I’m writing this blog because someone made the comment about me having more self confidence. Here’s the quote…”You need to show more self confidence and be open to giving people a chance.” First of all, what in the world are you talking about? The reason that this comment bothers me is because I do give people chances. Sometimes, over and over and over and over again. Get my point? Sometimes I give the wrong people a chance. On the flip side, I’ve given lots of different kinds of men chances. I’ve given the “bad boy” a chance. The “sensitive guy”, “Mr. I’m afraid to get married”, “Mr. I can’t date you because I’m hurt”, “Mr. What do you want I’m really busy right now!”, “Mr. I’m gay and don’t know it yet” guy, all of these guys I’ve given chances to. And not only that but, they all look different.
I don’t think that I need to give every guy that comes along a chance. If I did, that would mean I have no standards. Let’s face it we all have standards. We all need standards. It’s our own way of sifting out the riff raff. The one’s that just are not right for YOU. And be perfectly honest with you, I think my standards are pretty simple.
Someone asked what kind of guy I'm looking for. I feel like I’m beating a dead horse here but, here it goes. A guy that is successful and smart. Someone caring, thoughtful and takes time to notice the little things. A guy that doesn’t come with too much emotional baggage or any type of baggage. I like a guy who likes to stay fit, likes dogs, likes to travel, red wine, sushi, nice restaurants and there are other things. Most importantly, I like a guy that is attentive and unselfish.
Most of my relationships have revolved around the other person. Not because I was obsessed with them but because everything revolved around them. It revolved around their schedule, their job, and what they had going on. Basically they had their priorities and I wasn’t top 5. For instance, I had an ex tell me they couldn’t meet me for dinner the next day because he might have to meet the big boss if he came into town. Wait, so the guy isn’t for sure coming to town and you’re already canceling? Or the ex that told me that dating me was tough because he didn’t exercise as much as he wanted. So having someone unselfish or at least willing to compromise would be great.
Now, if you think to yourself. I’m all of those things…why don’t I get a chance? Well I have to be physically attracted too. LBS here, when you meet someone randomly out at a gym, grocery store, whatever, you see them and something strikes you. And like I’ve said before, I’m attracted to guys all over the board looks wise. I’ll even give some different looking guys that are celebs to give you an idea.
I sometimes like guys with shaggy hair
I sometimes like an exotic looking guy
I somtimes like guys with no hair
That’s all I have on this topic. So no more writing me saying “Erin why don’t date that fat guy with the ponytail that lives in his van down by the river?” Because I won’t but I WILL hunt you down and smack you on the forehead! :)
6 comments:
Wow! You go girl! And FYI, you're not the only single gal in Milwaukee looking for someone. I had the same thoughts as you while recently looking at Facebook, like I'm ten steps behind everyone else. But, as one of my many married girlfriends likes to remind me, there is a perfect person out there for everyone, but sometimes it just takes a little bit longer to find them. Hang in there and good luck!
I loved this one. I totally hear what you're saying. Here are two items that should be on everyones perfect guy list.
1. Must NOT live in Mom's basement.
2. Must not have plastic ducted taped to car instead of actual window.
All kidding aside, the attentive & unselfish are a must!!!
Nicely said E !
This should clear up anyone's idiotic thoughts regarding how confident and together you are !!
But, just so you know...I have cut off my pony tail, shaved my head and moved my van to the lakefront instead of the river (smells just as bad though). Does that improve my chances????
B -
After reading your description of the perfect man you must realize that there are so few of us. And the ones who are, like myself, happily married and off the market. But the few remaining probably have given up on women because they only find the self-centered, high maitenence, princess wannabe.
I believe that there is someone out there for everyone, that one true, perfect thing that you know how great it is the moment you find it. Maybe that guy is out there wandering around until he finds you. Or maybe he cut you off in traffic, you flipped him off and he's gone forever. Either way, you gotta make the best out whatever comes your way. There is no normal life, there's just life.
Jen...thank god you feel me on this!! We're in this together.
Anonymous #1 I TOTALLY agree with your list.
You'd think attentive and unselfish would be a simple thing to get...but nope. Especially the unselfish part. YIKES!
Anonymous # 2 B-
Thank God you ditched the P-tail. a man with longer hair than me is also a no! E-
Sounds like you have given everyone a chance except for Mr. Right. Hope you are having a great weekend, and good luck in your search. Maybe you should start the EA dating service.. ;-)
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