Monday, October 12, 2009


Someone made that comment today when we were talking about my recent breakup. I told him that in the last 2 years my dating timeline hasn't been very impressive. Ever since my breakup with Mr. Dallas, who I dated a year and a half, my track record has been 2-3 months. I've been really beating myself up over this since I had my most recent break up.

I've been wondering why is it that around that 2-3 month mark do things go south. Let me just say that with these relationships, not every single one of them were the guys breaking up with me. Sometimes I wasn't feeling it either. There was a couple times where the guys did something completely stupid which made it easy for me to say, "AHHH, yeah done." matter how you slice it...breaking up sucks! Even though I only dated the latest guy about 2 months, it still hurts. It hurts because I don't know why he felt he didn't want to try harder, or what I did wrong, or my famous question....WHAT's WRONG WITH ME?

That's something that with every breakup. Even though I get the typical..."It's not you" speech every time...I still think, there has to be something wrong with me. I haven't had boyfriend for longer than a few months in the last 2 years and I'm starting to feel like a failure.

When I expressed my feelings of failure to my coworker he asked why would you feel that way. I told him that I feel like I can't keep a guy around for longer than a few months and I was bummed that I had another failed relationship.

He had 2 thoughts. 1. Maybe you just haven't found the right guy yet. There's nothing wrong with me, but maybe I just haven't found the guy for me. MAYBE? 2. If you think about it every relationship you have is a failed one til you find the person you marry.

He's right in a way. Every relationship that you're in will be one that doesn't work out till you find the person you marry. Now, will that work out? As a person that's divorced and thought I would grow old with that person, I can say sometimes that doesn't work out either.

I've got to keep my head up. As much as it stinks to have another break up, I've got to believe that I am a good person and this doesn't define me. If it's meant to be it will be and I've got to think that in the 4th largest city in the country I'll be able to find a match for me somewhere.

1 comment:

John said...

The dating world is tough, especially the more we get set in our ways and so much experience to compare everything and everyone to. You are a great girl and you're co-worker is right, it is a numbers game, keep swinging for the fences and it will happen.

"Platonic Invite"

p.s. Love your post about being a little messy, I get that complaint sometimes, although women are more accepting than men.