Wednesday, September 28, 2011


The new movie with Anna Ferris "What's Your Number?" takes a comical look at the number of people you've had "relations with." In the movie, Anna's character reads a magazine article that says once a person has slept with over 20 people, that you've missed your chance at love. Not sure if that's a true statistic or not but it got some of my friends wondering, "Should you ever tell your significant other your number?"

The older I get the less important this is to me. When I was 20 and very inexperienced in the sex department, I remember that I had an issue with my ex's number. I had such a hard time knowing that he was with other people. Maybe because I didn't have any past lovers and I was slightly jealous in a way. Now I'm older and more experienced and don't really think about it anymore.

I think the more experience you have in the sex department; the less you care about where your partner has been. (unless they have herpes) However, I think that this is a double standard.

I think most women don't want to know where their man has been because most of us figure that the truth isn't pretty. We think that the number is high and there's probably a few crazy stories mixed in there as well.

Now when it comes to the past of the woman, guys are a little funny about things. I don't think men really want to know the number however, if they did find out the number they tend to think it's only acceptable if it's a low number.

I asked a guy at work what the average guys’ number would be. The parameters were: he was 25-33, went to a 4 year college, was possibly in a fraternity, and had a few serious relationships in his life. The number that he came up with was at least 50. Needless to say I was not surprised by that number.

I was surprised that the same guy said if he was dating a girl that had a number higher than 8 was unacceptable! What??? So the girl with the same parameters could only have sex with 8 dudes??? LAME!

I pretty much figure that most guys have slept with a great deal of women. That doesn't necessarily bother me. What would bother me is if I found out some of his crazy single guy escapades. For instance, there was a guy that I met who turns out goes home with girls from the bar and he and his friends tag team them. I'm sorry, but even if that was in the past I'm not sure if I could take that guy seriously.

How does this conversation even comes up within a couple? If it does, do you just lie and say a low number? Does it really matter how many people you've been with? Is it different for men and women?


Anonymous said...

If a girl can count on her fingers and toes then she's fine but after twenty that's sluty

LilacKisses said...

In the past I didn't think that it was important for my significant other to know my number. I figured my past is my past and as long as I am faithful a number doesn't matter. But apparently I was wrong. I've been with my husband since 2003 and he is the only man I've had sex with since then. But he wanted to know my number after the relationship got serious. When I told him, it seemed to have broken him and has forever damaged the relationship. We are married to this day I still don't know his number. I'm assuming it's higher than he'd like to admit, but I'm sure that mine's a lot higher....I think that number's make some people question the authenticity of the sex and relationship, but the way I see it is that you dug through a mountain of coal to find a diamond.

Anonymous said...

I just heard this on the radio and had to comment. My boyfriend insisted on having the "what's your number" conversation with me a couple months ago. I am 25 and had quite a bit of fun in college and don't want any guy to know my true number. I don't regret it but I know how guys feel about girls who have slept with alot of guys. They all say the same old thing, "I would bang a girl who has slept with a lot of guys but I would never date her." Anyways, my boyfriend ended up teling me his number (around 70) and I was shocked and a little grossed out. Meanwhile my number isn't low by any means but I can't help but feel the same way a little about not wanting to date (or marry) someone who has been with 70 girls. When I finally had to tell him "my number" I told him a number way lower than my true number. If I had told him my actually number then I doubt we would still be together. I think women are more likely to look past something like that than men are. He might be on to me though as he said this morning randomly "I think you might have slept with more people than you let on..."

mike said...

I dont think a persons number really matters because even if you had sex with one person a hundred times or a hundred people one time does it really matter, and if their number is high they were probably on a quest to find that person that they just can have great sex with and they found you...

Erin Austin said...

@mike! I like your thought here! And it does kind of make sense.

One thing I will say is...we hope that whoever we end up with we like them in bed.

I decided after I got a divorce never will I be in a relationship where the sex is not good!

mike said...

@ Erin Austin

That makes lots of sense because I wouldn't want to be with a female who just sucks at sex. Some experience is needed, and about your ex if he wasn't good when you were with him the first couple of times you should of left but then again he is your ex..

Anonymous said...

if your ex was so bad, and made you so miserable, why do you still have his last name? and always talk about him?
but yes, i agree, women always "have to" have a lower number than men....damn double standard

Bleutrinitty said...


Great comment!

I don't think a # should matter because even if you've only been with 2 people but had sex with them hundreds of times it would just be the same as having slept with 70 people once. You've still have sex more than once prior to the current person so it shouldn't make any difference at all. You're with that person now not those other people before.

Erin Austin said...

@ anonymous About my last name.

Why can't I keep his last name. It's good for radio. So I kept the last name and not him...big deal. I don't equate my last name to him anymore. And who cares it's a good last name.

As for talking about him...he was one of my only long term relationship experiences so that's why. Abd let's be honest he gave me a lot of material to tell stories with!

Fred said...

My number is "69"

AKRod said...

Call me old school, but I believe the # does matter.
My, now, husband told me one day that we wouldn't of been together if I had been around. And I feel the exact same way!
I am 23 years old and have only been with 2. He is 24 and I have been his first and only!
And no I am not naive, we have known each other since we were kids, grew up together, and I know this is true.
Our bodies are sacred, why share something so special with half of the world?

Anonymous said...

Okay, call me adventurous but I've been with about 275 woman. Thankfully I have not gotten any diseases. But I have had my heart broken many times over.

Am I a hopeless romantic? I like to think I am. I used to fall in love much easier than I do now. All these women have left me not really trusting females very much. I suppose when you sleep with 275 of them you sort of get to see how women really think. And it's messed up!

Sure I miss the crazy sex and "the chase." But I am much happier being with just one woman these days.