ARE MEN LIKE LIONS IN THE WILD?

If you know me, I like to come up with weird analogies for things. Kind of like Dr. Phil does. Over the years I've noticed somethings in guys that are my friends, guys I've dated, or ones that I just observe. They like it when it comes easy.

Compare a guy that say you meet at a bar to a lion or cat in the wild. Now before you start getting all annoyed and tell me I need to meet guys other places just appreciate the analogy!!!

A cat in the wild sees a herd of antelope. It's next meal! *wink wink* The antelope in this story are ladies at a bar. The cat searches the herd for his prey. Which antelope will be an easy kill and put up the least amount of trouble? The cat keeps a low profile until the perfect moment to go in. Waiting to strike and make the kill.




Now, think of how that relates to a guy at say a bar. A guy scopes the crowd for some chicks. Finds one he thinks maybe DTF. He starts a conversation with her or better yet just starts grinding on her. Who knows they could be dancing! Next thing you know, he's telling her how hot she is and she has beautiful eyes or something like that and then BAM! He's making the kill! He's in!!!

Can guys smell the weak prey? Do us ladies have it written on our forehead that we're in a weak state and it won't take much to convince us to go against how we were raised? Is there a certain look or body language that makes us pretty transparent? Do guys know when it's going to be easy to convince?

How many times was I seen as that prey? Maybe I don't want the answer to that... :(

Now I gave the scenario of a bar but it relates to men and women dating. Do guys seek out the girl that will make it easy for them? No muss no fuss. He can do as he pleases. She won't ask a lot of questions. The path of least resistance.

I know some may think this analogy is silly and ridiculous but whatever. It makes sense to me!

BOYS BARKING UP TREES

I'm going through a drought at the moment. At the moment? Who am I kidding? I've been in drought for years now. I'm NOT going to to tell you the number of years because at this point, I'm actually trying to forget.

You see, it's been years since I had a serious boyfriend. A good year since I dated anyone more than a month, and at least 6 months since I went on more than one date with a guy. Needless to say, I don't have guys lined up asking me out either. I think most nights I have my phone sit there in silence because NOBODY is calling. Like I said, it's a drought.

So how does this relate to guys barking up trees? "Trees" is my metaphor for girls, and the "barking" is the boy calling, texting, going after her. Most of the time, I don't have anyone "barking" up my tree. If guys are "barking", I'm usually not interested, or the guy doesn't "bark" that loud and they fade off.

One thing I've noticed(in my experience)is that guys are "barking" up more than one girls tree at a time. Even if that guy seems semi-interested in you, he's probably working 4 or 5 girls at the same time. It's a numbers game.

For instance, I had a guy texting me, "When are we getting together?" What are your plans for the weekend?" When I respond with my plans or lack thereof, I wouldn't hear anything back. CRICKETS!

Come to find out, this guy that wants to know when we're going to hang out invited some HOOTERS girl to a party as his date. And according to his buddy he had one chick at his place for the night, while another was knocking on his door! Fricking Really?

Or how about when I met Mr. Dallas. I remember when we met at the end of January 2006, he told me that he broke up with his girlfriend of 3 years that past August. So, we start hanging out, dating, you know? All the while his "ex" keeps calling him.

Now these two dated long distance. She lived in Dallas, while he lived in St. Louis where we met. When I met him he told me about girls he'd date in St. Louis and how lame they were. Well...here's where it gets good.

So he takes a business trip to Dallas and by this time we're dating a month or so. Anyway, he calls me one night to tell me "something." He said, "Remember when I went to Dallas for work awhile ago?" I said, "Yeah." Mr. Dallas: "Remember when I told you that I broke up with my ex back in August?" Me: "Yeah." Mr. Dallas: "Well I didn't break up with her until that weekend when I went down to Dallas."

HOLY CRAP!!! It's now MARCH!!

