ARE YOU A LOUIS VUITTON?

During my recent trip to Spain, I met a guy in Madrid.  While we chatted and got to know each other over several glasses of Spanish wine, he told me that he writes a blog. I said, “Wait! I write a blog!  What do you write about?”  He said he writes about various topics, but one of the topics is relationships.  Again, I was like “Hey! I do too!”  He had me read a few that he wrote in English and they were really good!  I could tell after reading just the first paragraph that he was a deep thinker.  Granted, he studied psychology in college, but his writing was deep, but also with feeling.  There was a blog that he told me about that wasn’t in English asking “Are you a Louis Vuitton?”

When I got back stateside, I had my Spanish speaking friend translate his blog for me.  There were several things that stuck out to me.  I’m paraphrasing, but he wrote, “You’re the envy of people, and have so much that people wish they had.  Your parents are proud of you.  You do great things.  You are valuable.  You are like a prized Louis Vuitton bag.  So why do you treat yourself like a grocery bag?” 

He talked about how women, we devalue ourselves because of the person we are with.  We let the person we are with take advantage of our weaknesses.  We let them treat us less than we are worth because we are afraid.  We let others treat us less than because we’re more comfortable with the bad with him, then the good that could be with someone else.  That fear of starting over.  So we settle to be treated like a grocery bag.  We settle for what is comfortable even if it’s not what is best for us.  He said that if we stood up for ourselves with a smile that they would have to change.  If they didn’t, we shouldn’t worry about the loneliness that may follow because it never ends badly.

After listening to my friend translate it, I examined myself and my life.  I went through my recent relationships and attempted relationships.  My last major relationship was one that ended terribly.  He was someone that was incredibly manipulative and did some very unconscionable things.  I learned how truly terrible people can be and it made me question a lot in people.  That ended because he left me with no choice.

I looked at a situation where I was interested in dating someone.  That was a situation I should’ve walked away after the first date, but because I thought he was attractive and funny I decided to take less than I deserve because of a “maybe.”  Maybe he’ll change his mind; maybe he’ll be ready to date soon.  I finally realized my worth and walked.

Lastly, I looked at my last attempt at a relationship.  One that I thought could actually be something really really good.  Someone who I thought really liked me and appreciated me for the person I am.  However, when I was honest with my feelings and my concerns about something he had done, instead of standing up, understanding, working through it and making changes...he decided he wouldn’t deal with it and walked away.  That sucked.  However, I am proud of myself for realizing my worth and telling him how I didn’t appreciate what he was doing.  It didn’t end like my Spanish friend said it might, with him realizing my worth and changing his ways.  It ended much differently.  Although, he did admit that I’m an amazing catch...so apparently he’s not in the market for a Louis Vuitton bag right now.  Maybe he’s more in the market for that grocery bag my Spanish friend mentioned.

I think a lot of ladies deep down know what we deserve, but we are scared we’ll never find it or that it doesn’t exist.  Or we’re scared that we’ll be alone forever.  God knows I’ve thought that before.  I know I stayed around in the first relationship I mentioned because I was convincing myself that it wasn’t that bad.  Deep down I knew I should’ve been treated better, but I was willing to stay for whatever reason.  I can say now that maybe it’s a good thing he did the things he did, because maybe if he hadn’t, I might be still be dealing with his excuses and would be incredibly unhappy inside.

I’m getting better with standing up for myself.  Some of my friends tell me that when someone walks out my life that I should have an attitude of “On to the next one!”  Part of me does feel that way, but I still get bummed when they don’t realize what a great catch I am and what I have to offer...so sometimes I take it personally.  Maybe I need to tell myself over and over that I am a Louis and if he wants some other girl, then sorry about your downgrade.

I think truly understanding my value and what I deserve is one of the reasons I’ve decided to take a break from dating for a while.  Deep down I do know what a great catch I am.  I know that I’m a person with A LOT to offer and possess really amazing qualities.  I mean, let’s brag on me for a second.  I am independent, self-sufficient, funny, thoughtful, caring, compassionate, attractive, fun, loyal, adventurous, faithful, hardworking, sexy, smart, and the list goes on.  I have a great career that I worked hard for.  I pay for my own stuff.  I bought my own house.  I love deeply.  I think deeply. Heck...I traveled the world BY MYSELF!!  I am a good person, a great catch and most of all I have a good heart.  Someone just told me that “Erin, girls like you don’t come around a lot and you deserve someone who will treat you that way.”

There are times that I see what guys choose over me and I do get frustrated.  I think “I’m such a better catch than what they’re hanging out with and yet...they want that?”  But then again, going back to what I said in an earlier blog, sometimes guys want what is easy at the time.  Or maybe they do realize what a great catch I am and know that they can’t give me what I need.  So they leave and go to be with what’s comfortable for them.  Will it hurt the next time I meet someone I like that doesn’t appreciate me and what I have to offer?  I'm sure it will.  However, like my Spanish friend said, that pain is only temporary.

Remember ladies, Louis Vuitton handbags are something not everyone can afford. They are expensive; and you can’t get them just any old place.  Sure, there are imitations, but they aren't the quality of the real thing. They are in fact, just that...imitations. 

Sure, Michael Kors handbags are nice, but you can get them at an outlet mall for several hundred dollars. Louis Vuitton handbags cost thousands of dollars.  

So ask yourself...Are you the grocery bag? Are you the outlet Michael Kors handbag? Or are you a valuable and prized Louis Vuitton handbag that you can’t get just anywhere?