This past weekend I went to Vegas
with 2 of my best friends. We spent a lot of time talking about all different
parts of our lives. Besides the recent passing of my dad, the other topic
that came up (and always does) is my dating life. I've been friends with
these girls for years, so they've seen me through just about everything...and
then some. We talked about some of my most recent dating experiences and
how the guys I meet don't seem be looking for a serious relationship.
Either they are just looking to hook up, just want to see what's out there, or say
that they're too busy with work to date anyone seriously.
Now, what sucks is that with
every person I go on a date with I try do something different from what I did the
time before. Whether I'm picking a guy that's not my "typical type", or try to go
in at a slower pace, I make the effort to not repeat doing the same thing over and over again. I
even tried meeting a guy through friends of friends. However, no matter what,
I'm getting a bunch of guys that are either non-committal types or just looking
to play the field. Oh...and keep in mind these guys are in their late 30’s to
early 40’s.
As I told the girls about the last 6 months of my dating life, one of them chimes up and says, ”You know Erin...you need to date the dorky guy. These guys you meet don't appreciate who you are as a person and want to keep their options open. You need to find a dorky guy that will appreciate you and worship you.” Now while I agree with them that the guys I meet probably don't appreciate me and all I have to offer, I'm not sure how I feel about just going for a dork just because he might appreciate me more.
There's no doubt that the guys who think and know they are good-looking, tend to be a little more self-involved. The same can be said for the girls that are always posting bikini pics with their hand placed at the correct angle above her hip. It also is no surprise that whatever I'm doing in finding someone is not working.
In the last year I've gone through just about everything relationship wise. It started with ending a serious relationship with someone that constantly cheated, there's a couple of guys that I thought drank waaaay too much. 1 guy stopped dating me because I wasn't sure about kids, 1 guy ghosted, 1 guy didn't even make it to the first date because he was acting douchey, and 1 guy was new to town and told me that he didn't want to answer to anyone right now.
After my friends, my friends' mom, and her aunt told me I need to start dating dorky guy, I decided to look up advice online. I found a great article in Cosmopolitan Magazine giving “14 Reasons Nerdy Guys Are The Best.” Some of the reasons were a bit silly, but one stuck out. Reason 5. They Aren't Superficial. WHOA!! I like that!
It seems like a majority of the guys I meet lately are searching for the hottest girl they can land. I went on a few dates with a guy that talked about what guys like in a girl. He said guys like a girl with really big boobs and anorexic girl arms. Although, he didn't say anorexic girl arms he used another disease as a reference point.
I know I'm not a supermodel, but I'm not hideous. Sheesh...I
mean, unless of course you catch me on a morning where I'm hungover, forgot to take my
makeup off, and my hair looks like I rolled around in grease. I think
once you add up all the parts of my package, I'm pretty awesome! Yet, for
some reason I'm still finding guys that don't appreciate me as a package.
Is there really something to
dating a dorky guy? A few of things that I've wanted in "my person" was for
me to find them attractive (even if they're not "my type"), I wanted
someone that makes me laugh and I make them laugh, and I want someone I can
have a conversation with. Oh and love dogs! So...Is there a dorky guy that
is funny? Or one that is someone I'll find attractive?
I can't help but think of the
song from Lonely Island - "I Just Had Sex." The line in the
song that says
3 comments:
Let me ask you a question, and be honest. Haven't you been guilty of wanting to date the "hot guy"? It's a bit frustrating to read your posts sometimes because you don't seem to realize you are guilty of the very thing you hate... shallowness. I have had amazing relationships with women who were not 10's but we had amazing chemistry. I never hear about your chemistry with anyone. Did I miss that? You are stuck on looks, either yours or theirs. Dorky guy? Really. How about "nice guy." How about the guy that you love his scent. How about the guy who likes you and all your flaws. It seems as if you are concerned with what people will think of you by who you date. "OMG! Look who Erin is dating!!??" Relax. There will always be haters. Stop putting so much thought into finding arm candy. It's okay to date the average guy who has an average job as long as you have chemistry and respect for each other. You might try dating somebody who doesn't give a rip about your day job. Just saying'...
Well I'm not sure what to say. I do feel like you didn't read my blog thoroughly or took what I said to mean what you thought it means.
For instance, when I say I try to date guys that aren't my "typical type." That isn't just a reference on their physical like you're insinuating. It means career, personality type, as well as physical.
To be honest with you, rarely do I or have I dated someone for a decent amount of town that I was super attracted to physically. So with that being said, I almost find it offensive that you act you know me so well as thinking you know what I date or what I look for when dating someone.
Also, most people do focus on looks. Considering how many men I'm around on a daily basis, I hear a lot of conversations which gives me a basis of what I write.
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