DO YOU EVER WONDER..."WHY DO I EVEN BOTHER?"

I sometimes wonder “Why do I even bother?” “Why do I even waste my money?” I try to be optimistic by giving something a try but then after a week or so I realize…nope still the same. I’m talking about MATCH.COM. I was on there for nearly a year with a few connections. Obviously none of those worked out as you can see but, I still try to remain friends with them.

Here’s the thing…after I tried giving someone a chance last October, I told myself that no matter how this ends up…I’m off MATCH.COM. I was starting to feel a little pathetic on there. I was on there a year and all I could find was one guy I dated for 3 months and then he decides he doesn’t really want to be serious…he needed his "ME" time. Then the last guy I dated was a guy from Chicago that all the sudden dropped off the face of the planet…then a week later writes me this huge email telling me that he’s screwed up in the head…and is going to see someone about his problems, because he had a traumatic childhood.

Well since then, I haven’t had much success on my own. I went a few dates with one guy in December who basically told me after date 2 that I wasn’t the “girl of his dreams.” Now funny thing is, I actually still talk to this guy and were friends! Sometimes I wonder why…because he just likes talking to me on the phone…but whatever. So I thought “Oh what the hell!...I’ve got nothing else going on…maybe I’ll do MATCH again…at least it’ll be entertainment. OH BOY…IS IT ENTERTAINING ALRIGHT!!!

So I updated my profile, added a few remarks and paid my $45 for 3 months of fun. The emails and winks started to come in. I wish I could legally show you the pictures of the guys that wink or email me…honestly it’s not pretty. I would venture to say that about 1 out of every 10 is someone I might find potential in. I think half the time these guys don’t even read my bio…they just look at a few pics; decide I’m not horrible to look at then email. I would say 75% of the guys have some sort of facial hair…and 50% of those guys have beards!!! WHAT?....NO!!...I don’t do dudes with beards. I honestly think that they took their picture after spending about a month in a cabin up north.

You know I was talking to a girlfriend the other day and I was telling her all the non-connections that we’re finding me. You know what she said? “Erin, well you were just complaining about not getting any male attention lately…so you really can’t be picky when you get it.” Oh yes I can…and I will. To me, I think I would rather feel lonely then have a ton of guys that look like they hang in biker bars hot after me. It just really doesn’t make your ego feel good either way.

So now I’m starting to wonder…”Why did I shell out the $45?” Granted $45 isn’t necessarily a ton of money, but I could’ve spent that money on a pair of shoes…a sweater…gas…drinks with the girls. Now I have 3 months of non-ego boosting fun. I also wonder why I joined because, let’s face it…I’m looking to move too.

It’s no secret that I’m looking for my next job opportunity. It’s also no secret that I’m looking for jobs outside our fair city. So if I’m looking to move…why did I bother to sign back up for MATCH.COM? I think part of the answer is I am lonely and I would like to meet someone…maybe not the man I’ll marry but someone to hang out with in the mean time. (I know that sounds bad) I also think I’m bored. Take this for example…I come home from work and the gym every night, make dinner and then either get on my computer or sit on the couch and spoon my dog. I truly think that I’ve been looking at MATCH as a form of entertainment. Can I tell you I’ve spent every night this week falling asleep on my couch with a blanket and my dog the entire night? What’s wrong with me?