Friday, January 2, 2009


One thing that I've always a hard time with is when people don't like me. Especially when a guy doesn't like me. For instance, for several months I was really bothered by the fact that a certain person broke up with me. This person would call, we would occasionally hang out, etc. Yet, this person didn't want to date me. The reason they gave at the time was I required more time than they wanted to give. Now, they date a much younger girl in college 2 states away. Whatever. This is where I bring in the "NICOLE FACTOR".

I have a very good guy friend named Ben. Even though Ben and I went on a few dates we remain good friends. I think both of us realized we were better off just friends. So a few months ago I called Ben up and was venting and he was semi-listening. I told him about the ex and was trying to come up with a reason why this guy wouldn't want to date me. Then he brings up Nicole. He starts telling me that he doesn't understand why I give these guys a second thought. Why do I stress over them. He said, "Erin you're a very attractive girl, like one of the most attractive girls I know. You need to start acting like Nicole. If a guy doesn't like her she says 'Screw it. I deserve better than that, and if they don't like me...F$&* THEM!"

Now Nicole is a young girl. I think she's like 21. She's a very attractive girl. Confident, sexy dresser, exotic looking, she's very cute. Now, it's probably easy for Nicole to be so confident because, I don't think there's ever a real shortage of guys after her. So if one doesn't work out...move on to the next. It's definitely NOT like that for me. Although, there is a lesson to be learned in this situation.

The Lesson: So what if Ex boyfriend # DD28 broke things off with me? HIS LOSS!! Really, it is his loss. I am a great catch. I'm a funny, attractive, loving, smart, career minded, and passionate girl. Hell, I'm one of Milwaukee's hottest 100 people!! So...he better recognize!! J/k. So, if he chooses to settle with a young, mindless, not attractive, not funny, lame P.O.A...HIS LOSS! It really is...and all his friends know it too. I think everyone knows it except him.

It's funny, your friends always try to convince you that it's their loss and most of the time you don't believe it because you're so upset and you miss that person but, this time I'm going to believe it. I recently told a guy that wants to be just friends that I shouldn't ever have to convince, coax, or beg for someones attention or to have them spend time with me. If they choose something else...again THEIR LOSS. I'm worth someone wanting to spend time with me. I am worth dating.

Like the great Stuart Smalley of 'SNL' said...


Dave said...

Your friend is right. I also have spent way to much time trying to figure out why someone doesn't like me. I decided to start this year off thinking about myself. If I meet someone great.


Anonymous said...

not every has to like you and you don't have to like them. that is life. i believe we all have 'matches' out there but not everyone is going to be a great match for us. so don't worry if you are not liked by everyone you go out on a date with. it's OKAY. people are looking for different things and we can't be everything to everybody. so if you feel rejected, be sad for a moment then move on and realize they simply weren't the best person for you. he is still out there.