Tuesday, January 31, 2012


I decided to write this blog after I came to a realization over the weekend. I realized that certain guys I know both past and present don't respect me. I realized that they probably don't respect me both by fault of my own and not.

Example #1. A guy I that I semi-dated in Milwaukee. I say "semi-dated" because I knew it was going to go nowhere and I planned on moving in the coming months. So a few months back, I got a text message from him. Now, keep in mind I hadn't really talked or heard from him in at least 6 + months. So I open the text and there's a picture of his penis. I thought at first that he must've texted me by accident. After my initial shock I texted back with a "Wow! Why did you send this to me?" He responded back with, "I thought you should have it." So clearly he knew who he was sending it to. Then he wants me to send a pic back. (THAT DID NOT HAPPEN)

I have to say that was my first penis pic! At the time I thought that was so random. I still have no idea why after not seeing each other in over a 1year+ , and not speaking for 6+ months why he sent that to me. Was he laying in bed reminiscing about old times? Possibly. However, I now think that he thinks of me as just that girl.

Example #2. A guy that I've mentioned in previous blogs. (Hmm douche bag comes to mind) This is a that I never had sex with. We never saw each other naked. We went on a few dates and that was about it. He was a guy that I thought might have some real potential. However, I soon realized that I was the only person that thought that way. Shortly after going on our 2 or 3rd date I started getting text messages that turned sexual in nature. Talking about the things he'd like to do to me.

I remember telling him that I didn't think it was appropriate for him to talk to me like that because it made me feel like he only thought of me s a piece of ass. Well, I hit the nail on the head on that one. It was clear that he wasn't looking at me as someone to be the mother of his children, more like someone to call daddy...if you know what I mean. That one I don't blame myself.

Example # 3. This is a guy that I've never dated, but am friends with and have had relations with. I received a text from him that was somewhat naughty. That was followed by a penis pic. That was then followed by something even more scandalous. I was initially shocked and not sure how to respond or if I should respond.

After awhile I got kind of bummed out. Clearly, this guy thought if me as "that girl." I was the girl that he thought would be into that and I was the girl that he thought might like it.

Not I that I ever thought he and I would date or that I'd go and meet the family, I was just bummed because I realized that I had higher regard for him than he did for me. I realized that I was always just going to be that dirty girl. Nothing more...ever. And for that I have no one to blame but myself. From the way it started, till that penis pic moment. The way he thought of me was all my fault.

So, just like I think that guys don't respect women who send naked pics unsolicited, I also think that if a guy sends you naked pics or more, he doesn't respect you either. The sad thing is, ladies what do we do? Do you act like a prude or do you play along? Either way, you're damned if you do and damned if you don't.


Anonymous said...

I TOTALLY believe that this is one for the scenario card:

IF you have been together for a long time and are exclusive and don't live together, then it can be a fun way to spice things up. But, in today's day and age, you have to be 99.9% certain, this is the one you're about to spend your life with... that, or you're 99.9% certain you won't ever get into a big enough fight with, or he's evil enough to spread your pics around.

IF you are just dating or having "relations" and you get a text like that....well, that answer should be NO Thank you! NEVER send one back, ...and then RUN!!!

Have men not learned from Brett Favre?!?

Andy said...

I wouldn't take it too personal. Guys are jerks. Hey I'll admit it, I'm one. I have never sent an unsolicited penis pic myself, i'm not that much of a douche bag. But I know how guys are. We will try anything, and take as much as we can get, and if we don't get anything then we just don't care. I promise you it had nothing to do with you. Don't be too hard on yourself. Trust me when they don't get a pic back they feel pretty stupid, and if they don't then F**k them. Actually F**k those guys anyway.
Its a good thing you didn't respond. Just do what your doing. You will find a guy that will respect you. And maybe, just maybe one day you will want that penis pic, and hopefully you will oblige him with a same gesture.
Keep your head up girl. You will get there. Let it come to you :)

BlondeAW16 said...

Erin, I have started reading your blog every week and I love it! This one really made me re-think a few things about the guy I am dating. Thanks for all the great advice :)