When you start dating someone there's a time where you're going to do the horizontal mambo. When should you have sex? At what point in the relationship is it the best time to start having sex? If you were to ask my mom that question she'd say, "Not until you're married!" However, for most people these days that's not a realistic answer.
I was talking with a guy friend of mine and he told me that you shouldn't have sex with a guy until date number 5. His reason was that you needed to make sure that the guy will stick around. That totally makes sense. Although, there's plenty of guys that will hold out a while for sex, but as soon they get it they still disappear.
I've heard of the third date rule. That seems to be pretty popular these days. In fact, some think it's the new normal. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Sometimes I've gone out on 3 dates with a guy and I'm still trying to figure out if I really find him all that interesting, let alone interesting in the sack. I've also been on 1 or 2 dates with a guy and felt so attracted to them that I wanted to do the deed.
The scary part about it all is unless you really know what the other person's intentions are you don't know what the outcome will be once you do seal the deal. Meaning, once you have sex is this person going to call? Are they going want to see you again? It's a crap shoot.
This predicament is one of things I hate most with dating. It seems like there's really no right answer. Sometimes you can think you're making the right decision and it backfires on you. One of my biggest fears in relationships is the guy changing his mind. A lot of times once you have sex with a guy he seems to change his mind and he disappears.
Now that I'm feeling comfortable and out dating again, sex is certainly a possibility. If there's someone that I'm interested in and I'm attracted to when will I know is the right time? I don't want to screw something up by "giving it up" too soon. However, if I wait until we have a really good connection, then I'll get scared because I know once I do have sex with them I'll get attached. And getting attached scares me because I feel vulnerable.
5 comments:
I don't think there should be a time line if you are looking for meaningful sex. Casual sex has a time line that starts at around half an hour into date 1. My good friend who is female has had this problem. She has jumped into bed with guys way too soon and they stop calling. Then again she seems to attract douches in general. I am currently dating a wonderful woman for about a little over a month and we just did the deed a week ago. That was about the 7th time we had seen each other and circumstances just seemed right and it was. Go with your gut and not your hormones and wait for it to feel right.
Erin,
I am old fashion when it comes to dating. I believe that you should do the little things in relationships, so that they last longer. Also, I believe open communication and honesty are two key qualities that make relationships last. With all that said, I am a virgin and I am waiting to find that Ms. Right. Even if my Ms. Right has had sex, I'm not going to hold that against her because the past is the past. Plus, her past as only made her stronger.
Erin,
I am old fashion when it comes to dating. I believe that you should do the little things in relationships, so that they last longer. Also, I believe open communication and honesty are two key qualities that make relationships last. With all that said, I am a virgin and I am waiting to find that Ms. Right. Even if my Ms. Right has had sex, I'm not going to hold that against her because the past is the past. Plus, her past as only made her stronger.
Have you ever thought of it the other way around? What if you do the deed but the guy just doesn't push your button? Then what, you gonna call or are you going to run away? My opinion is just do what feels right at the moment and still allowd you to look at yourself in the mirror in the morning.
Good Guys Finish Last....The Women(Some Not All) Want That Bad Boy That Treats You Like Dirt ....Also On The Radio You post Alot About Your Life On The Bull Fb Page.....That Mite Scare Them A But Too!.....Yours Truly A 51 Yr Old Male......
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