HOW DO YOU STOP LOOKING? WHAT IS LOOKING?

I love the advice that people in relationships give to people that are single, "When you stop looking that's when it happens.' But how do you ever stop looking?

I've been single for 2 and half years now. I've had little "mini relationships" here and there but, nothing that has ever lasted more than a month or 2.

I was talking to girlfriend about this very subject today. We were talking about how we hate when people tell us that. Here's why. How do you REALLY stop looking? Then you think you've stopped looking but really you look even more. Or you get paranoid that if you find someone attractive...that means you're looking.

So does that mean if I see a guy say at the gym, and I think he's kind of cute, am I looking?

It's hard enough to meet good people these days. But am I supposed to wait for "Love" to come smack me upside my head? I know I shouldn't go around looking for a guy everywhere I go. I get that. No need to be crazy like the astronuat lady.

I actually got a very nice email from a girl that has been following thisblog. She wanted to let me know not to get discouraged. To keep the faith Se went on to tell me that she too had many of the same things happen to her in the dating world. She also told me that she met her current boyfriend at a random hole in the wall bar while out of town on business.

So for her I get that she wasn't looking for it just then. It was a completely random event and sounds to me like it happened when she least expected it. Which is a really cute story.

I don't think it happens for everyone like that. So is it wrong to try to give love a push? You know, be on a site like match.com. Technically that's looking!!!Isn't it?

I just feel like it works different for everyone. And is it a bad thing to meet a boyfriend or girlfriend off a dating site?

How about a little old school flavour for ya!

DO GUYS LIKE FUNNY GIRLS?

Every once in awhile I'll have someone tell me that I look like Amy Poehler. You know from SNL! She also was Andy Richter’s little sister Stacy on Conan O'Brien's show.





Every time someone says I look or act like her I think in way its compliment and then...in a way I don't. It's not like Amy Poehler is the hottest chick. Can't some say I look like a hot chick? Then again, I do think it is a compliment because she is rather funny.

Today my friend "Rachel" told me that I really do look like her. To which I replied, "Thanks. A lot guys don't like funny girls...they just think they're funny."

After I said that I started thinking. Have you ever heard a guy talk about the reasons why he likes a girl and he starts off with "I love that she's funny."? I don't think I have. They always seem start with She's so sweet or she's hot. It's never, "Oh she has the best personality" or "She is so funny, she makes me laugh." Or maybe the guys I hear like surface stuff.

I know girls love a guy that makes them laugh. I know I do. How do you think Will Ferrell got married? Although, I haven't dated a lot of guys that made me laugh a lot. I guess I should expect that if I date a guy that is a scientist or something.

I've been on Match.com for some time now. Honestly, maybe a little too long. But in the time I've been on there, I don't ever remember seeing in the description of what a guy wants in a girl, him ever using the word FUNNY. Never have I seen a guy say "I want a girl that can make me laugh."

Why is that?

WHAT'S A GIRL GOTTA DO?

A couple of months ago I talked to an ex boyfriend of mine. I had recently gone on a few horrific 1st dates. I mean simply horrible. I knew that he had been on match.com for awhile so I wanted to compare notes of what kind of girls he was finding. I just needed to know that I wasn't the only person having a hard time finding someone.

You see, ever since he and I broke up I've only dated guys for a month or two a piece. Sometimes, when I get frustrated with it all I wonder to myself..."Is it ME?"

During our conversation I discovered he didn't have much more luck than I did. Although, he has dated someone for at least 6 months where that hasn't been the case for me. Obviously.

One thing I noticed is that a couple of the girls he dated had some SERIOUS issues!! Like eating disorder serious. In fact, he dated 2 different girls after me with eating disorders. And, he dated at least 1 girl before me with one too.

I don't know how he seems to attract girls with eating issues and why he continues to date them. Maybe he likes to be the hero and try to fix them. Not sure. And this guy is extremely picky. AND...I'm sure these girls are great girls otherwise. And I mean that. I'm not being a snot.

Now, let me just say. I don't have an eating disorder of any kind. I LOVE FOOD! In fact, there's not a type of food I won't eat. The only thing I won't eat is peanuts and maybe some weird sushi thing like octopus.

I have a saying that "I tend not to eat things with eyelashes." Meaning, no steak or pork. Although, I will eat those things sometimes. If I go to Ruths' Chris Steakhouse...I'm gonna eat a steak! Oh! And no babies! I don't eat babies. Meaning, NO lamb or veal.

OK back to the story. After I got done talking to him about these girls and their ailments, it got me thinking. Really, you'd rather date girls like that then a girl like me? I even said to him, "No offense, but I think I'm the most normal girl you've ever dated." To which he replied, "You know...I think you're right!"

It just got me kind of bummed. I was bummed because I think I'm a pretty cool chick. I'm not a whiner. I don't expect guys to give me everything. I'll eat anything. I'm not materialistic. I'm not spoiled. I'm not completely needy. Although, I do expect you to treat me well. Yet, these girls, that have these serious issues are getting guys. WTF?


