Friday, October 6, 2017

ONE MAN'S TRASH IS ANOTHER MAN'S TREASURE

You've heard that term used when it comes to things that people throw out.  Something that someone saw as junk and someone else found a great use for it.  That goes for people too.


We all meet people who don't appreciate us.  We also meet people that we probably don't fully appreciate.  Let me tell you about the moment when this happened in my life and how it hit me.

I had started talking to a guy back in March or so. After texting and meeting up for drinks a couple of times he told me that he wasn't wanting to date anyone serious right now.  Well...OK then!  We were still friends, but it was more like friends that would mess around here and there.  Like a total idiot I liked him and hoped that he'd change his mind.

Eventually, I grew tired of being the girl that he would say "Hi" to and would only want to hang out with maybe once a month.  I felt as though I was wasting my time on someone that didn't appreciate me or give a crap about me as a person. So I stopped talking to him.  I'm not really sure what he thought of me.  I do think he thought I had some good qualities and I had things that he liked in someone, but I'm not sure if in his mind he looked at me as that chick he can text if he had no other options.  By the amount I heard from him and saw him...it's probably a safe bet that that's how he thought of me.   I feel like I was just a girl on the list.

Coming to terms with the notion that that's probably how he felt about me hurt a lot.  I second guessed my worth and my value.  I wondered if I'd ever find someone that appreciates me. I got mad at myself for taking the scraps for as long as I did.  I even sat down and wrote a list of my good and bad qualities.  Some of my guy friends helped a lot and shared what they thought were some of my good qualities, even some bad ones too. They thought of things I wouldn't have. They helped me see all the things that I bring to the table that this guy didn't care about. My guy friends also helped me realize that I wasn't getting treated well and that I deserved better.




Then, not long after I stopped talking to that guy,  I met someone else.  This guy was super nice and he asked me out on dates...REAL DATES!  He seemed genuinely interested and you know what else?  He actually gave me compliments and told me how pretty I was.  WHAT????  This is crazy! (I don't think the other guy ever paid me a genuine compliment.)  I'm not going to lie, I was wondering at first if there was something wrong with him because he seemed so interested.  He'd tell me that he like to see me again and he'd actually follow through and take me dinner!


After I stopped over analyzing why this new guy liked me, I had to laugh to myself.  Here I went from a guy that would barely text me back, rarely wanted to hang out, always seemed too busy, acted inappropriately, and pretty much didn't seem give a crap about me. (I'm not sure if he even looked at me as a friend.)  Maybe to him I was just that girl on the radio that he hooked up with and if he was bored, then I would hear from him.  He didn't seem to have any respect for me or value me as a person. He didn't seem to care about my feelings. He didn't seem to appreciate my good qualities. He probably just thought of me as notch. Then I go to a guy that wants to hang out 3 times in one week. He wants to be around me.  He takes me on real dates and plans things.  He includes me where he doesn't have to. He compliments me and tells me things that he likes about me as a person.  He acknowledges what I have to offer. How can this be?

It's crazy to think that I'm the same person and have been myself with both of these guys, yet the one guy could have frickin cared less and treated me like I really didn't matter. Then the other guy enjoys hanging out with me and wants to get to know me as a person. How can two people treat you so differently?

It really is like what the one guy didn't care to have, the other is happy to have found it.  It also just goes to show you that there IS someone who will appreciate you. It may not always work out, but it can at least give you hope and let you know it can happen.



 


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