Friday, October 28, 2011
I MAY BE SINGLE BUT I'M NOT DESPERATE!
I know I talk a lot about being single and how it can lonely at times. How it would nice to have someone that's on the same page as me. Someone I can tell as to how my day went. Lately, I think my venting about being single is possibly giving the wrong impression to certain guys.
I've had several guys offer up themselves to take me to dinner or what have you. One guy wrote this as a part of a comment to one of my blog entries.
"I know on several occasions, reading your blog, that alot of men, including myself, have offered to meet with you, have lunch or dinner or attend a function with you, and have been ignored, declined, or just some lame excuse as to why you cant or wont. I believe that this occurs ALOT more than myself or any of your other readers will ever be aware of.
So, having this said, accept offers for lunches and/or dinners... you never know until you try... the worst that can happen is you will have to spend an hour with someone for a free meal! LOL
If you truly want a "roster" to pick from... add me to the list, but be forewarned... anyone on the list after me will probably not to get a chance to be called out of the bullpen!"
Here's my problem(s) with that comment. What person accepts every invitation from a man? Answer: A desperate person. If I were to accept these offers just for the "free meal" what kind of person would that make me? Also if I were to just take the "free meal" wouldn't that also make me look bad? As if I'm taking advantage of him?
Some women may have no problem spending an evening with a guy just get a free meal. However, I'm a pretty decent cook and I make enough money to feed myself so I'm not going on a date for a free meal?
Also, sometimes it's not worth the free meal if the company you're with isn't interesting or is making you feel uncomfortable. I'd rather not go on any dates for a year if I knew I'd avoid 1 date with a creeper.
Granted, sometimes you never know unless you take a chance. However, in the world where women are being assaulted or worse when they go off and meet guys they don't know, I'm not willing to go and take the chance.
Somebody might say, "Hey you went to Austin to go meet that guy!" Yes, I did. The difference is that I actually met that guy previously and spent a good deal of a day hanging out with him and talking to him. The guys that offered up dates or what not, I've never met in my life. Never seen them in person. Never had a conversation with. Never spent anytime with...NOTHING. They are just offers from men I know nothing about and have no idea what their intentions are.
If that makes me a bad person because I refuse to go on a date with a guy that is just a commenter on my blog or a Facebook friend (who I don't know)then so be it. It's just not something I'm comfortable with.
I don't know any woman that would accept an offer of a date from a guy that randomly sent her an email and she never met him before. Even on a blind date you have at least some sort of conversation or a little background on the person before you agree to meet.
And by me airing my frustration with dating or the lack there of is not intended to make guys feel sorry for me and ask me out. I'm not saying that I want "A" boyfriend. What I find interesting is that there are some guys that just because I talk about wanting a boyfriend or someone in my life they interrupt that as me willing to take whatever I can get.
I'm picky, maybe too picky. I'm also a handful. Two reasons I maybe single longer than I'd like. However, I'm not so hard up for a date that I'll take any offer on the table. Thanks, but I'm not wanting to waste your or my time.
It'll happen when it happens.