Wednesday, March 25, 2009

DO I JUST HAVE BAD TIMING OR BAD LUCK?

There a few things that are no secret with me. One of them is, right now all my friends have someone they're dating except me. Granted, not all of it is completely fantastic but, they've all have at least someone. Number 2. I don't believe in "the one". I believe that you are truly compatible with more than one person. One thing that my friends have told me and I think they might actually be right is that I HAVE BAD LUCK WITH MEN...AND HORRIBLE TIMING!!!

I think of when I met Sean. We got along great, things were progressing nicely, then...he moves because his brother has cancer. After that, timing was all off. I tried to get a job in Austin where he lived but that fell through. I tried getting a job in Dallas but, I moved here instead. Yeah! My timing couldn't have been worse!

Then, I think of a guy that had a girlfriend break up with him shortly before he started dating me. At first things were great. Then, I think he realized that a girlfriend takes time and work and he wanted to spend more time doing "his" stuff and playing the field. Again, me and my timing.

Now lets go to guys I simply encounter or have showed interest in me. May it be the married guy that WANTS a divorce or the married guy GOING through a divorce. My timing again and luck are impecable! Really? Does it ever get any better?

I'm starting to wonder if this is just how it's always going to be. Me, attracting and being attrached to men that are UNAVAILABLE!! They're unavailable in every way. They're unavailable emotionally, physically...they're just NOT someone that I can have! It's actaully starting to make me irratated. You know, my girlfriends are starting to notice the trend of the men that like me. Either they are NOT what I'm looking for, or I don't find them attractive. Or the men that like me have something in their life that makes them unattainable.

I wrote a note on my Facebook page how I seem to have bad luck and timing and Erin sucks! The comments came coming in. Advice telling me to "Stop looking and start living!" What? What do you think I'm doing? I almost feel selfish because most of the stuff I do, I do for MYSELF!!! I have traveled to Europe for vacation TWICE ALONE!!! Is that not living for myself? After my divorce I bought my SUV. I found it on the internet in Dallas, TX. I negotiaited the deal by myself. I flew to Dallas, took a cab to the dealership, bought the car and drove it back to St. Louis all by myself. No Guy came along or helped me. Hell I was even dating Sean at the time...he didn't come with me. I moved to Milwaukee ALONE AND FOR MYSELF!! When will I not be by myself?

I had someone else comment, "Erin go to Europe and find a man, guys in America suck!" Well I would but, see comment above. I never looked for a guy in Europe but, my trip to France I had not a single guy hit on me. My trip to Italy I did but, one guy had the teeth of a sewer rat and the other guy was about 22 years old.

So what's the deal? Do I have have bad luck? Does someone have a voodoo doll on me or some sort of spell cast on me? Seriously, I'm ready to start consulting a Wiccan to cast a good luck spell on me! Or is my clock of life off? Everyone I encounter I'm just an off by a few months and if would've met them just a bit later I might be happier?

10 comments:

ME That Knows said...

You don't have bad luck you just don't know how to play the game. you want it all right now, right away. You don't believe in the spark and instant "love" but that's what you want. Let it build and watch "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" a few hundred times until you get it.

-Him

Erin Austin said...

I've never seen the movie but I'll watch it...although I think you're missing the point.

My bad luck or bad timing in my opinion has nothing to do with "instant love". It's all about the people I meet are all unattainable. They might be an interest by both parties but one of the parties has their own set of issues keeping them from moving forward in any way.

Conquistador of Apathy said...

Was that THE LORD who left that post?
Austininan 2:12- I, who am HE, who is ME, and also HIM, who is all knowing, all seeing, command ye to view lame ass flick. IT SHALL BE DONE!

Anonymous said...

You sound way to desperate and angry to attract any man. Think about how you sound to others, including men. Like attracts like. Your are attracting exactly what you are putting out into the universe. The anger and desperation come across in every single word you say. You really need to rethink Erin!!

Erin Austin said...

Oh my! That's funny! thank you for the snicker Conquistador of Apathy! I love it!

As for Anonymous...I wouldn't say i sound the way you think...although perception is reality. Here's what I feel. I sometimes feel lonely. I sometimes feel sad. I sometimes feel relieved.

What i never feel is desperate. I think desperate is when you settle with just about anything because you're in search for something. I don't get asked out a lot but the people that have me out, if I'm not feeling it...I don't go. If I were despaerate, I would.

Am I angry at times. When I wrote this last blog the other day I was so irratated. And to be honest lately, I feel kind of out of sorts and confused.

Although, i think a lot of people feel the way I do they just keep it inside.

The knowledgable one... said...

They keep it inside and you post it for all the world to read. Good for you. Get it off your chest... NMHSIMB.

It is amazing the re-buttle you have for every comment that doesn't agree with you. You sure can justify your point of view, and it seems like a lot of those comments are trying to help you.

I know a few people like that, they are called nacosists.

Erin Austin said...

Sorry Messiah, Not sure I follow your NTSKJGS...whatever that is! I'm sure to you it means somethng profound!

I sometimes do have a rebuttle but are you blind to the fact that I DID aggree with them as well?

I agree I could come across angry, fustrated, annoyed. However, I will never agree with desperate! Most nights I spend alone. In my mind, desperate is when one can't be alone.

So we will have to agree to disagree on that.

As for the the term narcissism means love of oneself, and refers to the set of character traits concerned with self-admiration, self-centeredness and self-regard.

I would consider myself self-loathing and a girl that truly thinks way too much about why things happen.

Trev said...

Since I don't know what the fuck "NMHSIMB" means, I've come up with plausible interpretations....

Nobody Makes Hot Salsa In My Bathroom

Naughty Midgets Hijack Spanish Inbound Motor Boats

Norma Makes Horses Sit In Morbid Barns (that bitch)

Normal Masochists Have Several Iron Maidens Below

Nebraska Makes Hawaii Seem Infinitely More Beautiful

Nothing Makes Horny Sailors Imagine Masturbating Bears

Norman Mailer Had Some Incredibly Meaningful Books

Narcosit Means His Spelling Is Mighty Bad

Naked Madmen Have Spunked In Marge's Bed

No Madonna, Have Some Intelligence, Malawi Bitch

Jesus Christ, I've had way too much coffee.

Anonymous said...

No
Matter
How
Small
It
May
Be

kstach said...

I know what you're going through. I too am having bad timing and bad luck with guys. I just actually spoke to a guy I dated who is dating someone new and I asked what did she have that I didn't. He said he didn't know, but that I was a great girl, it was just bad timing. I'm having that a lot. All my friends are married or dating someone. They all tell me they don't understand why I can't find someone, I'm attractive, funny, outgoing, a good catch. So what is the deal. I guess I don't know why I'm writing to you, but I guess it's also a way to vent and see that there are others out there. Now you're a very beautiful woman so I really can't beleive you have bad luck. Maybe it's the Milwaukee guys as I too live in Milwaukee.