I've noticed a trend in men that I encounter lately. As I've said before in this blog, I truly believe men can not be alone. Hence why after a break up or divorce, men 9 times out of 10 will either have a new person in their life or will be married before the girl will. My ex is a perfect example of that.
I've noticed this a lot in men that have either already been married or have had a serious long term live in girlfriend. Although, now that I think about it, an ex boyfriend of mine was dating me while technically never breaking up with his long distance girlfriend till I was in the picture. We had been dating at least 2 months prior to him breaking it off with her.
A guy that I was hanging out with for awhile was going through a divorce. He said that he had a pattern of going from one relationship to the next. I actually already decided we would never really date. Reason 1. was he was going through a divorce which he didn't want. I determined he probably wasn't dealing with it well and I was not going to be a rebound. Reason 2. He also told me that he was used to women chasing after him. I just didn't see that being good. and Reason 3. After he told me he went from relationship to relationship...I decided that this man needed to spend time alone and play the field a bit.
He was acting really into me. He would do very sweet things. Very sweet...but I noticed he had NO real guy friends. No guys to go to the bars with . No guys friends to invite over for the game. My thought is that he went from relationship to the next because he had no friends to occupy his off time.
I noticed that with another man going through marital problems. He's very very nice guy. He's attractive but...he's in a marriage that's been going south for awhile. I think for a second he thought if he got divorced he'd want to date me. I know he said he was really worried that once he got divorced he'd never find someone. He was worried he was too old. Keep in mind, he's in his late 30's with no kids. I told him that he would have no problem at all. But, here's also what I noticed...he has no real guy friends either.
So I'm starting to notice that guys that don't have real guy friends tend to be more into relationships and feel the need to be in one...where as guys with a ton of guy friends tend to stay single longer.
Take for instance, take a guy I dated here in Milwaukee for several months. He at first seemed really into the relationship. But after awhile he didn't include me in as much stuff. He had to go to class, then he had practice, then he needed to go to the gym...blah blah blah. When we broke up he actually told me that he hasn't been exercising like he wants to because he hangs out with me. Yet, any extra time he did have...he hung out with his guy friends and fit me in after.
After we broke up, you might remember that he was the one that started dating a girl out of state because it was easy and he could do what he wanted during the week and weekends when she wasn't around.
There's a prime example of a guy that's into having a little too much guy time. So much in fact, that he can't have a real relationship. He's the guy that will squeeze you in when he's not busy...versus the guy that will make time for you. In fact, the other guys he hangs out with are just as guilty...and some of them are married.
I guess you just need to be careful of the guys that's in need of relationship and need to be aware of the guy that just likes hanging with the boys. Either one in my opinion is not going to start a healthy relationship with you. Either they'll want to spend every waking moment with you or every waking moment with everyone but you.