Wednesday, September 21, 2011


Everyone enters a relationship with some sort of baggage. Unless of course you're dating an infant. We all bring some piece of luggage along for the ride. In some cases they bring "pieces" of luggage.

I know that I have baggage that I carry along in my dating travels. My divorce is probably the most obvious piece. Not only does the title of divorce itself have a negative connotation, but the emotional scars are baggage as well.

After I got divorced and started dating Mr. Dallas when it came time to meet his family I was very nervous. Even though his family was super sweet and so nice to me, I was afraid to ever say anything about being divorced for fear they would look at me a tainted goods. Now I'm not embarrassed of it. I'm not proud of it. However, it is what it is and I can't change it.

The emotional scars that we carry from past relationships are a big one. Once you get your heart stepped on a lot of times you're afraid that the next person will do the same. I have a girlfriend that was cheated on by her fiance and to this day she fears that any guy that she dates will do the same. I have to say I understand.

A type of baggage that I don't carry but also don't want to date something with is KIDS! I know men for years would not date a woman that had kids, now more and more women are steering clear it the baby mama drama.

I always had a rule that I would not date a guy with kids. People said I was being too judgemental and not giving people a chance. So, I opened up and went on a few dates with a guy with kids.

The guy was a great dad. The mom took off and left the kids with dad to take care of. He was complete Mr. Mom. He took the daughter to cheer practice and he took the son to his sports practice. All of this while having a full-time job and being a workout freak.

The problem for me was I came from a marriage where all I had to compete with was a job and I never was more important. Where dating a guy with kids there's more going on.

With life and relationships there's a "totem pole of importance." With my ex the totem pole was Himself, Job, Dogs, and then me. When you date someone with kids that totem pole gets a little lower for you. It's him, job, kids, the ex(baby mama), and then you. The reason I put the baby mama in there is because I can't tell you how many times I've heard the Baby mama says "Jump' and the guy says "How High?"

I know that there are great men out there with kids, I'm just not sure that's something I'm comfortable with.

What is the worst baggage that you think the opposite sex brings to the table? Is it the kids, the baby mama, the ex, mommy issues, or financial issues? We all have an experience that makes us answer this in different ways. What's your answer?


Anonymous said...

Zero comments means the "Baggage Blog" was a boring attempt. Mr. Dallas is a tired subject as is your divorce.

Nearly 56% of all Americans will go through the Big-D (Not DALLAS!) and come out with a few stories. Note: No baggage is required for a "few stories."

And that reminds me: Isn't there a baggage check near you? Aren't you getting tired hauling ALL of this around with you everywhere you go? Work, dates, the blog. Jesus H. Christ Erin. Give your shoulders a rest and DROP THE BAGGAGE!

Me: I have no baggage. I'm perfect! I live the perfect life! Drive the perfect car! Have perfect manners and I am a perfectly groomed metro-sexual. My shirts are perfectly pressed. The crease on my expensive pants is perfectly straight. And my hair... well it's perfect.

Baggage? What is that? I like to travel light so what baggage I do have is minimal. Which it perfect. I can put it out of sight and out of mind.

Well, this had been a slice. Say hello to Rebecca and ask her if she needs help with her baggage.

Maybe you could find a bell-hop.

Have a nice weekend.

Anonymous said...

Wow, Erin... so sorry you have such a nut job for a serial blog stalker. By the sounds of all of the posts, I'm getting the impression that he's a lonely, miserable man who spends most of his time on a computer, looking for a date (he probably has one of those profiles that doesn't include a picture) - and when enough women turn him down, he has nothing else in his life to do but belittle others, because that's how he feels about himself. Sad, really.

Best of luck, girl!


P.S... I think the worst baggage we carry are our own insecurities and fears in life. They weigh us down.

Bleutrinitty said...

As a 28 year old female who has never been married and has no kids I really am opposed to dating a guy with kids. Not just because of the baby mama drama but because he already has a family and part of finding that special someone is starting a family together not starting your family while playing step-mom to his 1st family.

I think the majority of folks carry will carry the trust issue baggage. Whether it was due to cheating, some form of prior relationship abuse, etc. That kind of baggage though takes time to work through as well as takes a patience partner to be supportive.

Just my 2 cents.