ALWAYS SOMETHING TO REMIND TO ME

Who can forget the song from Naked Eyes "Always Something There to Remind Me"? As I write this blog I'm listening to it.



I thought of this song and the subject matter for this blog because of an event that happened earlier today. You see, no matter where you move, no matter how far, or what other people you encounter there are always things that remind you of certain person that made an impact on your life.

It doesn't matter if it's a restaurant that you went to with that someone from your past or when someone says a certain phrase, it somehow always reminds you of a certain person.

Like today, I'm driving in my car listening to the radio coming from the eye doctor. I hear 3 notes of a certain song and automatically HIS image pops in my head. I KNOW THAT SONG!!! THAT FRICKIN SONG! I only need to hear the first part of the beat...and I KNOW!!! Damn it! Every single time I hear it, it makes me think of him. UGH! Mr. Dallas!


I think that song was actually kind of our "unofficial song." Yeah, "Over My Head" from The Fray.



I remember mugging down listening to the song. And every time it seemed to be on the radio when we were driving, we would crank it up!

I hate it! No, not the song. I actually love the song, I hate the fact that EVERY TIME I HEAR IT...he pops in my head. Like a sinus infection. Seriously God, Why? It's been 2 and half years since we broke up. You'd think that God you could maybe...just maybe make me have amnesia with that.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I hate or dislike him, because I don't at all. It's just that, if that realationship wasn't meant to be, I wish I didn't always have the reminder of the pain I felt after we broke up.

A pain that still lingers a bit I think. A pain that lingered for 6 months after we broke up. A pain that made it hard for me to even want to try again.

Yet, every time I hear that song...I think of him. I think of the good times. I think of how sweet he was to me in the beginning, and how he appreciated me more than anyone I've encountered to this day. Damn that man Mr. Dallas!

I don't want people to think I'm super hung up on this guy but, I do know that he has been the ONLY person that has ever made me feel sexy, appreciated, and yet, has maybe hurt me more than anyone.

OK....I'M JUST SAYING...

I'm not a materialistic person. I like nice things....but I will NEVER pay full or retail price for anything. Hell, I went to the store to get dishwasher detergent only if they had it on sale.

It's not a necessity for me to wear the top designers. I LOVE to shop at Ross! It's cheap as hell and I love it! But here's my thing...if I could have maybe 2 big requests...I mean BIG. I would ask for a nice car and a nice place to live.

I found this on the Internet tonight and I thought to myself, "How dear God do I get that?" Here it is. the Mercedes Benz SLS AMG! God it's BEAUTIFUL!!!!





Most girls couldn't tell you how many cylinders are in their own car. I love cars! I think I got it from my mom. She knows all the old school cars. "That's a 57' Chevy."

I can't do that, but I can tell what cars is what even in the dark. I love German engineering!! My last 3 cars have been German. If I could afford to go the real big dogs I would!

I saw this car tonight and I'm going have it one day!

GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

Over the weekend, I spent a lot of time at home. Thinking, cleaning, and reading. I bought the new Joel Osteen Book while attending church one Sunday. I was raised in a very conservative Christian home as a child and even though I sometimes cuss like a sailor and bad poor choices, I still have my belief system.

I believe that God is there. I believe that God make things happen for you when all looks dark. He can make things happen that you couldn't imagine even to be possible. God works in mysterious ways.

Although I'm not a perfect Christian, or even a good one depending on who you talk to, I've always believed deep down in my heart that He was there. Even when the negative voice in me wants to get down in the dumps and think otherwise, I truly believe that things HAVE TO work out.

I can't tell you how many times God has made things work out for me in my life. Most of the times have been in my career.

It all goes back to when I was 19 and working for KUPL in Portland. I had a full time job with benefits. It wasn't my dream job but it was a great start at 19/20 years old.

I was a skinny, sassy little thing, that was pretty naive to a lot of things. One day at work my boss came up behind me and smacked my ass! He smacked it so hard that I know if I would have looked at it, I would've had a hand print on my butt.

I had just started dating my ex husband at the time. I told him the story and he insisted on me telling my other boss. As much as I was afraid to, I did.

Now, during this time I decided that I wanted to be full time on air. So I started looking around. Within a couple weeks I was told by my management that my position was being eliminated. I was crushed. I lived in my own apartment which I could not afford without my roommate. Who also just decided to leave me high and dry and move out all her stuff to live with her boyfriend.

