Wednesday, February 10, 2010

HOW DO YOU STOP LOOKING? WHAT IS LOOKING?

I love the advice that people in relationships give to people that are single, "When you stop looking that's when it happens.' But how do you ever stop looking?

I've been single for 2 and half years now. I've had little "mini relationships" here and there but, nothing that has ever lasted more than a month or 2.

I was talking to girlfriend about this very subject today. We were talking about how we hate when people tell us that. Here's why. How do you REALLY stop looking? Then you think you've stopped looking but really you look even more. Or you get paranoid that if you find someone attractive...that means you're looking.

So does that mean if I see a guy say at the gym, and I think he's kind of cute, am I looking?

It's hard enough to meet good people these days. But am I supposed to wait for "Love" to come smack me upside my head? I know I shouldn't go around looking for a guy everywhere I go. I get that. No need to be crazy like the astronuat lady.

I actually got a very nice email from a girl that has been following thisblog. She wanted to let me know not to get discouraged. To keep the faith Se went on to tell me that she too had many of the same things happen to her in the dating world. She also told me that she met her current boyfriend at a random hole in the wall bar while out of town on business.

So for her I get that she wasn't looking for it just then. It was a completely random event and sounds to me like it happened when she least expected it. Which is a really cute story.

I don't think it happens for everyone like that. So is it wrong to try to give love a push? You know, be on a site like match.com. Technically that's looking!!!Isn't it?

I just feel like it works different for everyone. And is it a bad thing to meet a boyfriend or girlfriend off a dating site?

How about a little old school flavour for ya!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think what these well meaning advice givers are probably trying to tell you is keep looking, date a lot of men & often, but don't expect any of these men to be the ONE. Just have fun. Then, just when you least expect it, you'll find you're with the right one.

steven Brandner said...

my dad has been single for almost 2 years now and i want him to be happy i think that being single or trying to find a relationship is you will meet someone sometime and it will just be a instant connection I know tht he will find someone in his life because he has been a great dad and has been there for me and my brothers and sisters. I know that you will find someone that wants to be with you. to bad taht you moved other wise i would think you and my dad would get along really good because he is an awsome dad and i know he will make some girl happy. So how has texas been

Anonymous said...

Man, I love Johnny Lee. Thanks.

Anonymous said...

One can never get it right: if you're looking, you're trying too hard, if you're not, then you're not giving it your best shot.

Online dating seems waste of time. I personally get more depressed - because you're looking, yet knowing that there is no one you like out of 2500 > people - quite discouraging.

best,
D