As my birthday hits next week, I think back to my last serious relationship. It ended right before my 30th birthday. When I got the "dump speech" he made sure to tell me that I'd have no problem finding another guy. I think the moment those words came out of his mouth he jinxed me. Since then, I've had a hard time finding someone that makes me feel anything.
When I look back, I never would've guessed that I would have this hard of a time finding someone. Considering how easy some people make it look. Jumping from one relationship to the next.
Sometimes when I think about where I maybe in 5 years and the possibility of still being single, I envision people asking me, "How come you're still single? How have you NEVER really dated anyone?" I imagine that my answer would be the same as if I were to give it right now. 'I'm single because it just never happened for me. I never met someone that I liked that ever really liked me back.'
I've lived here in Houston 3 years now and haven't dated anyone more than 2 months maybe 3. And that was when I first moved here. Flash forward....and sitting still.
I meet people all the time because of work. I go about and live my life. I hang out with my friends for dinners, drinks or brunch on a weekly basis. Yet, I rarely met anyone that I'm interested in.
You always hear stories about fate bringing people together by a chance meeting. Like the couple that met on a flight or at the airport. Or in line at the grocery store. I always end up sitting on the plane next to the fat guy taking half of my seat and in line behind the 80 year-old woman writing a check. I just don't understand how I can meet someone.
Most times when I go on a date with someone or meet someone for the first time, I have the "ehh" feeling. You know...the feeling that if I didn't go out with them again it wouldn't make a difference. The feeling where I'm sitting across the table from a guy having awkward conversation thinking about am I even attracted to them at all.
I'd love to meet someone and feel the butterflies. You know...the za za zoo! Someone I have an instant connection with and have that feeling be mutual. I want to meet someone where it just comes with ease to be in their company. and someone I want to spend time with and have no problem putting them in my schedule.
How do you ever find that person? Is everyone better at it than I am? Or is everyone else looking at what's on paper vs. the feeling they get when they're with that person?
In a world with so many people, why is it taking half of my life to find him?
6 comments:
You sound jaded from the dating experience. Most people in their 30s are though since they're mostly set in their ways a lot more compared to when they were in their 20s.
Just remember though, dating is really never easy for most people. It's not just you.
It is very hard these days - I feel your pain. Part of it is like the previous post says - you may have been so hurt by your previous relationship(s)that you make it harder on yourself. I can say that because i live it every day. I have been divorced now for 10 years and have yet to find the "right" person. In the mean time, I have seen several of my friends get divorced and remarried within a short amount of time. Sometimes I ask myself what is wrong with me. I think it is a matter of "settling" for me. I am not going to settle for anyone that doesn't hold my interest, nor am I going to settle for someone that I am not attracted to - both physically and emotionally. I am far from a 10 and I am not looking for a 10 in the looks department either, but I am looking for MY 10!! I'm not exactly sure how old you are, but I just turned 40 and at this age, it is very hard to find that person...especially in this city.
Just stick to looking for YOUR 10 - but just know, that your definition of "10" may change as time goes on. Don't try to find the same type of person you were looking for when you were in your 20's. You sound like a wonderful woman...be patient and always go out with a smile on your face - the person will notice when it's time!!!! Have a great day!
When you are younger, lust overpowers common sense. Sometimes young people luck out. You occasionally hear stories about people who got married when they were 18 and are still married umpteen years later. When you get older, you are a little wiser, and maybe a little more picky. Some people I know have had luck with computer dating.
Just stop looking for it! It will come when you are ready. It will come when you aren't seeking it out. Be the BEST you that you can be and it will happen when you are ready. A man should never be the one to complete you - just be the cherry on top. Be happy and be you!
"Just stop looking for it" that the last commenter mentioned is unfortunately what most people believe when it comes to romance. Real life isn't the movies. Fate and chance meetings, while great if it happens, is probably a long shot in real life. If someone wants a job, they have to actively seek it out. The same should apply to their romantic lives as well if they want a companion.
You are not alone Erin. I'm 33, still single and every day I think I will be this way FOREVER!!
I haven't given up on finding Mr. Right, and really hope I do one day...but for now I am happy enough with where I am.
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