Sunday, January 16, 2011


If you know me, I like to come up with weird analogies for things. Kind of like Dr. Phil does. Over the years I've noticed somethings in guys that are my friends, guys I've dated, or ones that I just observe. They like it when it comes easy.

Compare a guy that say you meet at a bar to a lion or cat in the wild. Now before you start getting all annoyed and tell me I need to meet guys other places just appreciate the analogy!!!

A cat in the wild sees a herd of antelope. It's next meal! *wink wink* The antelope in this story are ladies at a bar. The cat searches the herd for his prey. Which antelope will be an easy kill and put up the least amount of trouble? The cat keeps a low profile until the perfect moment to go in. Waiting to strike and make the kill.

Now, think of how that relates to a guy at say a bar. A guy scopes the crowd for some chicks. Finds one he thinks maybe DTF. He starts a conversation with her or better yet just starts grinding on her. Who knows they could be dancing! Next thing you know, he's telling her how hot she is and she has beautiful eyes or something like that and then BAM! He's making the kill! He's in!!!

Can guys smell the weak prey? Do us ladies have it written on our forehead that we're in a weak state and it won't take much to convince us to go against how we were raised? Is there a certain look or body language that makes us pretty transparent? Do guys know when it's going to be easy to convince?

How many times was I seen as that prey? Maybe I don't want the answer to that... :(

Now I gave the scenario of a bar but it relates to men and women dating. Do guys seek out the girl that will make it easy for them? No muss no fuss. He can do as he pleases. She won't ask a lot of questions. The path of least resistance.

I know some may think this analogy is silly and ridiculous but whatever. It makes sense to me!


el miguel said...

hi EA. i finally stumble across your fabled postings of rumblings, quips, and whimsical wonderings. i read through several of your blogs and i like where your thoughts are, but i wonder if you spend as much time working on you as you do trying to figure out "what's wrong with guys".

anyhow, in response to this recent post, i find that as a man the answer lies in what we are looking for. in order to symbolically compare men to lions on the hunt, etc lets examine their intent in the wild (lions can be female you know). unlike humans, animals of prey tend to hunt only when pretty hungry but not weak enough to be ineffective as it consumes vast amounts of energy which is a precious and a relatively scarce resource. due to the high resource consumed when attacking prey, lions tend to focus on the weak and feeble. they are the easiest to take down and "beggars are definitely not choosers" and any meal is tasty when starving.

anyhow, like animals of prey, men, when hungry, prey after the easy meal. that's why many women have evolved to be a bit "b*tchy" to scare away men who too are on the weaker side of the scale. being "hard to get", is a defense mechanism and stifles the "creapnoids" who really do not have the staying power to go the distance and who want the easy meal.

now, this does not mean that men who are a real threat do not have any different intention than just a snack for the night, but that's a different item for discussion.

anyhow, my advice after reading through your blog is that men, like women, seek parody. as we age, we realize that all those years of late nights, imbibing, stress from our career, bad relationships and partying catch up with us when we hit the 30s. we trade our youthful prowess, boyish good looks, and flippant "life of the party" persona for the successful, financially stable, reliable, and attentive lover. our "renewed" value proposition seeks a match in a women who is kind, compassionate, caring, reliable, trust-worthy, and loves us for who we have become. it's like we trade the quick and easy meal for the "dinner theater". we want all of the savory experiences that make the indulgence sooo worthwhile. we seek the women who we can settle down with and not feel like she is one of the flaky girls we used as playmates.

regarding your dating history, it seems like you have not found parody in your "partners". you are an attractive gal and seem to be quite fit. it sounds like you're looking for the guy who not only makes great money, looks like a "god", is quite dashing and charming, but treats you like his princess. he is the envy of most women and is quite the suave swooner. nonetheless, realize that this fine specimen is not just looking at women your age, but has options both older and younger. you are competing against all women who have a pulse. perhaps not directly against them, but certainly in his eyes. what i ask you, rhetorically, is what you bring to the table that they do not. we all in some capacity seek symbiosis and parody. if your side of the equation is not equaling his... watch out! you will be yesterday's amusement.

so if you are really seeking love, make sure its not in all the wrong places. (thank you johnny lee) if you do not want to be fighting for some guys attentions, you may want to find the guys who are looking for what you have to offer and not for the parody you wish or think you are bringing. timing of course is everything and you should probably ask what you all can do for each other as opposed to what he can do for you.

anyhow, hope my own experiences and introspection add some insight to you in your journey and adventure to happiness. remember, no person except you can make YOU happy. find the guy who is not looking for the easy prey. your prince charming will not know your worth if you do not either.

Erin Austin said...

El Miguel,

I have a feeling I might know who this is.

As to your question if I'm working on me as much as I analyze men....If you knew me You'd know I'm constantly working me. I think I spend so much time wondering what I can do to be a better me. Mentally, physically, you name it!

If you do know me you haven't either talked me in awhile or paid attention to know that I've been working on me for about 6 years and since moving here to Houston I've kicked up a notch.

BTW, your insight about me being up against every other girl out there and what do I offer...thanks for that!! Like i don't sit there and tell myself that everyday!! And ask myself why would a guy pick me when there are so many other girls out there.

Thanks for reminding me. Probably another factor of me being in therapy.

Remind me not to call you if I need a pep talk! You'd probably make me want to take about 10 xanax!!

el miguel said...

please don't get defensive about my post...

if i knew you/you knew me then perhaps i would understand all the efforts that you have placed in bettering yourself. i do have to say, though, that just by going to therapy is not working on oneself any more than walking into a gym is like working out. it really takes a lot of work, effort, introspection, and rolling up the sleeves and getting "dirty". a therapist is like a trainer in that they can help guide you on what you should focus on tackling based on how true you are to yourself in admitting that you have weak or troubled areas and where they really are.

my commentary regarding "being up against all women" was not a slight. it was really a comment to say that you need to find the guy that fits. the guy who values you for being you - flaws and all (vice versa of course). if you are looking for the "super model" of a man than be ready for the competition. i have known many women who have finally found men who support and enable their happiness because they started finding matches who they were symbiotically compatible with. They understood what was their parody. while many of us, like you, work damn hard to look great, as we get older, if all we rest our hats on is looking hot, we are losing the game. it's critical to be multifaceted.

if you want a cheerleader than call your faux friends. if you want honest advice (of course there is always going to be bias) then keep on blogging and/or call those friends and love ones who really care about you and your happiness.

Lauren Parker said...

Depends on the guy.

I think a lot of guys have their own ideas of whether a girl is 'easy prey" in my experience. For most men, it's a number game so if they can get past the "hello" part and start a conversation or grinding on the dancefloor, they believe there is potential there and will continue on. If you shoot them down right away or play hard to get, it weeds out the "tire-kickers"