I can just hear it now, my mom telling me "Erin you just need to be patient." As a little kid and as an adult I've lacked patience. I want things now. I want answers now. I want to know what's going to be before it is. I get so impatient that I even drive myself to worry.
In work, I never was patient enough to see what would transpire for me. Earlier on I wasn't sure where exactly I wanted to go with my career. I just knew I wanted to see how far I could go. Now that I'm a little older I know that mornings is the place I want to be. I now have ultimate goals that I think that mornings is the place for me to achieve it. Will I get there? Not sure, but every once in awhile I do get antsy thinking "How am I going to make this happen?"
In relationships I've been impatient as well. Now I'm not one of those girls that starts dating a guy and starts going crazy with planning the future. Although, I do question myself and what's going on when I don't think that things are going on the timeline I think they should be. Now, I don't always bring it up but occasionally I do. Tylpically I wait for a guy to say something.
Recently, I was hanging out with a guy for a month. He would never really call or text and when he did, it was to make plans to do something. At first I was just going with the flow but after a few weeks everything was the exact same. Nothing ever progressed. He still wanted to go out and do things but he actions never were any different. I figured that if you're somewhat dating someone at some point you decide if you want to see the person more. Well, not in this case. The thing was, he was hard to read. One minute I thought it was going somewhere the next minute he acted like we were buddies. Needless to say after a month I grew a little bored with the status quo.
I think a lot girls when they enter a relationship with someone they like, they start to think about where things are headed. I know that I do. I don't want to waste my time. Hell, I'm 31 years old and I'm not getting any younger. As I've said before, I'm not looking to get married right away but I don't want to be in a completely dead end relationship. I know some girls that can do it but that is not my deal.
I'm kind of mad at myself because, when I enter a situation I hang out for awhile and then I start to assess where things are going. That is where I drive myself crazy. How do you learn to take things as they come? How do you learn to to just let things happen and not try to hurry yourself? How do I learn to just breath and let life happen?