WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 5 YEARS?

The other day I had a thought. Coincidentally I had it the other morning while I was taking a tinkle. Ya I know, too much information, but I'm open and that's where I was. I sat there thinking about how I turn 33 this week and I remember why there's a significance about my birthday this year.

Five years ago when I just started dating Mr. Dallas (Wow that was about 5 years ago...crazy)I remember we were having one of those early on in dating getting to know each other conversations. Unlike a LOT of men I meet, Mr. Dallas was very good at asking questions. Out of the blue he asked me a semi interview question. "Erin, where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

Kind of surprised I said, "What do you mean?" He then said, "well do you see yourself married or single? Do you have kids? Do you see yourself with a house on the lake?" I didn't know how to respond.

I said, "Well I'll be 33 in 5 years. Honestly I don't know. I can see myself married but then again I can see myself single. Really, I haven't put much thought into it. I kind of just take life as it comes."

Well 5 years later is NOW! And as I sat there thinking of that 5 year mark I thought, Where am I and what have I accomplished 5 years later?

We know one thing is certain...I AM SINGLE! So, no surprise there. I have moved on to bigger opportunities career wise. Although my back account is lacking significantly. I've gained some great friends along the way. I still have no debt. That's good. I have my health still.

One thing is, and maybe I'm just being hard on myself and incredibly self critical, but I feel like I haven't done as much as I'd hoped. Granted, I never really thought about it, but I guess you just think that things will be so much better in 5 years.

Deep down I would've loved to be in a relationship in that amount of time. But I'm not and not really even close. I wasn't sure about the kids and I'm still not sure. I figure it depends on who I marry and what WE decide vs. what I decide.

I wish I would have my place that I own or co-own. That's not the case. I also would've thought I'd make more money in 5 years and have a little nest egg so to speak. Again, not the case.

One thing I will say is in that 5 years I've gone on 3 vacations in Europe by myself. France, Italy, and England. Paid for by myself. That is something that I didn't picture myself doing, but I'm glad I did.

So where do I see myself in the next 5 years? Let's not discuss my age then. But I do hope that in the next 5 years I meet someone that loves me unconditionally. I hope that I am even further along in my career with a TV show or maybe even an author. God knows I've had some interesting stories along the way. I hope that I have a great place to live that I can say is MINE or OURS!

I hope and pray. In fact, I'm going to visualize it.

I, I, I, ME, ME, ME, MY, MY, MY

In my recent years of dating I've noticed something. People love to talk about themselves. I, I, I, and ME, ME, ME. It even goes to the Internet with online dating. Let me explain.

As mentioned previously, I've tried online dating. From time to time I'll get an email. The one that sticks out is one that I received from a random guy whom I never spoke to. It literally started off, "I had a great weekend. On Saturday I flew to Chicago to visit MY brother. Blah Blah Blah.

Now this wouldn't have been so bad if I knew him or asked him about his weekend, but I didn't know this guy from Adam and he started giving me his life story.

I dated a guy for a second that loved telling me stories about himself. Problem is he NEVER asked me questions to get to know anything about me. When I mentioned that he never asks me anything, he said that he leaves it to the other person to talk about themselves. I DISAGREE. And how could I when he's always talking about himself.

When you never ask questions about the other person it gives the impression that you don't really care about that person, let alone getting to know them. I ask questions because I'm interested. I also like to tell stories, but it makes it hard to tell a story if the person you're with doesn't show any interest in anything you have to say.

I had a conversation with a guy and he said, "I like talking with you, we have good conversations." This precedes a 50 minute conversation that we had. More like he had and I just sat there going "uh-huh, yeah, wow, interesting."

For 50 minutes he told me all about him. His travels, his hobbies, his work, his working out, his writing. Funny thing, I kept waiting for him to direct a question my way and the only question he asked me was in the very beginning when he asked how things were going at work.

I think a lot of it has something to do with that these guys work in sales. They're always in sales mode. Trying to sell you on them, when really just be yourself and let it flow. It makes a girl think you're putting on a front or a show.

What's funny is, if they're in sales it would be wise for them to ask questions. If they're looking at you as a client, wouldn't it be wise to build a relationship with that client? You know...get to know that person.

I know we can all get a little wrapped up in ourselves at times. I'm guilty of it. I sometimes get so preoccupied with what I have going on that I forget to look outside myself for a second. I get so worried about my problems that I forget that my friends have they're own crap. I get it.