Should I start having an eating disorder so I can get a boyfriend? Do I need to be a materialistic biatch to have a guy call? I'm mean REALLY people! Now, of course I'm kidding! It's just all a little ridiculous.

MEN AND WOMEN...THOUGHTS FOR BOTH SEXES

Ladies and Gentlemen: I have advice and some random thoughts for both sexes.

After I got into a little trouble with a guy I dated, who was just a little too private I decided that maybe we could all set the record straight on a few things.

1. MEN: WOMEN NOTICE PATTERNS

If you are that guy that would surprise your lady or would call all the time, we notice when you stop.

This has happened to me quite a bit. I notice when you don't keep your word like you used to, you flake out, and stop making time among other things.

There has been several times where I've kind of kept track of it and have called the guys out on it and I basically make them break up with me. When I was dating Banker boy in Milwaukee I could tell he was taking me for granted. He wanted the benefits of a girlfriend but, always wanted to do what he wanted. When I called him out on it, I said, "I have a feeling you want to break up with me but you don't have the balls to do it."

After about 10 minutes of him mumbling and finally me just saying, "Be honest, what do you want to do?" He did it. Now, he moved on to a new girl rather quickly but he always came knocking on my door and calling.

2. LADIES: TAKE A HINT!

Especially, if he doesn't call or want to hang out with you. It really is true...if they wanted to call, they would call. If they really wanted to go out with you, they would.

One of my friends has a history with dating total LOSERS! She is drop dead gorgeous, really smart, and does well for herself yet; somehow, she is attracted to guys that can barely take care of themselves.

She has been hung up on a certain guy for about a year now. Every time you talk to her that's all he talks about is "Paul." Paul this and Paul that. "I saw Paul getting it on with another woman. Paul said that I make him sick. Paul said that I'm pretty but that's about it."

HOW MANY SIGNS FROM GOD DO YOU NEED TO WAKE UP AND FIGURE OUT THIS GUY IS A 100% LOSER WHO DOESN'T WANT YOU????

We all try telling her but, there's no use. It's like talking a brick wall. She just keeps repeating a cycle. She just keeps making excuses for him. "Well he used to be so sweet to me." THE KEY PHRASE...USED TO!

The sad thing is that some people are afraid to take her phone call for fear all she will talk about is him for an hour without asking about your day.

3. MEN: CALL WHEN YOU SAY YOU WILL...BETTER YET...JUST RESPOND BACK

It seems like a rather simple request from women but for some reason men have a hard time understanding why we get upset about this.

I had an issue with this recently. There was a guy I was semi-seeing. He said he couldn't call because it was too much money to call from Canada but he'd call in a few days. Yet, texting seemed fine because he kept doing that. So, a couple days go by and nothing. No call. Not even a response to my last text. After day 3, I decided to shoot him a text. Again no response. In fact, I got no response until SUNDAY AT MIDNIGHT my time!!

Really? I get that people are busy but you can't even respond until MIDNIGHT!!! Then you claim you were so busy? I smelled fish! I had already written him off but I guess I was hoping that maybe I was wrong. I wasn't and here's why. If you don't have enough respect for me to return a text or a call until midnight Sunday night after having the entire weekend then no thanks. I don't need to have a guy fawn all over me but at least be respectful, courteous, and NOT SHADY!

These are a few of the thoughts I had. I'm sure there will be more.

ALWAYS SOMETHING TO REMIND TO ME

Who can forget the song from Naked Eyes "Always Something There to Remind Me"? As I write this blog I'm listening to it.



I thought of this song and the subject matter for this blog because of an event that happened earlier today. You see, no matter where you move, no matter how far, or what other people you encounter there are always things that remind you of certain person that made an impact on your life.

It doesn't matter if it's a restaurant that you went to with that someone from your past or when someone says a certain phrase, it somehow always reminds you of a certain person.

Like today, I'm driving in my car listening to the radio coming from the eye doctor. I hear 3 notes of a certain song and automatically HIS image pops in my head. I KNOW THAT SONG!!! THAT FRICKIN SONG! I only need to hear the first part of the beat...and I KNOW!!! Damn it! Every single time I hear it, it makes me think of him. UGH! Mr. Dallas!


I think that song was actually kind of our "unofficial song." Yeah, "Over My Head" from The Fray.



I remember mugging down listening to the song. And every time it seemed to be on the radio when we were driving, we would crank it up!

I hate it! No, not the song. I actually love the song, I hate the fact that EVERY TIME I HEAR IT...he pops in my head. Like a sinus infection. Seriously God, Why? It's been 2 and half years since we broke up. You'd think that God you could maybe...just maybe make me have amnesia with that.

Don't get me wrong, it's not that I hate or dislike him, because I don't at all. It's just that, if that realationship wasn't meant to be, I wish I didn't always have the reminder of the pain I felt after we broke up.

