IF YOU'RE STILL HOOKED ON EX...DON'T DATE!

There's a saying, "The best way to get over someone is to get under someone."  While there might be some people that think this actually works, I don't believe it ever really helps.

I know there have been times where I thought that if I found someone great, I would be able to move on from my last relationship faster.  Granted, at times those people might've been a great distraction, ego boost, or whatever, but they didn't help me really get over the ex.  Also, they weren't wanting something that I didn't. Meaning, the guys weren't wanting to be serious and I was messing with their heads. If anything, I probably thought I was wanting something serious, but wasn't really ready at the time.

One thing I've learned over the last several years in dating and dating apps, is that you never really know where people's heads are at and what their intentions are.  Maybe I've been naive, but I guess I take for granted the fact that not everyone on a dating app or site is wanting to find a relationship.  So many people are on there to pass their time or just get laid.  

Awhile back I dated a guy that was SOOOO not over his ex. Granted, I didn't know that at the time, but I figured out pretty quick.  Even though he was acting like he liked me and inviting to family functions, I believe I was person that he was looking to help get over his ex.  He even planned a trip for us, but when I called him out on some of his shady behavior, he called things off because I reminded him of her.  Despite the fact that I reminded him of his ex, within days he was back with her and took her on the trip that he had planned and booked for me to go on. (literally 2 days later) Really awesome right? (By the way, I didn't find out that he did that until way later)

Well over the next several months those two were playing the most wicked game of relationship ping pong I've ever observed.  One minute, they're done, not speaking to each other and blocking each other on social media. Then a couple days go by and they're back up each other's butts.  Seriously, it's some of the most toxic relationship crap I've ever observed and unfortunately I was in the middle.  I somehow became "that girl" that when she wasn't giving him attention and he was mad at her then all of the sudden he's interested again.  Finally I had enough of being manipulated.  No one deserves that crap.

The reason I bring up that situation is because they both were using other people to get over each other.  He was using me and other women for attention, sex, and acting like he wanted a relationship. While she was using other guys to go on dates to make him jealous.  

I firmly believe that if you're not over an ex, you have ABSOLUTELY NO business dating.  If you're looking to get laid, then you need to be upfront and just "Hey! I'm not looking for anything serious at all, so if you're still game then cool."  Don't be selfish. If you're not over an ex, don't go through the motions and act as though you care about someone new when really you're just using them as a placebo.