I just know that I'm seeing a trend of inwardly focused men. "I do this and I have this" type of guys. I just wonder if anyone cares about anyone other than themselves anymore.

WILL THE REAL ERIN AUSTIN PLEASE STAND UP?

So we all know that I'm single and I've been single for the past...gosh 3 years? We all know my story. I've dated guys here and there but nothing longer than 2-3 months. There's been a lot of one and done dates in there as well.

I've started noticing something about myself over the past year let's say. I think I really noticed it after I dated a guy will call lawyer boy #2. Lawyer boy #1 is currently taken by someone else.

So back on task here. He was a funny guy but at the same time kind of dry. He would sometimes ask me questions and after I would answer he would sometimes just sit there. I started getting in the habit of saying, "Is that OK?", or "Is that weird?" Like I was looking for his approval. WTF?

I've noticed that when I start dating someone new, I'm becoming more reserved. Which is O.K. I guess to a certain extent. I mean, you don't want to be telling your life story on the first and second date. However, I feel like I've subconsciously decided that people may not like me for me and so I'm giving them a 50% version of myself.

I can think back to when I dated Mr. Dallas. On many levels he was the best relationship I've had. He was very affectionate, yet on other levels it was wasn't. And not that the bad was really bad. Let's just say, I felt as though I was auditioning for a politician's wife sometimes.

We would go out with his friends and since I'm pretty social I might start talking with his friends' wives/girlfriends. After it was over I remember he would ask me, "So what did you guys talk about? He asked me if I asked them "How business going? How are things with the family?"

There's was one time we were visiting the family and his mom (love her) made a meal for the family. Everyone at the table was going on and on about how great the meal was. And don't get me wrong, it was good, but the way everyone at the table carried on you would've thought she just made some 5 course meal with Lobster flown in special for the dinner.

I sat there as everyone chimed in with their Ohh's and Ahh's not knowing what to think. I might've chimed in with an "Thanks for making dinner." Apparently that wasn't good enough because afterwards I got the Spanish Inquisition about why I didn't tell his mom that I liked her food.

Granted, I guess I could've chimed in with everyone else. But I'm a faker. YES! Her dinner was good. I just felt as though everyone else was doing a good enough job ogling over her cooking that my "thanks for making dinner" would've sufficed. I guess next time I'll play along a little more.

Point is, I often felt with him that he picked me apart, and he was really hard on me. His brothers girlfriend at the time told me once, "These boys are tough ones and Erin you got the toughest one of the bunch."

The thing is, I like guys that are very put together. Successful, smart, well educated to name a few traits. A good dresser doesn't hurt. Problem is, I've noticed that with these guys that are so put together, I find myself getting intimidated. Afraid that if they see the funny, quirky, independent, outspoken Erin they may not like me.

What is that all about? That's freaking lame is what that is!

Some of these guys are very particular. They are particular about various things and sometimes everything. I hanging out with this guy for a month and the stuff I'd hear him be anal about was mind boggling. It was little stuff too. He doesn't eat tilapia. Doesn't eat frozen food. Has to work out everyday. Only washes his underwear in lukewarm water for fear of shrinkage. OK...that last one I made up, but really this guy had so many rules, regulations, and conditions on everything that I sometimes wondered what he was doing hanging out with me...better yet what was I doing hanging out with him.

I had a guy I date tell me I was messy. Now I'm so afraid to have anybody over, especially a guy. Fearing they'll see dog fur and run!

Again, this probably all boils down to me over thinking things and needing to relax. I know that I'm not perfect and I need to think that these guys are perfect either. No matter how put together they seem to be...no one is perfect and we all have flaws.

NOMINATE ME FOR REGIS AND KELLY'S FILL IN CO-HOST

So Kelly Ripa is going on vacation and Regis is looking for some ladies of radio to fill in and guest host for a day!

I have to say that it is my dream to be the next Kelly Ripa (with higher percetage of body fat). I would love love love to be a guest host for a day and now I could have my chance!!!

So this is what you can do to help me acheive my dream gig...if only for a day.
Click on the link below, register and fill out the info.

I've listed everything you'll need to fill in the blanks
Other info you may need to nominate Erin:

Erin Austin Morning Co-Host 5-10am

100.3 KILT-FM

CBS Radio Houston

713-881-5100 (business line)

Station link www.kilt.com

Bio link http://kilt.radio.com/shows/erin-austin/

Video link http://www.youtube.com/user/eagirl77

Audio link http://site.erinaustinonline.com/Showcase.html

DO YOU EVER FEEL LOST?

