Monday, May 4, 2009

THE FEAR OF FAILURE

Everyone I think in some way shape or form is scared of failure. Personally and professionally. Some of us are so consumed by it that we fail to make the proper moves in our life. Afraid of the unknown. Consumed by the what ifs.

In professional areas I think many of us are afraid of failure. I know I am. I'm afraid of 1. Will I find another job? 2. When I get a job...will I still know what I'm doing and do well? 3. Will my career ever be what I want it to be? I don't know which one consumes me more. Now that I've been somewhat out of work for awhile, I wonder do I still have the skills to put on a show? In the nearly 7 months of being off the air...can I still be entertaining?

Many people fear losing their job these days. With so many people out of work in every field, people that are still employed wonder are they going to make the cut...are they next to get the ax? It's a very stressful position to be in. No matter if you have a family or you're all alone and just have yourself to take care of.

Personally, is another area we have the fear of failure. I can think of several scenarios. I remember, when I thought of getting divorced I remember thinking could I afford to go it alone? My ex made a salary in the 6 figures, while I made a salary of $27,000 a year. We were a package deal where we got hired and he got the better end of the package. I made extra money here and there through things at work..but it wasn't something that was not guaranteed. I knew if I got divorced my lifestyle would change. No more fancy dinners...no more cute house with all the amenities. Nope! I did it though. I moved out into a 1 bedroom apartment with a freezer that melted all my food and a heater that made horrible noises at night. Oh yeah, and the hallway smelled like pee. I know things would be uncomfortable for awhile. Going from having someone always there, to having no one even around. Going from buying things if I wanted, to to bouncing my checking account. All the while I wasn't worried if I'd meet someone because all I knew was that I deserved to be treated better than I had been treated. I took the leap and made it.

I still have the fear that I will fail at my next marriage(if that ever happens). After my divorce I went through a LONG period where I feel like I failed. I felt like I was a bad person. That I was less of a person because I was divorced. It has taken me a long time to tell myself that "I didn't fail the marriage, I tried. He didn't want to try. I wanted counseling. He canceled the appointments. So it's not me the failed. That person failed me and failed to be my husband through good times and bad til death do us part."

It's easy to say but, we need to stop worrying about failure. No more worrying about "what ifs." Try your damnedest and take a leap. It may be uncomfortable, it may be out of your comfort zone, but you never know what your life can truly be if you worry about failure.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Success is just around the corner for you. As a Leo, the two areas you worry about the most are about to change really soon(your love life & professional life). You'll probably see signs of this toward the end of this month. Leos have had a tough time (this goes back a few years) but its going to get better & this is Leo's year. You don't have to publish this because I know a lot of people think astrology is crazy or evil. But for me, this stuff always comes true. (Self fulfilling prophecy?)

Anonymous said...

for being "over your ex," you seem to write a lot about him and his 6 figure salary. Maybe you should evaluate your priorities.

Erin Austin said...

Give me a break!!! I was with that man even when he didn't make 6 figures and I was with him when he was jobless...so thanks for your comment!

I know some people may never experience dealing with that!

Erin Austin said...

and further more I think most women considering a divorce and their husband makes more than them....that is always a concern for them...so eat it!