Tuesday, June 24, 2014
DATING: WHEN SHOULD YOU START HAVING SEX?
When you start dating someone there's a time where you're going to do the horizontal mambo. When should you have sex? At what point in the relationship is it the best time to start having sex? If you were to ask my mom that question she'd say, "Not until you're married!" However, for most people these days that's not a realistic answer.
I was talking with a guy friend of mine and he told me that you shouldn't have sex with a guy until date number 5. His reason was that you needed to make sure that the guy will stick around. That totally makes sense. Although, there's plenty of guys that will hold out a while for sex, but as soon they get it they still disappear.
I've heard of the third date rule. That seems to be pretty popular these days. In fact, some think it's the new normal. I'm not sure how I feel about that. Sometimes I've gone out on 3 dates with a guy and I'm still trying to figure out if I really find him all that interesting, let alone interesting in the sack. I've also been on 1 or 2 dates with a guy and felt so attracted to them that I wanted to do the deed.
The scary part about it all is unless you really know what the other person's intentions are you don't know what the outcome will be once you do seal the deal. Meaning, once you have sex is this person going to call? Are they going want to see you again? It's a crap shoot.
This predicament is one of things I hate most with dating. It seems like there's really no right answer. Sometimes you can think you're making the right decision and it backfires on you. One of my biggest fears in relationships is the guy changing his mind. A lot of times once you have sex with a guy he seems to change his mind and he disappears.
Now that I'm feeling comfortable and out dating again, sex is certainly a possibility. If there's someone that I'm interested in and I'm attracted to when will I know is the right time? I don't want to screw something up by "giving it up" too soon. However, if I wait until we have a really good connection, then I'll get scared because I know once I do have sex with them I'll get attached. And getting attached scares me because I feel vulnerable.