So, to give to you the recap in case you couldn't follow:

Mr. Dallas meets me in January, said he broke up with the ex in August.
Dates other girls in St. Louis while "broken up" with his ex from Dallas.
Breaks up with ex in March and has been dating me for at least 2 months at that point.

So not only did Mr. Dallas cheat on his girlfriend of 3 years with multiple girls in St. Louis, but then starts dating me all the while this poor girl is somewhat clueless back in Dallas.

You know what's really funny about it all? I remember going on a few dates with Mr. Dallas while there was another guy I was interested in(which was going nowhere)still kind of in the picture. Mr. Dallas asked me if I was still talking to other guys and I said there was one guy. He got all huffy and told me that he stopped talking to ALL other girls when he met me! Really??? Mr."I'm cheating on my girlfriend with multiple chicks" has the audacity to get on me about if I'm still talking to other guys??

I think of that story every once in awhile I get bothered. Wondering if he pulled that on me after he moved to Austin and would turn his phone off at night because "he didn't want to be bothered." Hmmm

Here's another story. I have a good friend that met a great guy. He has a great job, makes great money, is funny, fun, and seemed really into her. Called, texted, or emailed her everyday. Told her that he broke up with his girlfriend of 4 years when he started pursuing her. And may I add this guy pulled out all the stops. Even the cute little stuff like making her dinner. Well, guess what? The ex girlfriend wasn't such an ex after all. Nope, she was in the picture the entire time. And they're still together!

The reason I bring this up is because I think most girls (well at least this girl) can only focus on one guy at a time. There's no guys on a rotation. I don't have Mr. "Good For Now" lined up. While most guys probably are texting, dating, hooking up with a roster of chicks. Better yet, they're probably working on getting her lined up before they even break up with you.

If that doesn't make ya want to get out there and date I don't know what does! So just when you think there might be a guy that seems soooo into you, just remember there's probably a girl in front of you and one behind you to take your place. There's always another girl in the hopper.

SWF SEEKING SM WITH A HEART....

AND A SENSE OF HUMOUR!!!

Since moving to here to Houston a little over a year ago, I've had my share of 1st and 2nd dates. I've had my share of being hooked up by someone, stealing kisses, you name it. All of this without meeting someone that I really connect with.

What I've noticed is that I may meet guys that are attractive to me, but either they don't get me or there's just not much there. And when I say these guys don't "get me," I mean that they don't understand me or what I'm about. I seem to meet a lot of guys that have NO sense of humour. I hate being being so blunt here, but most of the guys have a personality of a wet washcloth!

I'm a pretty sassy person. I like to crack dirty jokes and I sometimes have a potty mouth. My friends say that I'm one of the funniest people they know and one even said I should have my own reality show. Point is, I never meet guys that can handle ME. Not sure if I scare them off or what the deal is.

I've dated guys that try to change me. For instance, when I dated Mr. Dallas I felt like he had me under a microscope. "Why did you say that?" "What did you ask them?" "How are you going to address these people when you meet them?"



So, in 2011 I hope to meet a nice single guy, that I find attractive, he's a genuinely good person, and is FUNNY!! He needs to find me funny too! Some other things it would be nice for him to have: a decent job, and sex drive.

I know the sex thing maybe a bit much for me to put out there however, I feel that it's incredibly important in a relationship. And after my failed marriage, I've decided that it is going to be one of the top things that we need to be compatible with/on/whatever. If you're going to be with someone for the rest of your life...make sure you like to be with them...if you know what I mean!

And speaking of liking to be with someone. I'd really like to find someone that is my best friend and someone I can learn something from. Something that they're good at and they're willing to share with me and teach me.

I'd like to find a guy with a heart. Maybe a guy with a sensitive side. But not too sensitive because, well I'm pretty sensitive, and if he's more sensitive than I am that might be a little weird. I'd like to have someone that's not afraid to talk about their feelings and if there's something going on they can talk about it without shutting down on me.

Maybe he can have an artistic side. Whether he likes to write, sing, play an instrument, or draw. I think having a creative outlet is important and goes along with being sensitive a bit.

