You've heard the saying many times, but is it really true? Can people change? Or is it in their blood to cheat and once they've done it they can't stop?
I've never been cheated on that I know of, but I know so many girls that have. I've known of a few guys as well but that number is a bit smaller. I can also say I've never cheated on anyone.
Now, I was the girl that a guy cheated on his girlfriend with with out my knowledge. You see when we met he told that he broke up with his girlfriend 5 months prior to us meeting, when in actuality he broke up with her 3 months after we started dating.
When he finally confessed to the "real" date that he broke up with her I was kind of stunned and didn't know what to think. I guess I went along with it at the time because I thought he was be honest. After that, when we started to drift apart s a couple and I could tell that his interest in me was changing, I remembered back to when he told me about his ex and how he acted towards her and it made me wonder if he was finding my replacement. Cuz, I always believed the saying, "Once a cheater always a cheater."
I have a friend that dated a married man. He gave her the line that his wife and he were getting a divorce. After she was hooked and they were dating, he confessed to her that while he was married he cheated on his wife in every town the they ever lived in. Needless to say, after dating for a year he dumped her for another girl. And you know what's funny? While dating the new chick he's still call and try to hook up with my friend. In his case, he never changed and probably never will.
Here's the thing. I have 2 stories of cheaters continuing to cheat, but I don't have any examples of people cheating once and that was it. Most of the time, the cheater is a habitual cheater. Almost to the point where it's an open relationship. Except there's only one partner that thinks it's open.
So can a person only cheat once? Or will they always be looking for the next best thing? If you found out that someone once cheated on a former mate, would you date them knowing those facts?
1 comment:
Erin-
Here's my thought on this... There are different kinds of cheaters.
There is the playboy, who is just looking for the next new and exciting thing. He will never let you fully into his life. He is usually good looking-and knows it. He knows he can always fine a hot piece of ass. Maybe someday someone comes along that he falls in love with and he changes his ways...maybe.
Then there is the married cheater, who is tied down with a spouse and kids. There isn't that passion anymore...but he still loves his wife. The stress of the mortgage, kids, work, money, etc... has really taken a toll. His wife has been nagging on him a lot to do the yard, fix the gutters, etc... He got married young. He isn't out looking for an affair, but he works closely with someone who initiates things. He feels wanted, needed, & special. He feels guilty about it. He doesn't want to lose his family but it feels good to have the "newness" feeling. When he gets caught, he confesses everything and begs his wife for forgiveness and goes through marriage counseling. He is truly sorry and never does this again.
Then...there is the jerk who repeatedly will cheat on his wife. He has a problem. He trolls Craigslist casual encounters frequently. His wife has no idea. Or she does, and keeps taking him back every time because she has kids, no job, no other resources. She is stuck. He doesn't get too worried about getting caught because he knows she isn't going anywhere. He is a slime ball. She has no self-esteem and thinks she could do no better. He will always cheat.
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