People do this all the time. They start a relationship with someone else before they end the current relationship they're in. There's overlapping and in my mind it's lame. Men and women alike do this and cause heartache. So why do they do it? Is it because the person can't be alone? Are they too insecure in their own skin to be by themselves?
I personally have never done this. One reason maybe because I never had multiple quality guys after me at the same time. Now even if I did have a plethora of men on my tail I still probably couldn't do it. I think i would feel a little dirty about the whole thing and that I was being dishonest.
Now, I'll admit one thing. I remember when I was happily married I never looked at other guys. Then when the marriage started to go down the toilet and I was falling out of love with my husband, I can remember my radar turning back on in my head and thinking that other men were attractive again. At first, I was confused and not sure what was going on in my head, but then I realized that I was not in love with him anymore and needed to take the next step which was to tell him that I wanted to get separated and then eventually divorced.
You see, that was my sign that I needed to move on, but it was not my sign to cheat. I'll admit that after I moved into my own apartment and stated to hang out with my girlfriends it wasn't long before I started dating someone. It was rather soon looking back now. However, my feelings of being trapped and being unhappy were manifesting well before the day I moved out. So when I lived on my own again I was ready to see what else was out there.
Now the person I ended up dating was a person that was moved on in his mind with his girlfriend and yet dating other girls before eventually cutting it off with her. When I asked him why he didn't cut it off with her at the same time he was done with her in his mind, he said that there was always something that came up and he felt bad.
For instance, her mom got sick, or something happened and he felt he needed to be there. As nice as it seems to be that he was wanting to look out for her and spare a ton of grief at once, I think I'd rather have someone break up with me right away then drag it out, lead me on, and let me continue to develop feelings for them. Who wants to look back and feel a fool because the person didn't really care about you. (It was a cowardly thing to do and to this day I feel bad for her.)
Now like I said, people do this all the time and I just don't understand how they can pull it off. Morals aside, I'm talking about how does a person find somebody to move on with so quickly? I never seem to meet anyone that I remotely find interesting let alone someone that I leave a relationship for. Am I missing something here?
Are the people that move one from relationship to another without any alone time just needy people? Are those people settling because they can't be alone? Is it because they are selfish?
11 comments:
I gave you my dissertation on this last week, pretty much all of the above. They are one or more of the following: insecure, codependent, or selfish. Selfish because they don't seem to care about how their actions affect the other person. People that relationship hop could be unhappy with themselves, so they might looking for happiness through companionship. You have to love yourself first before you can love someone else. Everyone should experience a period without dating anyone for a while to get to know who you are. That is my opinion.
MG
First of all, you are starting to sound like a whiner. It's not attractive.
Second: When it comes to women and men, women are like monkeys and vines. They won't let go of one until they have another. True.
You would be that way too Erin.... if you had a man to begin with. The fact that you complain about men so much and cry about being single sort of leaves you out of the topic. Don't brag you don't overlap relations when you don't HAVE ANY relationships.
Not to be totally mean but SHUT THE F*** UP. I don't even know you and I hate you.
Hi
Hi Erin,
I don't even know you and I like you. Ha ha :-)
Keep on blogging.
Ron
Milwaukee
I heard you on the Hot show last week and I think you are a hypocrite. You said that you didn't like seeing hot guys with girls that are not as attractive or girls that are trying too hard... you know the girl with the spanx and the 3 hours to do her hair and make-up. Yet YOU then talked about going to get your lips done and cellulite and stuff.. it's the same thing get over yourself. Stop being a hater, it only makes you ugly on the inside and out.
To the person that made the last comment. Hypocrite to what? 1.Your comment doesn't pertain to this blog. 2. I didn't say I dont like hot guys with less attractive girls. I was saying that I don't take 3 hrs to get ready and I think guys prefer that high maintenance girl.
Maybe you're offended cuz it takes you 3 hours.
If it makes ne a bad person because there's things I want to fix about myself because I don't like it...then so be it.
We all judge...and your comment makes it clear.
Can you take a picture of what you look like with zero makeup? Also, pull your hair back so we can really see your face. I've seen women that only take 15 minutes to get ready and still look like another person when they take their makeup off. A little eye makeup and tinted moisturizer and make a 2 a 10!
What's with all the crabby people here in comment-land.
(I not associated with any of the other anonymous commenters)
Thanks for still writing Erin as i still see what you are doing as you are away from WIsconsin enjoying the weather. I personally would find it hard to move on right away as well cause if i am stil thinking of the other person i wont be giving my best to the person i am seeing or going on a date with or whatever. There has to be some time inbetween so you can see what you really want. I know you are a lovely girl and will find someone out there for you if its there or here in WIsconsin or inbetween. I hope to here more from you Hope you only the best wishes
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