A pain that still lingers a bit I think. A pain that lingered for 6 months after we broke up. A pain that made it hard for me to even want to try again.

Yet, every time I hear that song...I think of him. I think of the good times. I think of how sweet he was to me in the beginning, and how he appreciated me more than anyone I've encountered to this day. Damn that man Mr. Dallas!

I don't want people to think I'm super hung up on this guy but, I do know that he has been the ONLY person that has ever made me feel sexy, appreciated, and yet, has maybe hurt me more than anyone.

OK....I'M JUST SAYING...

I'm not a materialistic person. I like nice things....but I will NEVER pay full or retail price for anything. Hell, I went to the store to get dishwasher detergent only if they had it on sale.

It's not a necessity for me to wear the top designers. I LOVE to shop at Ross! It's cheap as hell and I love it! But here's my thing...if I could have maybe 2 big requests...I mean BIG. I would ask for a nice car and a nice place to live.

I found this on the Internet tonight and I thought to myself, "How dear God do I get that?" Here it is. the Mercedes Benz SLS AMG! God it's BEAUTIFUL!!!!





Most girls couldn't tell you how many cylinders are in their own car. I love cars! I think I got it from my mom. She knows all the old school cars. "That's a 57' Chevy."

I can't do that, but I can tell what cars is what even in the dark. I love German engineering!! My last 3 cars have been German. If I could afford to go the real big dogs I would!

I saw this car tonight and I'm going have it one day!

GOD WORKS IN MYSTERIOUS WAYS

Over the weekend, I spent a lot of time at home. Thinking, cleaning, and reading. I bought the new Joel Osteen Book while attending church one Sunday. I was raised in a very conservative Christian home as a child and even though I sometimes cuss like a sailor and bad poor choices, I still have my belief system.

I believe that God is there. I believe that God make things happen for you when all looks dark. He can make things happen that you couldn't imagine even to be possible. God works in mysterious ways.

Although I'm not a perfect Christian, or even a good one depending on who you talk to, I've always believed deep down in my heart that He was there. Even when the negative voice in me wants to get down in the dumps and think otherwise, I truly believe that things HAVE TO work out.

I can't tell you how many times God has made things work out for me in my life. Most of the times have been in my career.

It all goes back to when I was 19 and working for KUPL in Portland. I had a full time job with benefits. It wasn't my dream job but it was a great start at 19/20 years old.

I was a skinny, sassy little thing, that was pretty naive to a lot of things. One day at work my boss came up behind me and smacked my ass! He smacked it so hard that I know if I would have looked at it, I would've had a hand print on my butt.

I had just started dating my ex husband at the time. I told him the story and he insisted on me telling my other boss. As much as I was afraid to, I did.

Now, during this time I decided that I wanted to be full time on air. So I started looking around. Within a couple weeks I was told by my management that my position was being eliminated. I was crushed. I lived in my own apartment which I could not afford without my roommate. Who also just decided to leave me high and dry and move out all her stuff to live with her boyfriend.

When all seemed hopeless I got a call about a job In Eugene, OR! I was hired! I paid my last months rent, gave my 30 days, and I moved. God had a hand

Now flash forward past years of wondering about my career path and marriage issues. Let's talk about after my divorce. I was working in St. Louis for The Bull. I made hardly any money. I think they low balled me because my husband and I got hired at the same time and they gave him all them money. I was making less than 30K.

I decided that if I wanted to be the radio personality that I wanted to be and have my personality really shine I needed to do mornings. I wanted to leave anyway because my ex-husband became my boss after the divorce and I didn't need that.

Somehow Mathew Blades heard of me and wanted to get me to go for his old job in Denver. I told him I wanted to do mornings as my next stop. He said he was actually looking for a co-host for his new job. So I apply, interview, and I get the job. All in time before my company eliminates my day part, so they can voice track it. Again, God had a hand.

So now it's November 2008. The management at the station decides to "Blow up" the station and fire everyone. I was lucky to have a contract that was no-cut. So they couldn't fire me unless I did something stupid.

I started looking for a new job with months and months of not having much luck. I decided to write down all the things I wanted if I could hand pick where I worked. The 1st place I emailed was KILT in Houston...and well...it worked out. I don't make the money I did in Milwaukee but, sometimes you need to take a step back before you can move forward. Again, God had a hand.

I tell you these stories because deep down I know that God has a way of making things work out. He's showed it time and time again in my career. The only place I haven't felt like God has helped out a lot is in the LOVE department.

With heartbreak after heartbreak, I wonder when God is ever going to show a little mercy for me in that area.

I know I can be a hard one to handle but, I have a lot to offer and give. I'm a loyal, committed, honest, funny, caring, loving, affectionate, and REAL person. I don't lie, CHEAT, or do things to hurt people on purpose.

With all of that being said, if God can move mountains and bring the right people in my life for my career, how can I convince God to maybe give me a "cookie" one with love once in awhile?