Thursday, January 27, 2011

THROWING UP MY WHITE FLAG

If you read my blog on a regular basis, you know that I usually write about love, relationships, and the interaction between the sexes. My last couple of blogs has talked about what I'd like to find in a guy and chemistry. Nothing has changed there. I still want those things. However, I think I'm throwing in the towel for a bit.

You see, I've been putting my best dating foot forward for about 5 years now, and I'll be honest, I haven't had a lot of luck and I'm just a little burnt out. I'm to the point where, like I stated in my last blog, if you don't knock my socks off, I don't want to really put forth the effort.

I've even decided to take myself off every dating website that I've joined. And trust me...I have tried them all! I even joined J-Date.com and I'm not even Jewish! Although, I would convert to become a Jew! I'm not opposed to that. Shalom!

The dating websites proved to be good entertainment at times, but after awhile it was just fatiguing. I've been on match.com on and off for several years. I have not gone on a date from Match.com in about 6 months. I joined e-harmony about 5 months ago, and have yet to go on a date from that. I just don't find anyone that interesting and I really don't care at the moment.

As I've stated before, I haven't gone on a date that went past number 2 for some time now. And I'm not great at serial dating. There's really only so many times I feel like telling you how many brothers I have and where my family lives. After awhile I am OVER IT!

I will say that I have met some great friends from match.com. My best guy friend who lives in Chicago, I met off match. We went on several dates before I realized I wasn't quite ready to date after my last breakup. Love ya Lake Drive guy!

I don't want you to think I'm being negative about throwing up my white flag, because it's not to be negative. It’s just a matter of me realizing that I'm giving things a rest and going to focus on me for a while vs. focusing on me being with someone.

This will be difficult no doubt. I know I will be really lonely at times. I know that may mean that I'm not kissing anyone for a while. There will be no spooning, no evenings out for dinner and drinks. That also means that I'm not getting laid for about 6 months or longer. That kind of sucks!! BUT... whatever. Most of the time guys are pretty selfish anyway.

I guess we'll just wait and see what happens! Hopefully, I don't start growing cobwebs! Sheesh!

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

It's strange.... I'm trying to think if you're the age I was when we met. If you are, then my last date with Mr. "my eggs are too old", was also my "white flag" period. And not to scare you, but it lasted 2 years.

When I look back throughout my years of dating woes, the guys I went out with via Match, or met at a bar, or a party, or even those I reconnected with years later...I sought them out after the initial meeting. And...I might add, I was still "looking to date", and almost living like it, as I was blogging back then, too.

The 2 times in my life (count all of them now....just 2) when I had thrown up the white flag, and just "lived my life" without thinking about it, is when I found the two most meaningful relationships ever. One lasted for over 10 years, and the other I married.

I do believe, there is something to be said about surrendering. I say, good for you! In my case, my sense of independence grew stronger - even, if you recall, when my career fell apart. You'll definitely want to have some good girlfriends around (or maybe not, although having you in my life during that time made things much easier, xo)...
And if you don't - take up another painting class...or start those self-taught piano lessons, ... you're already running (doing something for you) - so you're off to a great start!

Good luck, sweetie!

steven said...

See i believe things happen for a reason Erin and now when you least expect it someone will come in your life that you care fo without event trying. I know ther is someone ou there for you no doubt. I wish you the best love and prayers from wisconsin

Anonymous said...

There's something to be said for the fact that if you've tried all these different avenues to meet men and none of them are going past a second date....maybe it's not them. In fact, it's probably you.

Erin Austin said...

Hey Anonymous #2!!


Thanks Genius!! You act as though I've never heard that before or thought it myself!!!


Clearly you missed the part in my blog where I talked about focusing on me. Or maybe you missed the part in blogs past where I said I've been working on me and my well being.

Again another genius spouting off their half ass opinion when they probably don't know anything about me!!

Hey but whatever, I put myself out there so I can allow people like you to cut me down. Thank you and you're welcome.

E

Dave said...

Erin - I met you and even worked with you briefly. The first thing that caught me about you was your sexual energy. I couldn't stop thinking about you for weeks! I would have loved to make a move but the timing was not the best. I still wonder what could have been and how far it might have gone. Of course it is highly probable that the sexual energy was one-sided and you had no idea how you made me feel when I was around you. BTW- We talked a few times but you didn't seem overly interested in seeing if it could go further. I suppose our luck may be the same as our skills at finding a love connection. So sad!

Anonymous said...

I'm right there with you girl. Dating sites don't seem to have interesting people, or someone that I am at least interested in, and meeting men at a club or a bar is just set for disaster.

Done it and tried it all - it does not work for me.

Makes me think one day I'll be that 60 yr old lady living all by herself with 9 cats and going to casinos to spend my money haha

Joke aside, but I see why you needed to take some time off for your self. All this dating is tiring and it gets old.

My problem is that I'm sick of having time off for myself, having time with my girlfriends, having girls nights,taking bunch of classes and anything that can distract me of thinking how lonely and pathetic I feel. And I'm only 30...

Back to being the 60 yr old lady with the cats scenario LOL

Best,
D