The saying is that love is blind, but in my opinion it isn't. In fact, I'd say love sees opportunity. Now days love sees "What can you do for me?" "What is it that you have that I want or can benefit from?"
Have you ever thought that if money and status weren't in the equation, who you might really end up with? Who would you fall in love with based on being attracted psychically and emotionally vs. how much money they have or what business they own or how big your ring might be?
Most of us are guilty of this to a certain extent. A lot of us want to be with someone successful. There's nothing wrong with that. Think of the times that someone has tried to set up with someone. I can't tell you how many the person setting me up used the selling point of 'he's a lawyer, he's a doctor, his family owns this!'
It becomes especially easy to do this on sites like match.com. Even worse sites like sugardaddy.com or seekingarrangment.com make it easy to look for opportunity vs. love. With sites like match.com it's so easy to dismiss someone because of what they do for a living or how much they make.
(You know what's sad? I just realized that my last serious long term relationship was with someone I randomly met and I had no idea what they did when we went on a date. I just know that when I saw him across the room in the restaurant I thought he was dressed well and looked pretty cute.)
I can think of a couple that got together and the man is obviously older than his much prettier wife. Here's the thing, that guy is a big wig for some sports team. Do you honestly think for a second that when she met him that she was interested in anything other than the financial security? Hell no! I mean what attractive young woman goes for a fat older man unless he has money or something of status? The answer is NOT THAT OFTEN TO COUNT!
Usually women are the ones seeking status and money. However, there are a few rare occasions where the man wants the status and what she offers. For instance, I know of a guy that is a millionaire and when it came time to getting married, he didn't pick some normal girl with a normal job. No, he picked someone with status. A society girl with the added bonus of suite tickets for the rest of his life. No normal girl comes with in-laws that own a suite to the football game.
Everywhere you go there are gold diggers. But until I moved to Houston, I've never seen so many people together just for the financial benefits. There are so many people that see dollar signs instead of what the person offers on the inside.
I'll be honest, I think men with money only have themselves to blame when they marry a women that ends up taking advantage of them.. How many times do you see some guy that has a lot of money flaunting it around? In my opinion, you're just asking for it. So when the pretty young thing you married decides that she's tired of having some fat guy hump her every night and leaves you with half your money...you can only blame yourself because you flaunted it.
Guys usually go for looks over money. Women go for money over looks. When it comes down to it, neither sex is looking for the real connection anymore. He says, "She's HOT!", while she says, "He's rich!" If I'm wrong and love is blind...then you'd see a lot less old fat men married to young attractive women...just saying.
I'll end with a few thoughts, Money likes to marry money. If love is blind why wear a bikini? If love is blind a lot less fat dudes with money would get laid? And last but not least...would you be the person if you didn't know how much money they had or what they did for a living?
4 comments:
Well it makes sense if you relate your observations with the theory of sexual selection. It goes that women are the choosier sex because they take on most of the risk and burden of reproduction and child rearing. While a man can sleep around with 100 women in a year's time and have 100 kids, a woman who sleeps with 100 men in a year will only have one baby (barring multiples). She has more at stake in each pregnancy. Therefore, it is in her best interest to at least choose a high-quality mate. And one way to "screen" for that is through resources. If a guy has tons of resources (money - for your argument), he most likely possesses genes that set him apart from the rest of the heard (which caused for him to succeed in the first place, let it be athletics, intelligence and so on) he would seem like a high-quality mate. But considering this as the driving factor to get involved with anyone, really sucks the enjoyment out of "Disney" influenced expectations people have about love, and that is certainly a bummer.
I need to start looking for someone rich. I've always picked the nice average ones. I get treated nice but in the end still have to work a job that I hate that takes up the majority of my time.
It would be nice to feel the financial security that a wealthy man can offer. I'm getting really tried of fending for myself in a world that always pays women less than men & gives us less respect.
God gave me the looks, I need to use them.
I would have to completely disagree with you mentioning that a rich guy is just asking to be taken advantage of and has only himself to blame if he flaunts his wealth. It's not very classy and obviously he probably knows that she's interested in him primarily for financial security, but no one deserved to be duped and taken advantage of by unscrupulous gold diggers. It's sort of analogous to someone saying "oh she only has herself to blame for being raped or taken advantage of just because she's dressed in a certain way or was too drunk".
As for guys focusing on a woman's looks and women going for financial security/status, that's just way society works everywhere in the world. Some are more obvious about it or care less about it to a degree, but realistically how many women can be truly happy with a guy who wants to be just a stay at home dad indefinitely or can't hold a job? Most men don't care about a woman's income potential all that much, but do care about looks, age, and weight. It's just how men and women are biologically programmed.
To anonymous #2 I'll give you that...guys don't deserve to be taken advantage of. However, when it happens they shouldn't be surprised. Just like the drunk girl shouldn't be surprised that someone decides to take advantage of her. It certainalky diesnt make it right but when you put it out there don't be surprised when someone decides that you've given them the opportunity.
I would agree that men and women are programmer that way. I guess I just wish it wasnt the case. Then again I guess stereotypes are there for a reason.
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