When all seemed hopeless I got a call about a job In Eugene, OR! I was hired! I paid my last months rent, gave my 30 days, and I moved. God had a hand

Now flash forward past years of wondering about my career path and marriage issues. Let's talk about after my divorce. I was working in St. Louis for The Bull. I made hardly any money. I think they low balled me because my husband and I got hired at the same time and they gave him all them money. I was making less than 30K.

I decided that if I wanted to be the radio personality that I wanted to be and have my personality really shine I needed to do mornings. I wanted to leave anyway because my ex-husband became my boss after the divorce and I didn't need that.

Somehow Mathew Blades heard of me and wanted to get me to go for his old job in Denver. I told him I wanted to do mornings as my next stop. He said he was actually looking for a co-host for his new job. So I apply, interview, and I get the job. All in time before my company eliminates my day part, so they can voice track it. Again, God had a hand.

So now it's November 2008. The management at the station decides to "Blow up" the station and fire everyone. I was lucky to have a contract that was no-cut. So they couldn't fire me unless I did something stupid.

I started looking for a new job with months and months of not having much luck. I decided to write down all the things I wanted if I could hand pick where I worked. The 1st place I emailed was KILT in Houston...and well...it worked out. I don't make the money I did in Milwaukee but, sometimes you need to take a step back before you can move forward. Again, God had a hand.

I tell you these stories because deep down I know that God has a way of making things work out. He's showed it time and time again in my career. The only place I haven't felt like God has helped out a lot is in the LOVE department.

With heartbreak after heartbreak, I wonder when God is ever going to show a little mercy for me in that area.

I know I can be a hard one to handle but, I have a lot to offer and give. I'm a loyal, committed, honest, funny, caring, loving, affectionate, and REAL person. I don't lie, CHEAT, or do things to hurt people on purpose.

With all of that being said, if God can move mountains and bring the right people in my life for my career, how can I convince God to maybe give me a "cookie" one with love once in awhile?

WHY AM I BOTHERED? I'M NOT THE SUCKER

So over the weekend my ex-husband got remarried. I knew this was coming but, when this weekend hit for some reason I got bothered.

The reason for me getting bothered was not because I wanted him back...HECK NO!!! In that case, I say best of luck to wife #2. No, I'm bothered because in the 3 years since our divorce I haven't had anything close to getting married.

I'm glad that things worked out the way they have with my career. I got to do mornings in Milwaukee and do more TV work. I learned a lot in my 2 years there. And now I'm in a top 10 market on one of the biggest country stations in the country. I'm part of a legendary morning show and I'm in a place I've always wanted to live...TEXAS!

My disappointments are from the personal side of things. After my break up with Mr. Dallas I never had much luck. As I've said before I've been trying on a lot of shoes.

It's crazy to think that within that first year of being divorced, my ex-husband went from one college girl to the next and ended up with what I think was college girl # 3. So he found his next wife that fast?

I remember when we still would talked I asked about his relationship with her and if he saw himself getting married. He said, "Honestly Erin, I don't think I'm going to get remarried. I'm not sure I want to." Well, hell froze over because it looks like he changes his mind.

He might've just been blowing smoke up my butt(wouldn't surprise me) but, how are you dating someone a year...and don't want to get married anytime soon then within a year you decide to go for wife 2?

I wonder if the guy that was his best man for our wedding was the best man for wedding # 2? How does that toast go? "I knew that these were perfect for each other...wait I said that last time! I know they will live a long and happy life together...wait I said that last time!"

MY LONDON TRIP FOR CHRISTMAS WITH JUST ME

This Christmas I decided to take another trip alone. I had rolled a few ideas around and decided on London. I've always wanted to go there, so I decided to just go for it. I knew it was going to be expensive, and this time of the year is always the worst for me money wise...but you only live once.

When you tell someone that you're going on a trip alone, why is it people look at you as though you're a poor little soul? Granted, going on a trip with someone else would possibly be more fun but, if you can't enjoy your own company whose company can you enjoy? I think it's important to be able to do things alone.

People asked me, "Why don't you wait till you have a boyfriend?" Well, it could be awhile before that happens and you know what? I was with a man married and dating for 8 years, who had a sister that lived in Europe and we NEVER I repeat NEVER went to visit her and our niece and nephew. Which in my opinion was piss poor. So that's why you can't put things off when you can do it tomorrow.

I thought when I went over to London I'd hear all these people speak with fabulous British accents...not so much. I felt like I heard more speaking French than anything. Although, London is a very international city so I guess I shouldn't be surprised.



I enjoyed a bid plate of fish and chips along with a half pint of beer. I can't do a pint...that's too much beer. I walked around Central London a ton. So after a long day it was good to have some deep fried fish. I'm kidding a little.



