a loser." I know I shouldn't compare myself. I know that everything happens to people at their own time. However, I can't help but get down and think that maybe my window has opened and closed. Sometimes I feel like I may end up settling with someone just OK because I've waited so long for my turn.

I mean, what girl wants to look at all the kids she went to high school with only to find out that she's one of maybe 2 girls that's not married, has no kids, and has no boyfriend either. Let me tell ya...that's me and it sucks sometimes.

As for the selection of men goes. There just isn't as many guys to pick from anymore and the one's that are single are either carrying a lot of baggage( i.e. kids, ex-wife, money issues) or still appear to be in play mode.

Since my divorce I've only met a couple of people that I thought had real potential. Now most of those I later found out that it was a really a good thing it didn't work out. POINT IS...PEOPLE SUCK!

Not only that but the older we get the pickier we become and a lot less tolerant of things we don't like. I know that I'm pickier now than when I was 24. I know how I want to be treated and what I expect from a relationship. That's something I had no clue about back when I was 24.

The last point I'll make is, when we get older it's harder to meet people. Back in high school or college you had a built in network of people to choose from. When you're older you pretty much just have your job. And I know a lot of people that date a work but that can get messy and it usually does. You might have an outside activity you're a part of here and there, but it's not the same.

So should us ladies in our 30's throw up the white flag and pretty much just figure that we're dried up? Are we past our shelf life?