In my recent years of dating I've noticed something. People love to talk about themselves. I, I, I, and ME, ME, ME. It even goes to the Internet with online dating. Let me explain.
As mentioned previously, I've tried online dating. From time to time I'll get an email. The one that sticks out is one that I received from a random guy whom I never spoke to. It literally started off, "I had a great weekend. On Saturday I flew to Chicago to visit MY brother. Blah Blah Blah.
Now this wouldn't have been so bad if I knew him or asked him about his weekend, but I didn't know this guy from Adam and he started giving me his life story.
I dated a guy for a second that loved telling me stories about himself. Problem is he NEVER asked me questions to get to know anything about me. When I mentioned that he never asks me anything, he said that he leaves it to the other person to talk about themselves. I DISAGREE. And how could I when he's always talking about himself.
When you never ask questions about the other person it gives the impression that you don't really care about that person, let alone getting to know them. I ask questions because I'm interested. I also like to tell stories, but it makes it hard to tell a story if the person you're with doesn't show any interest in anything you have to say.
I had a conversation with a guy and he said, "I like talking with you, we have good conversations." This precedes a 50 minute conversation that we had. More like he had and I just sat there going "uh-huh, yeah, wow, interesting."
For 50 minutes he told me all about him. His travels, his hobbies, his work, his working out, his writing. Funny thing, I kept waiting for him to direct a question my way and the only question he asked me was in the very beginning when he asked how things were going at work.
I think a lot of it has something to do with that these guys work in sales. They're always in sales mode. Trying to sell you on them, when really just be yourself and let it flow. It makes a girl think you're putting on a front or a show.
What's funny is, if they're in sales it would be wise for them to ask questions. If they're looking at you as a client, wouldn't it be wise to build a relationship with that client? You know...get to know that person.
I know we can all get a little wrapped up in ourselves at times. I'm guilty of it. I sometimes get so preoccupied with what I have going on that I forget to look outside myself for a second. I get so worried about my problems that I forget that my friends have they're own crap. I get it.
I just know that I'm seeing a trend of inwardly focused men. "I do this and I have this" type of guys. I just wonder if anyone cares about anyone other than themselves anymore.