Wednesday, July 15, 2009


I know this may be a weird sounding theory but, hear me out on this one. Most women have the general opinion that men are pigs, but is it our faults and did we make them that way?

Think about that stuff men pull on women. They cheat on their spouses, hang out with the guys all hours of the night, text and call women other then their S.O. Maybe the reason men do all these things is because over the years men have been trained to do it because they know they can get away with it.

For instance, man cheats on his wife. We see it all the time. Like the police chief in Milwaukee, or The Governor of NY. Now, in the case of the police chief, it sounds like he and his wife have some weird arrangement where he gets to do whatever he wants. His wife and him haven't lived in the same city for the last 3-4 job moves he's made. Here's the thing, she accepts it and stays with him. Hence, making it OK to do whatever he wants. He's be trained. Or the Governor of NY having a repeated affair with a prostitute. Now, she may have had no idea prior but, after the crap hit the fan, she stood by his side. Accepting his adulterous behaviour.

Think about when you're dating a guy and he's acting shady by calling other girls or turning his phone off. Instead of putting our foot down and kicking them to the curb, we give them a tough tongue lashing and let them slide. Accepting their bad behavior.

The saying is...give'em an inch they'll take a foot. Maybe after so many generations of women just putting up with it, men have taken that foot and are getting away with it.

Think about if tables were turned and us ladies cheated on our guys. Most men would not hesitate to get the hell out of that. Or say I was out and my guy saw me hanging with so other guy...having drinks. I'd be done. Or if I didn't call my boyfriend back for days at a time. They know that's unacceptable. So, why do women put up with it? Why are we so afraid to be tougher and stronger?

I've probably have forgiven things I shouldn't have. I usually woke and smelled what was cooking..but, it did take me a second. Like a guy I dated who went to Vegas with the boys for a weekend. He called me and told me that a girl followed him up to his room late one night. He of course is drunk and has "no idea" what's going on. According to him, he's just having a friendly chat with a girl. As the story unravels, girl gets into his room and propositions him for a service. He apparently had no idea that she was a hooker and told her to leave. Here's the good part, she left her car, and house keys in his room. and he came back to town with him.(I ended finding them at his bedroom)

Now, at the time I believed him. But as time goes on I smell something fishy with that story. If that hooker was only in the room for a couple minutes before he shooed her out...How did she forget her keys? Why would she leave them out long enough? She obviously had to set them down and why would she do that if she was just there for a minute or 2? My vote is that something happened with her. What do you say?

I know...I probably look like an idiot for believing him. To my defense we were only dating a month or so at the time so I couldn't tell if he was lying. But, if I were smart, I should've broken up with him then and there simply for the fact that he's an idiot to get himself in that position in the first place. I should've been smart enough to say, "No, I don't want to be with someone that would remotely behave that way." I didn't, I accepted and believed. Now, I may never know what REALLY happened that night but I think it's probably pretty obvious.

Think about all the things that girls complain that guys do and pull. If the shoe were on the other foot, men would not put up with it. They would be on to the next girl so fast. So ladies, the next time you are complaining about your man being a pig...maybe you need to grow a set of cajones...and stand up for yourself and not put up with it.


Dude said...

You're right Erin, no girl has EVER cheated on a guy and he stuck around. I'm begining to see why you are still single. Poor Me, Blah, Blah, Blah. I've been cheated on several times, by several women, and it is hard to just say good-bye. If you have an ounce of emotion, it is not easy to just say good-bye and walk away. Weather you were together a month or 5 years. There is a sense of pride, and you want to prove to them you are good enough, and it is stupid at the time, but rational thinking is not available.

Try being a little less synical and enjoy the time you have in front of you instead of thinking about all the things that could go wrong. No one is perfect, but in theory, there is someone for everyone.

-This one guy you know...

Erin Austin said...


I know that I'm cynical...I admit that I have a wall up. I have been dissapointed and it hangs with me.

My ex husband said to me once..."erin you shouldn't date because guys just dissapoint you."

Don't know if those are words of wisdom or he's trying make me miserable.

And don't think that I think only MEN cheat...remember I;m a girl speaking from a women's point of view.

Although here's my ex boyfriend Sean...I remember that after one of our dates he hought I was unappreciative of the date...I was not into it like he thought I should be. He actuallythought that he should break up with me cuz I wasn't excited like he thought I should be...

When in reality...I was struggling with..."this guy is really nice to me...but should I even be dating anyone right now."

He was "this close" to dumping me.

I agree I'm cynical...I probably am that way so I don't get hurt...but I still do.

Anonymous said...

Dear Erin,

You seem like a fun, intelligent, outgoing and adventurous young woman. I listened to you on the radio and found you insightful and entertaining. I would think you'd have much to offer a good guy.

And there ARE good guys. I truly feel like you reap what you sew, and if you go into relationships (romantic or otherwise) with the cynical chip-on-your-shoulder attitude, you're eventually only going to get that in return. There's a lot to be said about power in positive thinking. Or laws off attraction. Or whatever you want to call it. Live for today and tomorrow, don't dwell on the past. Learn from your mistakes. Be confident in who you are as a person as it exudes your true beauty, which will in turn attract your equal. Breathe deeply and trust in yourself to attract the mate you desire. And don't' be desperate.

Bottom line, if you go into anything expecting disppointment, that's exactly what you're going to get. Go into situations with the expectation that you're going to have fun and have a new experience. And appreciate it for what it is, nothing more nothing less.

PS, I learned these lessons finally at the age of 34, and find myself happily married five years later to the most incredible person. A perfect person? No. But a person who believes and trusts in me as I do him, and a man who is willing to work through the difficult times with love, patience and understanding.

You're beautiful, believe it and live it!

Erin Austin said...


I appreciate your kind words. I know it doesn't sound like it but I swear I'm becoming more optimistic about love...

I cynisism lately is because what some of my girlfriends are dealing with. Not with me directly.

I hope that very soon I will have a nice clean slate to work from

Anonymous said...

I can't believe nobody commented on that ugly picture. OMG, I have to scroll down so I couldn't look at it. It really grossed me out.

Erin Austin said...

I know right...sad thing is...that's all I could find!