Thursday, October 20, 2011


How many times have you heard that phrase uttered from the mouths of your friends? A few times I'm sure. Usually it's your friends telling you that someone you're interested in romantically isn't good enough for you or isn't treating you the way you should be treated. They mean well, but here's what bothers me about that phrase.

Your friends, if they're true friends only want what's best for you. And as we all know, sometimes the truth can be a little hard to hear. So, when a friend gives their 2 cents, instead of making you feel better or empowered, it actually can have the opposite effect.

For example, when I made my road trip to Austin and was wondering if I should go or not, everyone was throwing their opinion my way. Telling me that instead of ME driving to Austin that I needed to make the guy come to Houston. Another nugget of wisdom was, if he really wanted to he'd come here to see me and that I deserve to have to someone wanting to come visit and making the effort to come see me.

OK...all of this may be true however, what if that never happens?

First of all, the guy in Austin situation is unique because I'm not looking to pursue a relationship. It's not that I wouldn't but, let's be honest I just don't think it would happen. First of all, he just moved to Austin. He's also making a career change, so he's looking for a new job. He's only 27, and to be perfectly honest I doubt a guy is going want to start anything with a girl that lives in another city when there are plenty of young honeys that he could set his sights on in Austin. I mean, let's be real here...He's not gonna want to date some DJ girl 2 hours away. L.B.S (Let's Be Serious)

So back to my point...WHAT IF IT NEVER HAPPENS?I know that when I got divorced I deserved to be treated better than how I was being treated. Then I found it...for awhile but, now I'm starting to doubt that it'll happen ever again.

I think a lot of us know that we deserve better in our life and our relationships but, we choose to stay because we're afraid that we may never find what's better. So, we end up settling or staying in a relationship or situation less than ideal out of fear that we end up alone.

When my friends and co-workers were giving me the "you deserve better speech," I got really sad because I knew deep down that they were ultimately right. (In the long run) However, I also got sad because I wondered if I may end up alone for the rest of my life because no one will ever treat me better.

What if I never find love again because the person that was "so much better" never came along? Then I'll ask myself if I should've settled with someone that was OK.

We all want to be wanted and treated like we mean the world to someone, but what if you never find someone that will treat you that way? Sure, there are things that I/you could change about how you present yourself to people. But at the end of the day, you can only control so much.

So what do you do? Be strong, pray, and believe that there is better for you and that it will eventually happen? Or do you hope for it but end up taking what you can find that's not so bad?


Jerry said...

OK, I just said these words to a friend of mine in the UK... She is dating this guy that lives in another COUNTRY, much less city or state... She says she is sooooooo happy... I call BS, because we have talked for over 3 years, and I know what she wants, as she has told me on several occasions when Mr. Right turned into Mr. Right now... I see the same pattern with this guy, and I told her so today... The point is, she DOES deserve better! She WILL find the right person! She just turned 31, never married and no kids, extremely HOTT, smart, funny, talented, and a hard worker! (Sound familiar Erin?) Simply said, if you don't like how you are being treated, or you feel you are being disrespected, MOVE ON! Just like this guy in Austin, you have ABUNDANT choices here in Houston. Just my $.02


Bleutrinitty said...

Jerry, The dating scene in Houston is rather sad in comparison to other cities and that's not just this single girl stating that. Multiple surveys as well as research has been done and the hit single city seems to be Denver. Nonetheless Jerry your friend does deserve better. I've dated that guy who lives in another country didn't end well at all.

Really loved this entry Erin as my friends tell me this constantly and though they've got good intentions at heart it only breaks mine because it reinforces that feeling of "another one bites the dust, why?" I think all women know we deserve better as you said but it's reconciling the knowledge and the and the reality we tend to have trouble with.

Anyway, love your blogs Erin and it has inspired me to start one of my own for my 90 day experiement.

mel said...

i too, am not a fan of hearing this. no relationship is perfect and no person is perfect.

only those in the relationship knows what is right for them.
and even if they do deserve better, i think its up to them to come to that conclusion.
if not.. we will wonder around looking for this perfect person that just may not exist. you have to find the person who is right for you.. and only YOU know that!