Wednesday, June 29, 2011
HAVE MEN BECOME LAZY?
I'm not talking in the physical sense or work wise. We all know men work very hard. I'm talking in the sense of dating. Has the modern man lost his touch when it comes to getting a woman? Or has the modern woman made it too entirely easy?
I might've mentioned this before, but I think a lot of women are told by their father when they're young that if a guy really likes you he'll move mountains to be with you. And if the guy really likes you he really try to get your attention.
A common complaint from my single girlfriends is that most men don't try anymore. Men just make the effort like they used to. You always hear the stories of guys going over and above to try and get the lady of his affection. Now it seems that if the guy can't get the girl right away and get what he wants...well like the Jay-Z songs says...On to the next one!
Example #1 - NO DATES JUST HANGING OUT
Seems like the days having having an old fashioned date are over. The days where a guy would take you to dinner are few and far between. And the guy bringing you flowers...forget about it!
Rarely when I go on a "date" with a guy does he take me out to a restaurant. Lately I'm noticing it's more of meeting up for drinks or meeting all of his friends out on a Friday so you can "hang out."
Not sure if it's age thing or not, but some of my younger girlfriends have been going out with guys that either all they want to do is meet in a big group or they think they're gonna be on a date and the guy brings a few of his buddies along.
Example #2 - NO CALLING JUST TEXTING
I know communication has changed a lot since when our parents dated. Heck, they're even different than when I first started dating. However, we still have phones and for some reason men tend to only use them for their texting capabilities.
Remember the days when a guy would actually call you and might be on the phone for hours and hours? Talking about everything and sometimes nothing at all. Now you're lucky if he responds back to your text in an hour. A conversation that once took 15 minutes now takes 3 hours all because it's via text.
And don't get me started on texting and asking girls out. Guys rarely actually pick up the phone and call you to ask you out anymore. Now they just send a text hoping that you respond back with at least "Sure."
I can't tell you how often the texting to ask for a date happens, but it happens too much!
I have a co-worker that tells me NEVER and I repeat NEVER go out with a guy that asks me out by text. At first, I thought that was a bit harsh but after I went out with the last guy that asked me out via text and seeing as how that working out I think maybe I'll stick with the tougher rule for a while and see what happens!
Example # 3 - NON DECISIVE NO PLAN
When it actually turns out that both parties have agreed on getting together then the trouble is guys having no cajones to make a decision of what to do on the date. A friend of mine says that she always finds that guys that will say, "Uhhh What to do want to?"
Her complaint and mine too is, What happened to the guys that would call you to ask you out. Then once you said yes, he'd tell you that you'll have dinner at 8pm on Wednesday at (insert restaurant here) and he'll pick you up.
I know I reference Mr. Dallas a great deal, but one thing I will say he did a fabulous job at was courting me.
We got introduced, he got my number, called me, asked me to dinner, and had a plan. That was the best first date I've ever had!
Even after the 1st date he kept trying. He surprised me with dinner at my place one random night and brought, several bottles of wine, cheese and crackers as an appetizer. A nice dinner from a swanky restaurant, and strawberries and chocolate for dessert. I never had someone put so much thought and effort in. And I haven't since.
Note to men reading or listening...Mr. Dallas got lucky that night!! And that was good too!
I'm gonna finish things with this. Guys may get girls by being a d-bag or treating a girl like crap, but eventually I'd like to think that that gets boring and you want to be with someone you respect.
All in all...men keep trying and please keep chivalry alive!