Wednesday, August 17, 2011
CUT IT OFF BEFORE YOU MOVE ON
People do this all the time. They start a relationship with someone else before they end the current relationship they're in. There's overlapping and in my mind it's lame. Men and women alike do this and cause heartache. So why do they do it? Is it because the person can't be alone? Are they too insecure in their own skin to be by themselves?
I personally have never done this. One reason maybe because I never had multiple quality guys after me at the same time. Now even if I did have a plethora of men on my tail I still probably couldn't do it. I think i would feel a little dirty about the whole thing and that I was being dishonest.
Now, I'll admit one thing. I remember when I was happily married I never looked at other guys. Then when the marriage started to go down the toilet and I was falling out of love with my husband, I can remember my radar turning back on in my head and thinking that other men were attractive again. At first, I was confused and not sure what was going on in my head, but then I realized that I was not in love with him anymore and needed to take the next step which was to tell him that I wanted to get separated and then eventually divorced.
You see, that was my sign that I needed to move on, but it was not my sign to cheat. I'll admit that after I moved into my own apartment and stated to hang out with my girlfriends it wasn't long before I started dating someone. It was rather soon looking back now. However, my feelings of being trapped and being unhappy were manifesting well before the day I moved out. So when I lived on my own again I was ready to see what else was out there.
Now the person I ended up dating was a person that was moved on in his mind with his girlfriend and yet dating other girls before eventually cutting it off with her. When I asked him why he didn't cut it off with her at the same time he was done with her in his mind, he said that there was always something that came up and he felt bad.
For instance, her mom got sick, or something happened and he felt he needed to be there. As nice as it seems to be that he was wanting to look out for her and spare a ton of grief at once, I think I'd rather have someone break up with me right away then drag it out, lead me on, and let me continue to develop feelings for them. Who wants to look back and feel a fool because the person didn't really care about you. (It was a cowardly thing to do and to this day I feel bad for her.)
Now like I said, people do this all the time and I just don't understand how they can pull it off. Morals aside, I'm talking about how does a person find somebody to move on with so quickly? I never seem to meet anyone that I remotely find interesting let alone someone that I leave a relationship for. Am I missing something here?
Are the people that move one from relationship to another without any alone time just needy people? Are those people settling because they can't be alone? Is it because they are selfish?