Monday, October 24, 2011


I think I've written on this topic before, but after this weekend I got thinking about the topic again and it made me think that a fresher is in order.

In the last couple of years I've noticed men's behavior when it comes after a break up, divorce, or just single on the prowl. My conclusion is that many men can't be alone. I would almost say that 85-90% of men cannot be without female attention for a considerable amount of time. (2 weeks doesn't count)

Over the weekend I ran into a guy that I went on a few dates with. I've seen him a few times at various events and every time he's there with a different girl. Not sure if he's going through these ladies like I go through underwear, or if he has a roster on a rotation. Point is he's never once been seen without a girl with him. Almost like he needs to prove to people or himself that he's an awesome catch.

A lot of the guys I've dated are like that. They go from one girl to the next without much downtime in between time, if any. Mr. Dallas is a good example. Granted, I haven't spoke to him a year or so, but when we were speaking I know that the longest he went without dating some girl was maybe 2 months. The ex-husband was the same way. Well to be honest, most of the guys I've dated are like that. I can only think of maybe 1 or 2 that weren't like that.

Look at George Clooney!!! There's a guy that has this written all over him! He barely had ditched the Italian girl and the next thing you see is the next girl, Stacy Keibler over at his house. I mean that guy barely waited until the body was cold before he was on to the next one.

I have a few guy friends that are also big examples of this. The guy moved to a new city and hadn't even been there 2 months before he had chicks he was hooking up with. I said chicks...because there was more than one.

By the way, I'm not just saying that men are the first to get a girlfriend or get remarried, but they're also, in my opinion, the first to get laid. Even if you just hook up with the guy and you're not dating. Guaranteed he'll sleep with another girl before you sleep with someone again...even if the next time you sleep with someone is him!!! (Trust me this has happened to me)

Think about when a guy and girl break up. How many times have you seen the guy on the prowl to get laid after the break up? I think of a few guys that I'm either friends with, dated, or whatever and before the body is even cold they're seen trying to hook up. Sometimes she's not even out of the picture yet.

Why is this? Do guys just need constant attention and validation? Is it that they know they don't have to be alone so they will take the company of ANY woman just so they have something around? Do they need the ego boost? Is it just for the sex? Are they guys settling with anything because they're lonely? (You know what they say...a hole's a hole!) Is it because they're narcissistic?

Don't get me wrong, I know women do this too. However, with the most of the girls I know, including myself, we needed time to be sad. Some are better than others at moving on, but some of us were sad for months before we even considered a date or sleeping with anyone.

J-Lo is a prime example of a female that moves on quickly and that drives me bonkers too. Maybe because I'm slightly jealous that I can't pull that. I mean, she goes from Marc Anthony to Bradley Cooper!!! Sheesh!! I haven't had a real boyfriend in 4+ years but my rebound was never a Bradley Cooper. Although, I have scored some hot guys...just never dated them! Ugh.

I'll admit part of the reason this bothers me is probably because I'm a bit jealous. I mean, I haven't had a date to an event in quite some time and yet I see guys with a different chick every time they're out. Yet, every time I go to an event, my date is my girlfriends. Then again, it's about the quality for me and not the quantity. Wouldn't it be nice to have a roster to pick from once in awhile? Or just be able to move on and find some hottie to have at the snap of my fingers??


Sonya said...

i dunno how ture or accurate your pecentage is, but it sure seems to be on point lol
seems like every guy i talk to or date is also so quick to hook up right away after we stop talking.... Good questions I always wondered this too?

Jerry said...


I will agree with you to a certain degree that a large majority of men feel the need to have a woman in their life, on their arm, or in their bed at all times.

In reality, it only appears easier for men to move on quicker because there is something to prove. Most men really do feel pain or distraught when a relationship ends, but are either to embarrassed or too ashamed to show it in public in fear that people (read as "other guys") will see them as weak.

Men have to prove to the public, their friends, and themselves that they still have "it"... its just what most men do to make them feel manly.

While men are more prone to do this, there are ALOT of women (I would guess around 50-60%)that do the same thing. The reason I believe to be to prove to themselves, their friends, and most importantly, their "ex" that they still have "it" and can have what they want just as easily as a man can. Honestly, women can have a man in their life alot easier than a man can have a woman in his!

As for you Erin, it is my opinion that you choose to not have a relationship. Yes, you heard me! Now I will back it up... I know on several occasions, reading your blog, that alot of men, including myself, have offered to meet with you, have lunch or dinner or attend a function with you, and have been ignored, declined, or just some lame excuse as to why you cant or wont. I believe that this occurs ALOT more than myself or any of your other readers will ever be aware of. So, having this said, accept offers for lunches and/or dinners... you never know until you try... the worst that can happen is you will have to spend an hour with someone for a free meal! LOL

If you truly want a "roster" to pick from... add me to the list, but be forewarned... anyone on the list after me will probably not to get a chance to be called out of the bullpen!


Attorneyfriedman said...

