God know that I have enough on my plate right now. God knows, that at the moment I don't want anything serious...and God knows that I'm really not dwelling on this...just a little sad at the moment. I'm the last single girl.
We've talked about this before. In the past I've been upset and bothered knowing everyone seems to have someone except me. I've been upset over it and a little depressed. Lately, I feel fine with not having a boyfriend. I mean, anytime I'll find a job more than likely out of the area and there will be no point in dating anyone seriously.
Although, I can't help but be a little sad when all my friends seem to be busy making plans with the guys in their life and they don't as much time with you as they used to. Funny thing is, I know that's how it goes. It's the nature of relationships. Girl finds guy...and girl doesn't spend time with friends as much. I guess I'm just sad because it's ALL of my girls now. Even my friends back home. I think I'm the only girl that's got NOBODY. I guess I'm just a little sad that we don't all have the free time like we used to.
Like I said, I know this is how it goes. It's too bad right now...but I've noticed the change. If your friend can squeeze you in...the guy is always there or you end up being the extra wheel everywhere, or they just aren't free. And I feel kind of silly because I'm always available. I'm the one without a boyfriend so I've got more time. I feel like if the girls ask me to do something I have to do it because if I don't, this was my one shot and their schedule is full so take it or leave it.
It's the nature of life. You find someone and things change. I was getting so used to us girls doing everything together that now that it's different...it's tough. Although I should get used to not hanging with my girlfriends as much. Soon enough I won't be hanging out with them at all. I may not even talk with them as much. I'll have moved and started spending my time in a new city by myself. My girlfriends here in Milwaukee I got fairly easy. It all seemed to fall into place. Will the next place be as easy?
I'm excited about the possibility of moving and getting a fresh start. The problem with that is...when you move to a new city you really DO have to start all over again! New friends...new home...new gym...new restaurants...new place to learn and a NEW JOB! Then the dating!!! In the nearly 2 years that I've lived here, the longest I've dated someone is 3 months and the back and forth afterwards. But, we met online. 1 other guy that lasted a month ...online. When I move, how am I going to meet people? Only online?? It's not like I've had a ton of success. Will I live in the next city for years and years and never find anyone but all my friends will?