Every once in awhile I go through these phases where I wonder where my life is going and I question "Is this all there is for me?" This always annoyed my ex. He didn't realize that things weren't going the way I wanted them to in my life it was frustrating for me.

I know that I'm a very impatient person. I'm always comparing my life and myself to others. It's hard because I know I shouldn't do it, but sometimes I can't help it. I get tired of the status quo in my life. Especially, when I see other people and their lives progressing and I feel like I'm standing still.

I know that I should be happy for the things that I do have in my favour. I know I should just take things one day at a time, but I want it all now and I've always been that way.

I had a co-worker today tell me, "Erin you need to just be. You need to stop trying to be Erin finding a guy or Erin working out all the time. You need to just be Erin. Wake up and just be."

It sounds great, but I'm not sure I just know how to be. I feel like I need to be doing something and if I'm not..then I'm not making things happen.

I realize that I could probably use a lesson in relaxing. I stress myself out when I don't need to.

LADIES...OLDER GUYS OR YOUNGER GUYS?

That will be my next post.

So think about guys that you like or have been with and what you prefer. If you have one.

MARRIED MEN...STAY AWAY! BAD NEWS!

The older I get the more I become aware of married men. When I was younger and sometimes even now I didn't think to look at the guy’s finger for a ring. However, in the last couple years I've started becoming more and more diligent about looking for the ring of "don't go there."

You might remember the story of the married guy that I met while in Milwaukee. He didn't wear his ring and in fact, when I found out he was married it was the classic "I'm so unhappy, my wife doesn't understand me" story.

Well, it's about a year later and those two are still married and from what I hear they look like a happy couple when they're at the gym together. Although, I think that the Mrs. has had some fun on the side for awhile.

Anyway, let's go the recent meetings of married men. In the last 2 weeks I've had 2 different married guys hit on me.

One was in Vegas at the ACM Awards. I was introduced to him by an associate of his. He is in the band for a VERY VERY famous country singer. We were having normal conversation till he made some off colour comment that was a bit forward.

He saw me look at his finger and I told him that a girl has to look for that stuff. He proceeded to tell me that his wife never wants to have relations with him and blah blah blah. When I asked, "If you're so unhappy why don't you just get divorced?" His response was, "Who said I’m unhappy?"

He then became even more forward with his trying to persuade me. I informed him that I'm not a Tiger Woods girl. He had a comeback for that one too. Saying that it was him that would be the A$$hole, not me. I couldn't believe my ears. The shear arrogance of this guy was unbelievable.

Needless to say, I started moving to different parts of the room to avoid his high pressure sales tactics.

Then, last week I was working an event at a bar for work. I was sitting with my coworker when 2 guys came up and started talking to us. Again, I noticed that one of them had a ring. He at first was being normal, but after several drinks and shots he became extremely flirty.

Telling me what an awesome girl I am and how gorgeous I am. Granted, all nice things to hear however, they sound better coming from a guy that's single.

I asked him what was on his finger. He said, "Oh, you and your questions." Obviously trying to avoid the subject. I asked, "Is that a wedding ring or did you get the ring at a flea market?" Again, he just tried to avoid it.

Turns out that the guy is indeed married and his friend even told me that he has 2 kids at home! AWESOME!

After meeting that guy I got sad a little. I just started to wonder, do all guys behave this way? Do they put on the facade that they are happy when they're at home and when they go out with the guys they act as though they are single? Part of me thought maybe I should stay single forever.

All of it made me sad. Not only are there men out there that act this way, but there are women who believe their crap or know its crap and don’t care.

Look at all the women that hooked up with Tiger knowing full and well that he was married with children. How despicable. Shame on all of them. Shame on the girl that doesn’t care if the guy's married. Shame on her for using the excuse "He's in an unhappy marriage." Shame on the girl that actually believes he'll leave his wife for you. Shame on the girl that doesn't think those actions hurt anyone. And shame on the guy that forgets that he made a commitment in front of God to love honour and cherish.

So the next time this may happen to you and you find yourself actually thinking that doing this would be a great idea. Just remember, you are hurting someone; and more than likely one of those people is yourself. Every action has a reaction and consequence.