I love to read your blogs when I see your tweets…..I agree with you on this one! Some men just need female attention. I will say, you may notice it more because of the industry you work in too. I have noticed in my dating that radio & TV personalities are the worst at this!! They get bored easily, and they move around a lot so, it seems only fitting. Many of them have no problem finding chicks to hook-up with, but they have a hard time forming emotional attachments and having long lasting relationships. A lot of men in your industry are all about their ego, even if things do work out, with the girl they are dating, they are always looking for someone “bigger & better” to validate their narcissism. This was the case, for me & Mr. X…. I was in love with Mr. X, he was a big radio personality on a station I worked for in Dallas. Thankfully I realized he was this type, that always needed a different woman and would never form a real emotional bond, and I broke it off. After that, I swore I would never date anyone else in radio……….But, of course I did, and I don’t regret it…… You date what’s familiar to you. But, you live & learn. My good friend Will told me, there is a difference in “radio – guys” and guys who happen to work in radio, which he is the later………. But, I didn’t listen………………..I’m not perfect either, as I have been known to dump more men in my life, than have dumped me by far!!! I think someone beautiful like you should be able to have a roster you can just chose from for a date……I used to have a long roster, but finding quality is a different thing. Always remember quality over quantity. If you just have one or two key guys you can count on that’s ok….I also think when you stop looking, is when you will find what you were always looking for!!!

Erin Austin said...

Jerry I will agree with you to a certain extent that I don't want to in be in a relationship... Because I don't want just ANY relationship.

Sure there gave been guys (including yourself) that have made offers but to ve honest I gave no interest. Here's why. I have no idea what these people look like, who they are, if they are normal, would they chop ne up into bits. You see my point?

Where these guys(including yourself) know what I look like, what I do, what I think(via blog) ect.

Just because Im single doesn't mean I'm going to take every offer on the table(unlike men) I am picky and I have rules. I think it's funny that people expect since they express interest that since I'm single and talk about how I wish I had someone in my life that men expect me to bite at every I'm desparate. People can think that if they reality if I were desparate I would take every offer on the table.

I'm don't date listeners, I won't date a man 20 years older than me. Or a guy I've never met or gave ever even seen! Sure it may happen in the movies like that but that's not reality, safe or smart.

Erin Austin said...

Gave=have frickin autocorrect !!

Point is I'd like to meet someone the old fashioned way. Where you meet by chance and learn about eachother as you go.

It makes me a little worried meeting someone who read my blog for along time but never met...

Does that make sense?

Anonymous said...


Um, you don't know what the people on are like, but you do that. I think, that you think, you are better than guys like Jerry. From reading you blog, it seems like you put a lot of emphasis on looks. If you and your friends aren't naturally pretty, should you really be doing that?

Anonymous said...

So, now you are saying women that weigh 300 pounds can't be pretty? The same with disfigured people? At least 300 pound women have some fat in their faces and don't have to get botox.

Anonymous said...

People on LIE!!!It's okay if you think I'm assinine. At least I have a college degree and I'm not divorced!!!!

Anonymous said...

Honestly...I'm gasping for air. I read your comments on "being 300 pounds or disfigured" You've written allot of things and made allot of comments but...this has to be the most insensitve...self-absorbed...shallow...and a slew of other've ever written. I have friends that have had bilateral mastectomies...are 300 pounds because of all sorts of reasons...a friend burned over 90% of his body and looks like he melted. They are all wonderful...kind...loving...and non-judgemental people. And they would never say what you said about them...about you. Call me 'ignorant' too. Martha Auriemma

Brent said...

Erin, I agree with you on this topic but I think that you're percentages are a bit high. However, there are definitely men whom can't be alone for an extended period of time.

If they seem to be moving quickly from partner to partner, who's to say that they don't have their own checklist and that the other person didn't meet that list? Are you sure it's the man that's flawed?

It could also be a sign that they are not wanting to compromise on their beliefs, and are holding out for the exact match to what they're looking for to come along.

On the other hand, it could be that they are flawed, are highly co-dependent and haven't found their true selves, so they are attempting to do so by quickly asking the next person to come along that catches their eye.

You'll never find the one perfect match for you by solely just sitting around and hoping they fall into your lap. Then again, trying desperately to find the perfect match leads people to look over flaws that come to be deal breakers in the future. Who knows? Life's an adventure; go live it!

Craig said...

So let me see if I have this right... You haven't found the right person so that is why you are not with anyone or dating.

You won't date anyone 20 years older, 300 pounds, disfigured, unattractive, has kids, has recently gotten back into dating or is poor.

Hmmm. It is curious why you're divorced and still single.

Can we still call you "Erin" or should we bow our heads and refer to you as "Goddess" Austin?

Erin Austin said...

Craig... Yep you got it right!!! Oh and I prefer "princess" it has ring to it

Jerry said...

Erin, all it takes is a little common sense when it comes to me or people like me that actually sign their comments, post on your page, text in to talk to you on Thursday mornings, and have even talked to you (briefly) on the FB Messenger... Look in your friends list for Jerry Shelton... as far as "NOT dating listeners" and "wanting to meet someone the old fashioned way" or "anyone that has not read your blogs for a long time"... well, that is probably the most IDIOTIC thing I have ever heard. I suppose, because of my level of intelligence, that I could "accidently" meet you somewhere since you post your whereabouts on FB and have a pretty set routine... I could tell you that I have never read your blog when I meet you by chance... I could say that I have never heard you on the radio or seen your picture... but that would be bullshit and that is not how I operate. I will not approach you again, nor will I listen to your show or read your blog any longer. No, not because you wont see me as that would be childish and immature, but because you are a waste of time and energy. I am a fairly successful man that is single, physically fit, look better than most twenty-something year olds, intelligent, educated, sweet, kind, loving, and faithful to a fault... YOUR LOSS ERIN AUSTIN... good luck with your phantom search for someone that will never meet up to your expectations... Jerry

Anonymous said...

It seems pretty obvious that you are a bitch. Nobody is good enough, cute enough, smart enough, or worthy enough of the "fabulous" Erin Austin's company for even the briefest of moments.

Jerry may have gone overboard but he is essentially correct in his assessment of you. You're not a very nice person in spite of how vehemently your girlfriends defend you.