I think one of the last qualities I want in someone is an animal lover. My dog Sexie is a huge part of my life and someone that likes animals shows me that have a heart. A guy that doesn't like dogs is not a guy for me.

MY 2011 NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

I can't remember all my New Years Resolutions from last year however, I do remember a couple of them. One of them being to get in better shape. The other was to get my deviated septum fixed. (I know that's weird but I was tired of looking at it) Both of those happened this past year.

As I move forward into 2011, I'd like to see my life move forward as well. Sometimes I look at my life and feel like I haven't moved forward much. Granted my scenery has changed a bit with my moving around for my job. I've traveled a bit, going to Europe by myself several times in the last few years. My job has changed, I've learned things and have met interesting people. I still feel like I need more.

So what can I do to make 2011 better than 2010?

1. Stay Fit!

Lately I've been running and working out sometimes 2 times a day. I'd like to keep that going. It makes me feel better and I want to look better. I'd like to see if I could do mini-triathlon or be so fit that I look like a fitness magazine cover!! I guess that means I need to cut back on the cocktails and drink more protein shakes!

2. Teach myself how to play piano.

Being in the radio business and meeting a lot musicians, I've discovered that I want to know how to play an instrument. My mom plays guitar and my brother knows to play bass, but for some reason I never had much of a desire as a kid. I was more of a sports kid. Now that I'm older, I'd like to have a hobby and possible new talent.

I actually have already started on this resolution. I asked my parents for Christmas to get me a keyboard. So, I went to Toys R' Us and bought the Yamaha YPT-320! Granted it's only 61 keys, but I figure it's a good start. (And don't make fun because I went to Toys R' Us to get it.) So now I just need to set it up and start teaching myself.

3. Continue to better myself

This is sort of vague, but ever since my divorce I've been on a mission to better myself and get it together. Whether that's it's physical or mental I want to be a better version of me. I want to discover myself and know ME!

4. Get more organized

This is always been a problem for me. I would consider myself semi-messy and I'd like to change that in 2011. I have a tendency to take my shoes off and just leave them wherever. I'm like a kid with their toys. Heck, you should see me desk at work. Papers, makeup, and randomness everywhere.

I know there are some other things I need to work on but some of them I know will be to hard to break. For instance my potty mouth. I like telling dirty jokes and I don't think that'll ever stop. I like to not worry as much, but I'm not sure how I'm going to stop that. I guess we can just try to do our best each day and get it a try.

WHAT I MISS ABOUT BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP

It's been about 4 years since I've had a boyfriend or a long term relationship. I've had "moments" in there but nothing sticks and sometimes it's ok if it doesn't.

This morning when I was working out with my trainer, I told her, "You know, It's been so long since I've been in a relationship that I'm not sure if I know how to be in one anymore."

I stood there doing my squats telling her about the weird things I miss abut being in a relationship, and the first thing I could say was, " I miss taking a shower with someone." I think she was surprised that was my first thought, but that's really one of my favourite things about being with someone.

I think the fact that there the two of you are in your most vulnerable, natural state and completly comfortable with eachother is what I miss the most. There you are naked as can be without any makeup on and they're helping you wash your back. It may sound silly to you but I love it.

Cuddling is one of the other things I miss about being in a relationship. Cuz let's face it, when you hook up with someone cuddling is usually NOT in the works. (not that I hook up a lot) I especially miss spooning. Granted, spooning can be a little hot and sweaty, but it's so nice to have that closeness of someone wrapping themselves around you.

One of my "love languages" is touch. I'm what you may call a petter! I like petting people, rubbing them. Whatever you want to call it. I guess that's how I show my affection. I found myself not long ago after having a few drinks, rubbing someone's back. I actually had to stop and say, "Why am I rubbing your back? Is this weird?" Fortunatley they didn't. Although, it probably was weird.

Another thing I miss is having someone on your side no matter what. I miss having someone to share my good and bad days with. I miss having that person to bounce stuff off of and they want to help no matter what it is.

