In the last week or so I've heard this several times, where a guy wants a girl where his life becomes her life. Does anyone besides me find that to be a little strange?
In one instance I had a guy tell me that he wants to find a girl that fits into HIS lifestyle. When I asked what that meant, he basically said that he wanted a girl that had the same hours as him, she liked to most of the same stuff as him, and he wanted to find her either at his job or in his normal everyday life...like at the grocery store. Now I understand that you want to have a lot of the same interests but having the same schedule? That's kind of tough. I know that when I was doing mornings I just wanted a guy that could understand my schedule and be able to accommodate. He didn't need to go to work at the crack of dawn like I did.
Then my girlfriend told me today about a guy that she knew that had been thinking of breaking up with his girlfriend but has never had the balls to pull the trigger. He started making excuses why he hadn't yet. One of them was the fact that he liked that she would make her life...his life. Does that make sense? He liked the fact that all the things "he" liked to do and all the things that were "his" interests all became "her interests. He also liked the fact her life was centered around him!!! WHAT? Am I the only one that finds this extremely disturbing? So I guess never mind having a woman that has her own life, interests, thoughts, and aspirations! Because that guy apparently only wants a woman that can nod her head up and down!
I also know a guy that is a variation of the 2 guys listed above. This guy has his own interests like running, biking, and other stuff. Well when he dated a girl that decided it would be a good idea to ride together, he didn't like it. In fact, he thought of that time as "his" time and didn't think that she would be able to keep up. Which makes sense...I get that. I think that you should always have your own set of things that YOU like to do alone.
Now, here's where the variation comes in. He is the type of guy that I don't think really wants a career woman. He wants a woman that will stay at home and take care of the kids just like his mom did. In fact, he told me that. He said that he wanted a girl to stay home because he thought that since he was raised that way and he turned out o.k., that was the way to go. Now there's nothing wrong with wanting that and nothing wrong with his mom staying at home. My mom did. It's just that I think he wasn't going to except any girl that wanted to be outside the home. In turn, he'll feel in control because she then relies on him.
I know that when you become a couple you start to take interests that your partner has. It's only natural but at the same time you need to be your own person and not a shadow of someone else. The problem that I have with the 3 scenarios is that I feel like I did most of those things when I was married. I worked in the same building and usually the same hours as my ex and look. I moved my life and had my career on hold for him. We usually did things that he wanted to do because if he didn't want to do something, he'd make me miserable in the process. And lastly, I've always been motivated by my career. As I mentioned earlier my mom stayed at home and I don't think that I or my brothers turned out any better than a child that had a working mom. I know that IF I ever have children someday I would still need to work. I would need the outside stimulation and I'd need to feel like I'm contributing monetarily. I never want to feel like I'm relying on others for money.
I know guys like to feel like the man of the house and like to feel important. But why do they like to have things revolve around them?