DOES HE RESPECT YOU?

I decided to write this blog after I came to a realization over the weekend. I realized that certain guys I know both past and present don't respect me. I realized that they probably don't respect me both by fault of my own and not.

Example #1. A guy I that I semi-dated in Milwaukee. I say "semi-dated" because I knew it was going to go nowhere and I planned on moving in the coming months. So a few months back, I got a text message from him. Now, keep in mind I hadn't really talked or heard from him in at least 6 + months. So I open the text and there's a picture of his penis. I thought at first that he must've texted me by accident. After my initial shock I texted back with a "Wow! Why did you send this to me?" He responded back with, "I thought you should have it." So clearly he knew who he was sending it to. Then he wants me to send a pic back. (THAT DID NOT HAPPEN)

I have to say that was my first penis pic! At the time I thought that was so random. I still have no idea why after not seeing each other in over a 1year+ , and not speaking for 6+ months why he sent that to me. Was he laying in bed reminiscing about old times? Possibly. However, I now think that he thinks of me as just that girl.

Example #2. A guy that I've mentioned in previous blogs. (Hmm douche bag comes to mind) This is a that I never had sex with. We never saw each other naked. We went on a few dates and that was about it. He was a guy that I thought might have some real potential. However, I soon realized that I was the only person that thought that way. Shortly after going on our 2 or 3rd date I started getting text messages that turned sexual in nature. Talking about the things he'd like to do to me.

I remember telling him that I didn't think it was appropriate for him to talk to me like that because it made me feel like he only thought of me s a piece of ass. Well, I hit the nail on the head on that one. It was clear that he wasn't looking at me as someone to be the mother of his children, more like someone to call daddy...if you know what I mean. That one I don't blame myself.

Example # 3. This is a guy that I've never dated, but am friends with and have had relations with. I received a text from him that was somewhat naughty. That was followed by a penis pic. That was then followed by something even more scandalous. I was initially shocked and not sure how to respond or if I should respond.

After awhile I got kind of bummed out. Clearly, this guy thought if me as "that girl." I was the girl that he thought would be into that and I was the girl that he thought might like it.

Not I that I ever thought he and I would date or that I'd go and meet the family, I was just bummed because I realized that I had higher regard for him than he did for me. I realized that I was always just going to be that dirty girl. Nothing more...ever. And for that I have no one to blame but myself. From the way it started, till that penis pic moment. The way he thought of me was all my fault.

So, just like I think that guys don't respect women who send naked pics unsolicited, I also think that if a guy sends you naked pics or more, he doesn't respect you either. The sad thing is, ladies what do we do? Do you act like a prude or do you play along? Either way, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.

THINGS THAT MAKE ME WISH I WASN'T A WOMAN

This isn't about how I hate being a woman because I have to pee sitting down. Or because I'm not strong to bench press a KIA. This is about things that other women do that make me shake my head and wish I wasn't a part of the female gender.


1. Girls that send pictures or videos of themselves naked via text! First of all, what the hell is wrong with you? It's one thing if you're sending it to a guy that you're in a relationship with, but that's even dangerous. The girls that send pics of their business to dudes they're trying to land is just plain stupid. Just like us, when we get a picture of them and show it to all our friends, they do the same thing and worse. (The term meat curtains comes to mind)

There's a guy I'm friends with and some girl that he met that doesn't even live in the same city sends him video of her playing with herself. Really? Is that necessary? Did her parents not give her enough attention as a child that now she sends guys videos of her va-jay jay?

2. Girls that go for married men. This one makes me want to smack a ho! This one also qualifies for girls that go after a guy that's dating someone. I know that there are some slim pickings out there when it comes to finding a decent man, but trust me when I say, if he's barking up your tree and he's with someone else...he's really not that great of a guy to begin with.

Why are we so weak as women that instead of finding a guy to call our own, we try to prove to ourselves and others that we can steal one from someone else? Does it make you feel good that you said he's with you? Like the saying goes and like Justin Timberlake sings "What goes around comes around."

3. Girls that dress like absolute prostitutes. Granted, I'll admit to wanting to wear some more scantily clad outfits. (Hence, why I bought the Brazilian Butt Lift workout video. Getting this bum bum high and tight.) However, there's a difference between looking sexy and dressing like Courtney Stodden, the 17 year old teen bride who will be in porn when she turns 18. I don't care what her mother says.

Call me a semi-feminist, jealous, or judgmental, but I guess to me I don't feel like we need to put our naughty bits on display to get noticed. Although, every time I go out here in Houston, or anywhere else I feel like the only girls that get noticed are the ones where I can see their uterus along with a side of tits.

That's just few of the examples I can come up with...give me a day or two and I could come up with more.

IS IT WEIRD OR NORMAL TO GOOGLE UP YOUR EX?

Imagine this scenario: It's a random Tuesday night and you're sitting on your couch semi-watching television. You have your laptop out and your mind starts to wonder. You pull up the googles (I call it the googles vs. google just to be funny) and start typing in your exes name into the search bar.

How many times have you done that? Come on now!! Admit it! You've done it a few times. I know I have. Well...I've done it more than a few times, but it's something I've tried to stop doing. (we'll get to that later)

I think more women look up their exes vs. men. Maybe I'm wrong about that, but I feel like most guys don't give a crap about you once you're out of the picture.

I think it's a pretty normal thing to be curious about what they're up to and where they are. However, at what point do you stop doing it? Or do you ever stop?

I think as women we're pretty curious beings and are excellent at snooping and investigating. Depending on how the relationship ended, a lot of women want to know what the guy has moved onto. We wonder if he's happier. Is she prettier? Does he like her more than he liked you? Granted, it's probably not a healthy thing to do, but we do it.




As I admitted earlier, I've done the internet snooping. But in the last couple of years I've cut it down, if not stopped it all together.


For example, my ex boyfriend Mr. Dallas I've stopped looking up because whatever I find will probably not make me feel very good. I mean, when he broke up with me he used the line, "Erin I just feel like the next step for you is marriage and I'm not ready." I asked, "Are you just not ready to get married to me...or to anybody? He said, "To you or to anybody...I'm just not ready."


Well, since then, he's pretty much always had some sort of girlfriend in the picture. I've pretty much figured that he's engaged by now. At least that's what I tell myself, and try to convince myself of. And if that's the case, I'd rather not see that it's actually true. Why? Because if he thought that the next step for me is marriage, and he got married before I did...I'd get pretty depressed. Not sure if that makes sense, but knowing that someone else WAS good enough to marry and I wasn't, is not something I need to see in BIG, BOLD print. (I have enough issues, thank you very much!)


Now, my ex-husband I've totally stopped looking up. There's nothing I need to know anymore. I mean, he's re-married, he's got a kid, and one of the dogs we had together has died. That's it. There's nothing else that can really happen as far as life changes go that would be relevant or shocking.


Do you look up your exes still? What about your exes new girlfriend or boyfriend? What if you're currently in a relationship. Do you ever Google their exes? Is that normal? When does it get to be too much and when do you have to let it go? Do you ever have to let it go? Maybe it's all perfectly normal and OK. What do you think?


Have you ever googled an ex found out something that made you upset of was made you regret looking them up?