Friday, September 30, 2011


Sara Michelle Gellar recently admitted to having body dysmorphic disorder. Body dysmorphic disorder is a disease in which a person becomes obsessed with an imagined flaw in his or her appearance. She said that she thinks most women have it. I would tend to agree with her.

There's not a woman I know that doesn't criticize her body! She may do it just around her friends, she may do it in front of her significant other, or she may do it when no one is around. Hell, some of us do it in public like I'm going to do in second.

I'm not sure where distaste for our bodies came from. I know I was never self-conscious till middle school when everyone started developing except me. That's when I started to really pay attention to my appearance and what people thought of me.

Now that I'm older, I don't worry about my boobs so much as I do about my ass and thighs. Despite the fact that they're small I could look at my boobs all day. My ass is a different story.

I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this but, I'll bend over naked in the mirror so that I can see what my rear end looks like. So I know what a guy sees if he's back there. (keyword is IF)

Recently, I've become so self-conscious about my butt and legs that I've started this daily regimen that I saw on Dr. OZ to reduce cellulite. I've even gone and had 2 consults about procedures that maybe could make my butt look better. I've stepped up the workouts to sometimes 2x a day, I've tuned up my eating, all in an effort to help make my ass not look a road map of Texas.

I just had a friend stop by my desk and tell me that she's been feeling down lately about her body. My other friend mentions how looking in her closet is depressing because she can't fit into her clothes.

All of us are obsessed with our bodies. The only women I've ever met that love they way they look and have no shame are Hispanic and black women. This is not a racist comment. It's true. I have yet to meet one of my ladies of colour that doesn't think she looks good. You know who I'm talking about too. These ladies are wearing an out fit that is just a bit too small for them but they are wearing it like they are the hottest woman that you ever laid your eyes on. Why can't more white girls adopt that attitude? Why can't white girls get that self confidence?

Instead every white girl I know is starving herself, skipping meals, pumping themselves up with weird diet pills, shots, and having nothing for breakfast but coffee just so they can say they're getting skinnier.

Where did all this start? Did we ruin ourselves with magazines? Did the media do this to us? Do women do it to each other? Did men make us self-conscious?

How do we go from analyzing our ass in the mirror daily to excepting that it may not be a perfect ass but at least you're healthy?

What's interesting is that none of us are ever satisfied. I can tell you all the things I hate about my body yet, I'll have someone tell me they wish they were as thin as me. They could say they're tired of having big boobs when I may have to get bigger ones someday because I've grown tired up stuffing my bra.

We are never happy...but when will we just be satisfied? Is that even possible?


Anonymous said...


I've seen quite a few guys trying to get your attention on your blog and you don't seem to acknowledge them.

Obviously THEY think you look GREAT and want to get to know you! Don't be so hard on yourself. (And I think you look great too!)

Lilackisses said...

As women, we try to see ourselves the way we think men see us. We nitpick every little imperfection, although most people don't notice them. So when we look at the pieces of the puzzle they don't make sense. But when we put them all together, and look at ourselves the way others do, we finally see that we are beautiful. Something that helps me to not obsess is to avoid looking in the mirror except we I need to (putting on make up, dressing, etc.) To me it's something like picking a zit; the more you mess with it the worse it gets and often spreads and/or leaves scars: It's infectious and damaging to our sense of self.

Jerry said...

Anonymous is correct, there are those of us, including myself that have repeatedly tried to get your attention. Obviously, we think you are attractive, funny, smart, smart-assed at times, but in the end, we get no recognition from you.

To answer your question about how or when did this happen, I would put a large part of it on the media, another part on your friends, an even larger part on at least one of the men in your life, and last but not least, you must accept a portion of this blame yourself.

Most women think they have to be painted and prissy to get a man's attention. Honestly, I could care less if you ever wore make-up. I would hang out with you if you were wearing a low-cut short dress or a pair of sweats that you helper your friend paint their apartment in... really doesnt matter. Its about the person inside to me. Take this as you will Erin, hope it helps.