I miss having someone that wants to make you happy. In the beginning, this person wants to impress you to make you happy. After time goes on and your appreciation for each oher grows, then they just want you to be happy everyday.

TAKING APPLICATIONS FOR NEW GIRLFRIENDS

Since moving to Houston over a year ago I've made a few friends. Not as many as I'd like but a few. Out of those friends, I feel like I haven't met my total equal. Now don't get me wrong. I've met some great people, but it seems I don't like I don't have my group of go to girls.

I've always said that finding good girlfriends is like finding a boyfriend. Think about finding a good mate. It's not easy to find someone who's on the same page as you. Someone that you have a connection with and enjoy their company. So, when it comes to finding girlfriends it can be equally as tough.

It seems like my girlfriends in Milwaukee were there when you needed them. Not matter what it was. If you were having a problem, they were there. If you wanted to grab some food last minute, they were there. If you needed a work out partner, they were there.

All of them were so different and yet we all were such a great group together!

Like my best friend "Marissa," she and I had the same schedule. So when we became friends we were inseparable. We'd workout together, take naps at the same time, and we would even go grocery shopping together. We have the same sense of humour, we act very similar, have similar personalities, and we have each others back.

Or my friend "Rachel," whom I met because she called up the radio station. It may sound weird, but she was listening to my morning show the day I talked about how my boyfriend broke up with me. I was balling on the air like a girl just had her heart ripped out by the guy she loved and he threw it on the ground and did the Mexican hat dance on it.

I think she must've felt a little sorry for me. There I am in a new town, with a new job and the one semi stable part of my life, my boyfriend, decided to break up with me over the phone.

At first I was apprehensive to meet her for lunch, but then I thought, "Oh what the hell!" We ended up having lunch for something like 3-4 hours. The great part about her is that she's very open and in a way has a motherly understanding. She's the girl likes taking care of people.

There are so many other great girlfriends that I had there. My landlord I guess you could say was my first friend. My friend "Clarissa" who was a part of the group.

We had such a great group of girls. A group that I could rely on and vice versa. I can't truly say that here. Not that these girls aren't great people but we maybe in different phases.

I feel like girls flake on me a lot. We make plans and they don't get back to you until 6 hours later. Lately I've been spending my weekends at home because my girls aren't as reliable or on the same page as I am.

I would like to have one single friend that I can have as my go to girl ad not worry about her bailing on me everytime I turn around.

TAKING A BREAK

I've had people over the years tell me what I should do with this blog. They tell me I shouldn't mention this or that. Who I should and shouldn't talk about. And what I should put out there.

I've always kind of blown them off. Especially when it came to the guys that gave me their opinion. I always took it as insecurity. Like my ex-husband. I think he was just embarrassed that his behavior was making him look bad.

Well as of late I'm starting to wonder if I should keep this blog going because it may even scare off the good guys.

Let's face it, we live in the world of Google. So my problem is not only can you Google me and find out a great deal about me because of my job but I also have this blog where I'm fairly open.

I've always been good about concealing people's identity in my blogs and I've never been nasty about people or the stories I talk about. However, after talking to some people close to me that are impartial they mentioned maybe taking a break for a while and see if I have any better luck with guys.

Funny thing is, there are plenty of my life experiences and people I've met that have never made the blog. Although, they gave me great material for it. Maybe I'll save them for the book.

Part of me is open to giving my blog a break, but then the other part of me thinks "Why do I need to change myself for someone else?" Look at Taylor Swift! Look at Alanis Morissette! Look at people that write books about their crazy lives. Chelsea Handler, Jenny McCarthy, Kendra from "The Girls Next Door." Need I say more????

Those people have made millions of dollars singing, writing, and putting it all out there about the trails and tribulations of their lives. Now the difference between us, they're making millions off it, where I'm struggling to get all my bills paid and save a few bucks here and there.

Oh what to do? It'd been nice to find a guy that could handle me and what comes with it. I'm not that scary to be with.