One thing that I learned from my past trips to London is be careful when shopping. It's so easy to walk around and end up spending too much. I came back from both Rome and Paris with so much stuff that I bought. This time I was good and spent most of my money on souvenirs for other people. Harrods was a stop I had to make...even if it was only to buy tea towels and magnets.



I took a day trip to Windsor Castle, Stonehenge, and Bath. All were interesting and beautiful in their own way. All are places that you hear so much about. I've always heard of Stonehenge, but to be honest I have no idea what its all about. Bath England was a different place for me. I had no idea about the Romans coming over there to basically detox in these baths that they built.



Overall, it was a good trip. I learned a few things, saw a lot and met a lot of interesting people too.

FINDING FRIENDS IS LIKE FINDING A BOYFRIEND...TOUGH!!!

Since moving here to Houston I've been finding it hard to make friends. I met a girl right when I got here that I thought might be cool but, it was so hard to connect. She either flaked or would ask me to do something at the last minute and expect me to ditch my work friends...or so it seemed. Like I said, it was hard to connect with her so it could've been a big misunderstanding.

When I moved to Milwaukee I lucked out in the friends department. I had landlord that was my age and she was so great about inviting me places. Then I met my friend "Reba". She actually called the morning show and told my co-host to have me call her. I thought at first, "This is weird." But then I thought about it more and figured "What the Hell!"

Then I met another one of my best friends at work. I worked at a station with a TV station in the building. There was this girl that worked the same shift as me and I would see her reporting out in the middle of nowhere all the time. So one day I went up to her and made a comment about how I feel bad they always stick her out in the boonies! Some how it came up that we're both single and I mentioned that I have no life. She invited me out with some other girls that I didn't know from work. We all talked and things clicked from there. Through her I met another one of my good friends.

It was so easy. It just seemed to fall into place. We all liked the same stuff and it was easy for me to hang out with my friend "Melinda" because we had the same schedule. We worked out together, went grocery shopping together, made dinner together sometimes. It was great!! I miss that.

Now, I'm in a new city where I don't know a ton of people yet. My job has been keeping me busy so I can't too lonely but, I'm starting get worried about when am I going to get some good girlfriends.

I've meet girls and they're fine. I just don't have a crew! Ya know? Like my Sex and the City crew Houston style. The crew of girls that you call up and grab a happy hour with. It could even be last minute. I need to find my girls that are there, and they get it!

I need to find some girls that like going to a wine bar, or grabbing sushi at happy hour so we can save money, or a girl willing to try a nice restaurant with me just because we want to try it.

Finding good girlfriends is really like finding a boyfriend. It's tough. Sure there's lots of great people out there...but it doesn't mean they're all a fit for you. Then again, I've had some bad 1st date experiences and maybe those guys are not a fit for anyone. TRUST ME WHEN I SAY I'VE MET SOME FREAKS!! My friends know about that experience! HELLO AMERICA'S MOST WANTED!!

Seriously, I know I was really lucky to have found the group of friends that I did. All layer of them. the close ones, the semi close ones. all of them. In the 2 short years I lived there I met great girlfriends...I just hope that it will happen here too. The boyfriend thing...well...God will figure that out!

I LOVE HOW PEOPLE THINK THEY KNOW!!!

I love it when people read my blog, write a comment and give me a judgemental smack down as if they know all and are so much smarter.

I love it when people think that they could live your life better for you.

I love it when people that you've never met, act as though they know everything about you and how you REALLY ARE!

I know that sometimes I think I have things figured out but, I admit I have a lot to learn. It's a day by day, step by step process. You try things out and if doesn't work try something else.

I love that people read an entry or two of mine on this blog and come to the conclusion of what I'm like everyday of my life. Like they know all my thoughts and what makes me tick.

One thing to know about this blog...it's a place that I go to if I have a thought. Sometimes the thoughts are somewhat the same. Does that mean I'm obsessed? No, it means that I think a lot. I'm a very open and communicative person.

I am complex just like everyone else...so don't sit here and think that you have me figured out...because you don't especially if you've never even talked or meet with me.

OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!! DO NOT...I REPEAT DO NOT POST ON MY BLOG ANONYMOUSLY!!! I find it to be cowardly an frankly if you can't make up a name to post then you're dumb because you can't even think of SOMETHING! I mean really??? I only post them to be fair...but when you sit behind NO name...and chastise me...then you are lame!

So do me a favour...if you don't agree with what I have to say that day...come up with at least a fake name to post with.

I know I open myself up for criticism and that's fine but remember, I have feelings too and when you are degrading, rude, cruel, and judgemental a real person is the one you're doing that too.