PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE...WHICH I DON'T HAVE!

I can just hear it now, my mom telling me "Erin you just need to be patient." As a little kid and as an adult I've lacked patience. I want things now. I want answers now. I want to know what's going to be before it is. I get so impatient that I even drive myself to worry.

In work, I never was patient enough to see what would transpire for me. Earlier on I wasn't sure where exactly I wanted to go with my career. I just knew I wanted to see how far I could go. Now that I'm a little older I know that mornings is the place I want to be. I now have ultimate goals that I think that mornings is the place for me to achieve it. Will I get there? Not sure, but every once in awhile I do get antsy thinking "How am I going to make this happen?"

In relationships I've been impatient as well. Now I'm not one of those girls that starts dating a guy and starts going crazy with planning the future. Although, I do question myself and what's going on when I don't think that things are going on the timeline I think they should be. Now, I don't always bring it up but occasionally I do. Tylpically I wait for a guy to say something.

Recently, I was hanging out with a guy for a month. He would never really call or text and when he did, it was to make plans to do something. At first I was just going with the flow but after a few weeks everything was the exact same. Nothing ever progressed. He still wanted to go out and do things but he actions never were any different. I figured that if you're somewhat dating someone at some point you decide if you want to see the person more. Well, not in this case. The thing was, he was hard to read. One minute I thought it was going somewhere the next minute he acted like we were buddies. Needless to say after a month I grew a little bored with the status quo.

I think a lot girls when they enter a relationship with someone they like, they start to think about where things are headed. I know that I do. I don't want to waste my time. Hell, I'm 31 years old and I'm not getting any younger. As I've said before, I'm not looking to get married right away but I don't want to be in a completely dead end relationship. I know some girls that can do it but that is not my deal.

I'm kind of mad at myself because, when I enter a situation I hang out for awhile and then I start to assess where things are going. That is where I drive myself crazy. How do you learn to take things as they come? How do you learn to to just let things happen and not try to hurry yourself? How do I learn to just breath and let life happen?

HOW EASY IS IT TO FORGIVE AND FORGET?

As you may know I'm a pretty sensitive person. I wear my heart on my sleeve and in the past I've been burned. Some people can just shrug it off but, for some reason I take things to heart more. Somewhat recently I was burned. If you read my blogs I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.

Well recently, I got an apology from a person who has hurt me in the past. He told me that basically he was a jerk to me. He also still wants to be friends. I accepted the apology. I have never hated him, although, I was pissed and extremely hurt. I told him that I did still want to be friends but I was afraid of him hurting me again.

Now, given this latest development I have talked to him and we've even hung out a bit. Here's the thing though, do I give them a clean bill and be absolutely forgiving? Forgetting all past issues, or do I tread with caution? Or should I be like my typical self, be skeptical and cynical that they'll be better this time?

I personally want to be absolutely forgiving and forget the past. I truly think they're not a bad person. I do hope that they were 100% honest when they said they have not been themselves lately and were sorry.

If I could tell this person something without sounding like an idiot and be all sappy, I would first say, you know you've hurt me so please don't do it again. You know I'm sensitive, so please don't take advantage of that. And you know that I'm a caring person, so please don't advantage of that either. I'll make a new saying WWET...WHAT WOULD ERIN THINK?

So what happens now? Right now, I've decided to let go of the anger and hurt. I will give them another chance to be in my life. I will proceed with caution and I will forgive.

ARE RELATIONSHIPS EASIER IF YOU'RE A LESBIAN?

Some people may not like this topic. Some people may be offended. For that I'm sorry. But, I really do wonder if a relationship would be easier if I dated a girl. Now, I'm not really considering switching teams but I do have some questions about it.

The singer Usher recently made the comment that basically women date each other because they can't find any good men. Even though I think that statement is somewhat ignorant, I did wonder if that ever really happens. I had a college roommate that I recently discovered is dating a girl. To my knowledge, she had never even experimented with girls before that. I never got to really talk to her about it and what made her switch teams so to speak.

So would dating a girl be better than dating a guy? Would a girl treat you better? Would they take your needs into consideration more? Would they be more affectionate than a guy would? Would you fight as much with a girl? WOULD A GIRL CALL YOU BACK AND ANSWER YOUR TEXT MESSAGES?

I have a great set of PLATONIC girlfriends. We call each other to see how our days are. We call each other if ones is sick to see how they are feeling. We take care of each other when one is sick too. We do pretty much everything together including sleep in the same bed. We even get annoyed with each other. So, what goes on in a lesbian relationship that's different from that and different from a relationship with a guy or your best friends?

I don't know any lesbians here in Milwaukee. The lesbians I know don't live here and they all dated men prior to the switch. I would love to hear from women that are with women now but have dated men and what's the difference that they see in the 2 relationships. Tell me why it is better. Hell, just weigh in and tell what you think period.

" I'M SORRY BUT...I'M JUST SO BUSY!"

How many times have you heard that line? I feel like I hear it all the time. In every relationship I've ever been in I was told that line. I always thought that once you were in a relationship with someone whether it be exclusive or not, married or not, that you'd want to spend time with that person. Am I missing something here?

I think one of my faults when I'm in a relationship is that I'm too giving. I give too much of myself, my heart, my time, and make myself too available. With the major relationships that I've had I was always the more giving. When I dated Sean, he had a lot of stuff going with his brother so his time and focus was with him. Our relationship was a long distance one where about every other week we'd travel back and forth from Texas to St. Louis and vice versa. Well, there were a couple times that at the last minute Sean would call and cancel his trip to see me because he was so busy. I of course wanted to see him, so being the giving person I am I would rearrange things to see him that weekend or the next. What's the point? I guess what I'm trying to say is that I would be too giving and make time so that I could spend it with him.

I've noticed this trend lately that men I date, always seem to be so busy. Not that I sit there and say "Hey Hey we need to hang out...!!" like some annoying pest, but it almost seems that they have this attitude that they'll fit me in when it's of convenience to them and that if i don't take this one time offer...then well...I'm S.O.L.

I've always heard in the world of dating, you should always act like you're so busy. Although, at some point if you're on the flip side of that doesn't it get old? I know that I really don't like the feeling I get when someone always treats me like I'm on the back burner. There's one thing to be said about the chase but, at the same time when do you get to stop chasing and get a bigger piece of someones schedule? Will I ever find a person that is willing to fit me in?

Is being so busy a good excuse? Or is it just that...an excuse?