Wednesday, May 6, 2009


As you know I have a lot of time on my hands these and I think A LOT! I ponder all sorts of things. From the "Am I Normal?" to the "Wow that's interesting." I think when...see there I an thinking again...but seriously, when I get towards that time (if you know what I mean)I start to think even more. Or maybe I just pay more attention to those little thoughts.

I was sitting in the bathroom and wondered why is it that when I go to the bathroom I sometimes just want to sit and think? Why do I find the toilet a good place to contemplate my life? Do you ever do that? Like today, I'm at work going pee. I'm done, but I continue to sit there because it's quiet and I can just think and ask questions to myself. This may sound bizarre but I ask God questions too. For instance, With my hands covering my face, I ask inside my head, "God when will ever find a new job? God I pray that you'll bring me a job that's a good opportunity for me."

Do you ever wonder if people think about you? There's several people that I've called a few times and they've never got back to me. Do they even care? When people think of you do they think fondly? I wonder sometimes who thinks of me. When they think of me do they wish that they would've done something differently? Treated me differently, wish that we met at a different time in life? Do they think I'm funny...or weird? Does it really mean someone is thinking of you when your ears burn or your nose itches?

Do you ever wish you could just show them? I think about that sometimes. Like my ex. I'd like to show him that I could do it without him. That I could get a job on my own without his help. Even though I have always appreciated the help he gave...I want to see if I can do it by myself. Even though he makes 6 figures, I can be just as successful without him. I hope one day I can show just how far I've come. Or the ex-boyfriend that dumped you and he finds out you're even hotter, and more successful than when you two were together.

Do you ever daydream what it would be like to win the lottery? I think about all the people I'd give money to and projects I'd start up. I like to think about how my parents wouldn't need to worry anymore. Like getting them a personal chef to watch what they eat. I also think snotty stuff like whose house I'd drive by in my brand new Mercedes Benz CLS..honk..flip them the bird and yell "SUCKER!" out my window!

Do you ever think about what you may look like when you're old? Will you stay in good shape? Or will you turn into a big person? How wrinkly are you going to get? Will you be alone in a nursing home? I know that's a scary thought.

Do you ever wonder why you dream about the people you do? Lately I've been having weird dreams about people in my past. One of the dreams made no sense at all and the other dream I actually had last night. I had a dream that this person was hurting my feeling and didn't even care. I actually had that as a reoccurring dream when I still spoke with them. you ever do, think, or wonder those things?


Pete said...

fantastic blog entry!! undoubtedly one of your best yet!! i lol'ed about you being in the can at work. it's good to see the lighter side of you. :D i know what i'll be thinkin about the next time i go drop a duece. >.<

Ambassador of Mediocrity said...

Do you ever wonder how many forms of hepatitis you got from putting your hands on your face in a public bathroom?
Sometimes I read your posts and I just want to give you a hug. Nothing that would cause legal action or anything. Completely platonic, like I would hug my mom or sister (arms above shoulder blades, no hip contact lasting no longer than 7 seconds). Just to say "Hey, it'll be ok. And if it's not you'll eventually die someday so it won't last forever." You know, something supportive.